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Good Eats: Dis-Kabob-Ulated
From his childhood Alton summons a memory of burned and horrible kabobs made by his Uncle Rudy. He loved those charred treats and wants to recreate a skewer based meal. It starts in Ottoman Turkey with some history, explaining how limited fuel and the use of swords as cutlery led to the concept of small skewered bits of meat. In the present Alton shows what cuts work best and how to prepare them with a marinade. He continues with a trip to see W where he figures out the right skewer and she gets the point. Back in the kitchen he demonstrates how to skewer meat and vegetables to create Spicy Beef Kebabs. For dessert he brews syrup and prepares Vanilla Lime Pineapple Skewers. Alton proves that skewer-centric cuisine can make the most of time and budget.
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Episode Info
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Episode number: 9x2 Production Number: EA0903 Airdate: Wednesday June 15th, 2005 Writer: Alton Brown
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Recap
Alton remembers a part of his childhood. Occasionally his parents would run away for a romantic weekend and leave his sister and him in the custody of his Uncle Rudy. Uncle Rudy owned a conversion van and as far as Alton ever knew, he called it home. When he’d watch the children he’d fire up a Hibachi grill and incinerate whatever cheap meat he could scare up at the local mega mart. That and some suds made his meal. It tasted hideous and needless to say, Alton and his sister loved it! Especially the skewer sword fights at the end of the meal! With time, attention, the right skewers kabobs can be... Good Eats!..Read the full recap
Episode Notes
Cards
- A Kabob by any other name: Anticuchos = Peru, Brochette = France, Yakatori = Japan
- In Turkey, kabob shops are as common as hot dog stands in New York.
- Other vegetal skewer fodder: cherry tomatoes, yellow squash & potatoes.
- In chemistry, the term shish kebab is used metaphorically for a type of crystalline body that grows from a central rod.
The name of the episode puns on the world “discombobulated” which means “in a state of confusion.”
The faces on the animated Ottomans belong to Alton’s production staff. The most prominent character’s face is that of Patrick Belden, who writes the music.
Locations include Harry’s Farmers Market in Marietta, Georgia
Episode Quotes
Alton: I probably don’t have to tell you that those kebabs tasted hideous, or that my sister and I adored them. You know, the entire kebab thing seems so foreign, so exotic and sometimes, Rudy would let us sword fight with the skewers when we were done eating! Explains why my mother never liked that man.
Alton: Like many American skewer-meisters, Uncle Rudy’s kebabs served as a bold expression of his desire to have as little to do with cooking as possible, which is a shame, because with a little time, attention, know how and the right skewers, kebabs can be a true expression of... (Good Eats theme plays)
Alton: You have to wonder… if the Ottomans were so inventive, why didn’t they invent… the ottoman?
Alton: Now, traditionally kebabs and their kin receive at least a brief soak in a marinade. Why? Well, remember our Turkish marauders? When they managed to land a meaty morsel, it usually wasn’t prime beef. It was a boar or a bear or some other strange critter that was probably gamey, dry and tough. To counteract these conditions the raiders would soak their dinner in a richly spiced goo prior to cooking.
(Alton has a "voodoo doll" of his nemesis W)
Alton: I get the point. And so, soon, shall she…
Alton: I get the point. And so, soon, shall she…
Alton: (describing a skewer he likes) Well, after exhaustive testing, I do believe we have a winner. Check it out. It’s about thirteen inches of skewer; it is heavy duty nickel plated steel; you’ll notice that it is rectangular in cross section and that’ll keep food from flopping around, It’s got a nice sharp point that can easily be filed to keep it that way, and on this end a nice big loop for easy handling and storage.
Alton: If you have some skewers with relatively flat blades use them for vegetables, because they’re a lot less likely to split things.
Alton: Although you can certainly successfully cook your kebabs under the oven broiler, it is a tedious task at best. If you’ve got a grill, that’s what you’re going to want to use.
Alton: Above all, remember that kebabs are party food, and it doesn’t matter what the party is. You could be celebrating your new job, or maybe you laid siege to a fortified town. It doesn’t matter – the more the merrier. Now when going with the trench method, everyone can supervise their own cooking, and that takes the responsibility and pressure off you, the host.
Alton: So, when it comes time to serve you’ve got lots of options
(Watches someone slide a skewer through his teeth and remove the food.)
Alton: And, uh… that’s certainly one of them. But if you’re not experienced you might put an eye out!
(Watches someone slide a skewer through his teeth and remove the food.)
Alton: And, uh… that’s certainly one of them. But if you’re not experienced you might put an eye out!
Alton: Just as meat appreciates a little bit of a soak in a marinade before facing the fire, so does fruit appreciate a little syrup.
Alton: I hope your appetite is ready and willing to embrace to skewer-centric cuisine. Not only do shish-kebabs link us to a more colorful, simpler time, they can help you make the most of your current time, not to mention your food budget. Like my Uncle Rudy used to say – if you can’t drive a stake through it, it ain’t good eats!
Episode Goofs
Alton mentions Ottomans at around 900AD. The Ottoman Empire actually began around 1299AD with the rise of Osman I. He also calls those old campaigners Turks. Turkey is actually a successor state to the Ottoman Empire; it’s political system dates from 1923 and the leadership of Mustafa Kemal Atatürk.
Cultural References
Alton’s long suffering equipment guru W, homage to James Bond’s Q, makes another appearance. During this one, Alton uses a voodoo doll to punish her.
Alton produces what most people would call a “voodoo doll” and uses it to test skewers. This has the (to Alton) additional benefit of inflicting misery on his nemesis W. It is unclear where this practice originated; the “voodoo doll” is believed to come from New Orleans, Louisiana, United States and may have arisen as a way of inducing superstitious fear as a means of exerting control over others. Similar power objects exist in other cultures. The actual religion vodou has nothing to do with such dolls or with the creation of zombies, despite popular myths.
From about 1299 to about 1928 the Ottoman Empire and its people the Osmanli controlled portions of the Middle East, southwestern Europe and parts of Northern Africa (at times very large portions). In decline already, it chose the losing side in World War I and its territories were split among the victors. Modern Turkey occupies much of what was once the core of the Empire.
Analysis
By demonstrating a savory dish (the Beef Kebabs) and a sweet dish (Pineapple), Alton nicely bookends the style, illustrating the techniques that permit its employment with different foods and different classes of food.
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