Episode Quotes
Alton: (hunting a rabbit) Alright, we got the box ready, we got the string, okay now we need some bait. Nice, fat, juicy carrots... yeah, bunnies love carrots...okay, now just feed out the string... I’m going to have you this year!
Alton: I guess, Bugs Bunny notwithstanding, rabbits don’t really care that much about carrots. And that’s a real shame, because carrots are unique in the vegetable world. I mean, this little humble taproot contains more sugar than any vegetable save sugar beets. Unlike the sugar beet, which is good for absolutely nothing but making sugar, the carrot moves effortlessly from salad to side course to main course to dessert and beyond.
Alton: Silly rabbit. He didn’t know that carrots aren’t just good for you, they’re seriously... (Good Eats theme plays)
Alton: Black carrots were cultivated in the Balkans and Afghanistan as early as the first century A.D. By the time the seventeenth century rolled around, carrots came in just about every color you could imagine but orange! Then along came the Dutch, the very same botanical tinkerers responsible for the hundred of flavors of tulips and green peppers. Now Dutch growers managed to cross carrots of their day with variations until the isolated this rare mutation from North Africa, which displayed a huge amount of beta carotene, which of course is as orange as the day is long.
Alton: When it comes to spicing up carrots, I believe that you get more punch for your pinch when you stick with spices that are in the carrot’s own botanical family.
Alton: (as he eats a carrot slaw) Good, mighty good, and darn good for you. Why? Well there’s a bunch of fiber, it’s packed with potassium, not to mention 20,200 International Units of Vitamin A. Well, not exactly Vitamin A, but beta carotene, the naturally occurring orange pigment which, in the lining of your small intestines, is converted into Vitamin A.
Alton: It is said that during World War II the RAF shoveled so many carrots into their pilots in order to improve their night vision that you could actually pick the poor blokes out of a crowd simply by their orange skin.
Alton: (preparing carrot slices for Glazed Carrots) Consistency is golden, because it means that every carrot will be done at the same time. We also want to cut on the bias because it creates more surface area and it looks good on the final plate.
Alton: Unlike most hybrid dishes, with our carrots we are going to begin with the braising process, that is, the simmering long and low in a flavorful liquid, then we’re going to do the browning in a little bit of fat and a little bit of sugar, which will certainly add a lot of sugar. And that, by the way, is the difference between glazing and simply sautéing.
Alton: The way I see it, the ginger ale is a cunning addition because it’s going to supply almost everything we need – the water, sugar and a very strong flavor.
Alton: When it comes to carrots, what is true of spices is true for herbs as well: they play better with their own botanical family.
Alton: Science – it tastes good, don’t it?
Alton: Ah, the carrot cake. You know, the only dessert I know of based entirely on a taproot.
Alton: (after baiting a rabbit trap with a piece of carrot cake) I’ll bet we’ll have a new bunny in the box in no time flat... (The string jiggles and Alton pulls it, dropping the box. Something snarls nastily, clearly angry and clearly not a rabbit.) Oh, bother! See you next time on Good Eats!
Cultural References
The episode title, “A Taproot Orange” puns on an Anthony Burgess novel titled A Clockwork Orange. The novel tells the story of Alex DeLarge, imprisoned for violent behavior in a somewhat dystopian future, who volunteers for an experimental program intended to create in him a deep aversion to violence. It is a violent story about where one draws the line between freedom and societal need, and a dark commentary on the perils of expediency.
Early in the episode, a rabbit Alton was hunting refused his bait, a carrot. That left it with poor night vision, and so it became the victim of a hunting owl. Alton calls it a “silly rabbit” as the owl carries it off. The phrase “silly rabbit” entered the pop culture vernacular after General Mills created an animated rabbit character to pitch their cereal, Trix. The rabbit almost never succeeds in his quest to obtain the cereal despite many devious ploys, and when the children catch him they scold him with, “Silly rabbit! Trix are for kids!”
Thing makes a brief appearance, offering Alton a flexible cutting board after the need is past. Thing hails from
The Addams Family (1964) (and appeared originally in the magazine cartoons on which the show was based.) We will learn in
Behind the Eats that this is actually the son of the original Thing.
Alton concludes his commentary about the beneficial effects of carrots by mentioning that during World War II, the British fed their pilots so many carrots that they turned orange. His "Brilliant!" is straight out of a popular series of commercials featuring the (intentionally) crudely animated “Guinness brewmasters.” Starting in the early 21st century, the Guinness Brewing company used these characters and their catchphrase to pitch beer in the United States.
Alton finishes his discussion of equipment and preparations for Glazed Carrots with the phrase, “And now we cook.” He delivers it in the same manner as Mike Myers said, “And now ve dance” during Sprockets sketches. In these sketches (and a handful of other appearances) Myers played a character named Dieter, who hosted the show. The character appeared about a dozen times in a five year period (and one final time when Myers returned to host the show).
Alton cautions cooks preparing his glazed carrots to be careful during the final cooking phase (when the carrots are most tender), saying that “they won’t be able to take the strain!” in a thick pseudo-brogue. On Star Trek, engineer Scott (who was also a Scot) regularly said much the same thing about the warp engines that were his responsibility.