The Man Food Show - Recap

Alton starts the show with a special message to the ladies. He tells them the episode will teach their men how to prepare a delicious breakfast like the one he has in front of him - in bed. He asks them to leave the room for just this one episode, so they’ll be pleasantly surprised…and when they leave, Alton fishes a beer from inside the tall orange juice glass and explains to the men that breakfast in bed is just a bad idea. It raises expectations. Pretty soon they’ll be expected to share and cuddle, and even take out the trash. But the ruse was good for getting the ladies out of the room so the guys can work on their man food skills. These are the sorts of food the ladies will object to – too much fat, too much salt, too much… much. But these guilty pleasures, every now and again, are just Good Eats.

Alton’s first stop is a carnival, where he learns the history of the corn dog. It began in 1942 at the Texas State Fair, where brothers Neil and Carl Fletcher – vaudevillians turned concessionaires – first dipped a dog into batter and deep fried it. As Alton puts it, a real “2001: monkey touched the monolith moment.” It’s possible corn dogs were invented earlier by German sausage makers, but 1942 is the first certain appearance. Wither way, corn dogs are delicious and anyone can make them with the right gear.

Alton heads to a cooking store to get that gear. Once, he recommended against deep fryers – simple, lightweight pots with heaters welded to them. These were dangerous in a number of ways. A new generation of fryers has hit the stores since then, and Alton’s been converted. These home machines inherit their design from commercial machines: the element is immersed in the oil, not attached to the pot. They have thermostats to keep the oil at the correct temperature, baskets for quick immersion and easy removal of food, and vented lids to let steam out. They’ve even improved the electrical cords: special connectors pull free easily so a careless foot can’t hook the cable and pull the fryer off the counter. Alton considers all of these features essential; other important considerations include food capacity (basket size) and temperature range – higher is better – and whether the controls are analog or digital (digital is better).

Alton next explains why it’s important not to skimp on the oil. A lot of oil means a lot of residual heat and a quick rebound to the correct temperature when cold food is added. And that means a faster, hotter cook with less absorption of fat. Choose oil with a high smoke-point that degrades slowly. Alton selects peanut oil, but canola, safflower, soybean corn, and sunflower oils are also good choices.

Frying equipment ready, Alton next selects the food. Ordinary hotdogs work fine, but sausage, brats, or anything similar will do. And you’ll need a skewer – Alton’s choice is chopsticks. The skewer must be strong enough to hold the meat and the coating.

Alton resumes from commercial demonstrating how to hand squeeze fresh orange juice. This is a subterfuge in case any of the ladies have snuck back in. When they’re gone, he returns to the corndog batter. It’s very much like cornbread batter. The dry team is cornmeal, baking soda, baking powder, a little cayenne pepper, kosher salt, and flour. The wet team is chopped jalapeno pepper (remove the seeds to keep the heat manageable), some grated onion, a can of creamed corn and some buttermilk. Following his muffin method, Alton combines the dry team and the wet team, and only then brings the two teams together, mixing just enough to moisten the batter.

Now Alton prepares to make the corndogs. He skewers all the dogs first, then prepares a pan with a little cornstarch, puts the batter in a drinking glass, and prepares a cooling sheet: a layer of newspaper in a half sheet pan with then a cooling grate inverted on top. The inverted grate brings the dog into close contact with the newspaper so it can drain more completely. The dog goes in the cornstarch dredge for a thin coating (this dredge will help dog and batter adhere). Finally it goes into the deep fryer. Alton cooks only two corndogs at a time. More than that will cool the oil too much, resulting in longer cooking times and a greasier dog. Also, oil at the correct temperature will produce steam pressure that will block oil from entering the dog, further preventing a greasy result.

The corn dog done, Alton next considers the manly griddle and the tasty treats it can produce. Particularly a small hamburger called the basket burger or sometimes the “gut grenade.”

Back again from the break, Alton is demonstrating how to fold a napkin into a decorative shape. Once again, he’s prepared in case any of the ladies have returned from their one episode exile. Shooing them away, he pauses long enough for them to leave, and then returns to the subject of griddles and gut grenades. A proper griddle has plenty of cooking area and a solid base than can hold in the heat. Underneath, look for a nice sized heating element and a generous grease tray.

The best burgers start as chuck. Chuck has delicious flavor and enough fat (20% or so) to keep things juicy. Leaner meat than chuck yields dry and crumbly burgers. Alton recommends selecting a nice piece of chuck steak and having it ground. That’s the best way to know exactly what you’re getting.

Alton selects the rolls and forms patties to fit them. This means the patties go right to the edge of the roll, which is how Alton likes his mini burgers. The rolls go in a low oven for warming while the patties are prepared.

Alton lines a half sheet pan with parchment and lays a pound of meat on it. A layer of plastic goes on top and Alton rolls the meat until it fills the pan – a very thin layer. Seasoning goes on next: onion powder, garlic powder, salt and pepper. Alton folds the meat over and tamps it down around the edges. A pizza cutter works well for cutting the dough into small square burgers that fit the buns. Then onto the grill – these small burgers cook very quickly, so keep an eye on them. Thin is better for ground meat, because thicker patties mean longer cooking time. And longer cooking time means connective tissue (mostly collagen) will coagulate and shrink. That can pull a nice flat patty into a shapeless blob.

Once the patties are done – two minutes to a side and only one flip, please – bun them up. To keep the juices from turning the bun soggy, Alton suggests mayonnaise, which is entirely made of fat. A thin layer creates a kind of waterproof seal.

Corndogs and “gut grenades” are real man food, and if you make them yourself, real Good Eats. After Alton’s crew and friends devour these treats, he heads outside to the flower bed. There, he finishes the “breakfast in bed special” by explaining how to build a bouquet... just in time for the ladies to reenter the room. And that’s all the time for this episode...

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