Episode Quotes
Alton: You know, in the days before science, people came up with some pretty weird reasoning to explain the world around them.
Alton: Heck, if you can get it published on paper, or get it on the Internet, and it’s about food, people will believe that it is gospel. But is it? Well... somebody needs to find out, and I see no reason why it shouldn’t be us that does the finding! So please – join me for what I hope will become the first in a long line of episodes dedicated to shining the searing light of truth on the culinary world. I call it “Culinary Myth Bust...” (the telephone rings) Excuse me. (into the phone) Hello? (to the viewers) It’s my lawyer (into the phone) Are you serious? Copyright infringements? Fines? FINE! (Alton hangs up the phone angrily.) As I was saying, please stay tuned for what I call “Culinary Myth... SMASHERS!” Because the truth is always... (Good Eats theme plays)
Alton: It does prove a point. What’s the point? Well, the point is that heat damages cells, and when cells are damaged they lose moisture. It’s just that simple. So obviously, searing doesn’t seal juices. That’s just another myth... busted! SMASHED! I mean smashed...
Alton: New research has shown that these gases can cause flu-like symptoms that last up to a couple of days. The key here is to not leave a non-stick vessel over or under high heat while it’s empty. When there’s food in the pan, of course there’s someplace for all that excess heat to go, so it’s okay. So at my house I’ve got a few rules: I don’t use non-stick for any cooking method requiring a super hot pan.
Alton: Pan fumes kill birds: this is no myth, this is a stone-cold food fact.
Alton: Now, you may have noted that I decided to, uh, weigh all these with the avoirdupois method, meaning ounces, pounds and whatnot, instead of metrically as we did the steaks. And there’s a very good reason for that, which is that when I changed the battery in the scale I forgot to flip the metric thing...
Alton: So, as it turns out mushrooms do soak up a little teeny-weensy bit of water, but it doesn’t matter whether they get a quick spray, a ten minute soak or even a thirty minute soak. They just don’t take in much water. So I don’t know about you – I’m going to wash my mushrooms and I’m going to consider this myth... smashed to bits!
Alton: See that big pile of bubbles? That happens because, as it cooks, the pasta washes off starch into the water, and that changes the surface tension, creating this big foam.
Alton: (about cooking pasta) My rule, in my house, is that I never cook in less than half a gallon of water. And that is only when I have two servings worth. If I’ve got more than two servings I go with a full gallon of water, and I make sure that I’ve got a pit that has at least two and better would be three inches of open space between the water and the top of the pot.
Alton: Great Scott! Microwave implicated in exploding water mishap! This, I’ve got to see.
Alton: Wow! Jeff, what just happened here?
Jeff: Spontaneous boiling.
Alton: What’s that?
Jeff: Superheating water – taking the temperature of the water above the boiling point with no bubbles.
Alton: The exploding microwave water is a cold, hard... food fact!
Alton: The truth... is out there! And it tastes good! So, guys, you ready to go try that liquid oxygen in the grill myth? Huh? Huh??? (Alton’s two associates dance with glee.) Alright, go set it up... go set it up. I’ll be there in a minute. See you next time on... Myth Smashers! And... Good Eats.
Cultural References
Alton's original plan is to call this episode
Myth Busters, but his lawyer says that would be a bad idea, probably to avoid any sort of unpleasant encounters with the producers of
MythBusters.
Alton mentions that
The Truth Is Out There as a coda to the episode; it is an iconic slogan of
The X-Files. A UFO poster visible on the wall behind Alton reinforces the connection; this poster is similar to a poster that appears in the opening credits of The X-Files.
As the episode ends, Alton and his men are going to try to light a grill with liquid oxygen. In 1994, a Purdue engineer named George Gobel did this as part of a experiment to see how quickly he could light a grill. The results were close to explosive. The grill reached cooking temperature in three seconds, and forty pounds of charcoal were consumed in that time. Needless to say, this is very dangerous!
During the microwave experiment, a subtitle appears. It reads “Professionals in a closed microwave. Do not attempt at home.” This mocks the many car advertisements that contain stunts (some of them ridiculous) that no rational car owner would attempt. Nevertheless, and doubtless prodded by their legal teams, the makers usually place a subtitle like this warning the viewer that the driver is on a closed course, and often finishing with a stern warning of the general form, “Do not attempt!”