Oxalic acid, the poison Alton mentions in connection with rhubarb leaves, is also present in the stalks, but in lower concentrations. It is not fatal, but over a long period of time can sequester calcium (as calcium oxalate) and other nutrients, and these crystals can irritate various tissues. Those with a history of renal incompetence (especially kidney stones), gout, and certain other conditions are well advised to avoid foods containing the chemical.

Avery: I dare say that had it not been for the untimely passing of Mr. Yorick...
Alton: Poor Yorick!
Avery: You knew him?
Alton: Not very well.

Avery: The annual Commodore’s banquet is in three days. This year’s theme is “Moonlight on the Potomac: Land and Sea, 1783.” You will be responsible for creating an authentic, historically accurate fruit-based dessert.
Alton: That’s just fine, Mr. Avery. I’ve got pie skills to fill the bill!
Avery: You do know that the Commodore has written several award winning volumes on pie?
Alton: Pie? Did I say pie? I mean cobbler.

Alton: In the “rock, paper, scissors” of the culinary world, cobbler beats pie every time. It’s the ultimate fruit delivery device, and although its roots are very firmly set in the past, cobblering is a method for modern living.
Avery: Well. I may periodically stop by to check on your progress from time to time. Good luck, Mr. Brown.
Alton: (giving the viewers a look). Oh, thank you, Mr. Avery. But I don’t need luck. I’ve got... (Good Eats theme plays)

Deb Duchon: So, what’ll you have?
Alton: Can I have just a minute to think it over?
Deb Duchon: (irritated) Whatever.
Alton: Wow. She didn’t mention that there was surly tart on today’s menu! Ha, ha! Surly.

Alton: Tenderness, of course, comes from using a warmer melted fat that can ooze throughout the dough, and flakiness comes from using a cold fat that remains in solid sheets as you roll it out. Since we’re making cobbler, I just don’t care that much about tenderness. I really want good, solid flake structure, which is why I’m using chilled fats, and I want flavor, which is why I’m using a combination of lard and butter.

Alton: If you want to know what fruits make for good cobblers, you have only to check out the preserves section of your local mega mart. That’s because the berries and stone fruits that are so popular with preservists contain reasonably high amounts of pectin. Now, that’s a water soluble polysaccharide capable of creating a kind of gel when cooked in a slightly acidic, aqueous solution.

Grim Reaper: Ah, oxalic acid. One of my favorites. It’s right up there with hemlock and old Three’s Company reruns. Try some! (He offers Alton some rhubarb.)
Alton: Oh, what the heck! (Alton eats a piece of the rhubarb and immediately begins to flail about as if in mortal distress.)
Grim Reaper: Another clueless pedestrian lured in by the ruby-hued stalk of doom! (Laughs evilly.)
Alton: (recovering) You know, actually, all the poison’s in the leaves. That just... really tastes lousy raw.
Grim Reaper: Eh, well... Can’t blame a wraith for trying!
Alton: Suppose not.
Grim Reaper: See you next week! (noting Alton’s alarmed look) Just kidding... or am I? (He drifts off, laughing evilly.)

Avery: Mmmmm, sure smells good. But, um, peaches?
Alton: Yeah, peaches!
Avery: Well, it’s just that our dinner celebrates the cuisine on the northern shore of the Potomac, not the southern shore.
Alton: (laughing) You’re kidding, right, Mr. Avery?
Avery: We at the Institute never kid about food, Mr. Brown
Alton: No. No, I’ll bet you don’t.

Alton: Craving cobbler but find yourself without an oven? Do not despair. Just make like a New Englander and punt... with a grunt!

Avery: The Commodore has a bit of a blackberry allergy.
Alton: An allergy, huh?
Avery: Blows up like a balloon at the sight of them. Ironic, really. His estate is overrun with them. But, that’s the English countryside for you.

Avery: Since Mr. Yorick is not as dead as first suspected, your application has been denied. But there’s always next year!
Alton: So, what have we learned here kids? We've learned that cobbler isn't just a link to the past it is a bridge to our culinary future. We've also learned that if you've got good eats on your plate you don't need fancy schmancy clubs on your resume. See you next time!

There's a bit of byplay between Alton and Mr. Avery at the beginning that is an allusion to a famous quote from Shakespeare's Hamlet: "Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio." It is frequently misquoted as "Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well."

The Grim Reaper appears during the discussion of rhubarb, as Alton explains that the plant’s leaves contain oxalic acid. He claims this is one of his favorites, next to hemlock and old Three's Company reruns. The Grim Reaper is the personification of Death – more specifically, the harvesting of a ripe soul in the same manner a farmer harvests ripe grain, and this is why most depictions (including this one) bear a scythe, a tool once used for harvest. Three’s Company aired between 1977 and 1984 and told the story of a man and two women renting from a somewhat puritanical landlord, a situation that required the man to feign homosexuality to convince the landlord that nothing sexual was going on between him and his roommates. Ironically, nothing was, but the landlord believed it impossible for men and women to room together as a convenience or as friends. Evidently, the Grim Reaper was not a fan of the show, believing that reruns of the series could deliver fresh souls to him. (Admittedly, the show is now somewhat dated, and even for its time many of its plots were the stuff of formula television.)

Sock puppets Tender and Flaky reappear. They have a long history going back to some of Alton’s earliest shows, such as The Dough Also Rises, and they appear anytime he needs to illustrate a fine point about the tradeoffs inherent in certain kinds of doughs and quick breads.

With three recipes, Alton demonstrates various ways to prepare fruit filling and various toppings, which could be “mix and match” depending on how much time the cook has and what kind of dessert he or she wants. A touch light on the science, but does remind viewers about the tender/flaky balance and the role of pectins in fruit desserts.