Episode Quotes
Alton: Good evening. From time to time on this program, we journey onto another plane. A plane which happens to be rather lacking in one dimension. I speak of course of the unique realm of flat food. Here we find the pizza, the flank steak, the pancake... and yet, rarely do we ever see an entire creature. That is because, with the possible exception of those of us who live on television, most animals are three dimensional. Except, of course, the flat fish.
Alton: Flatfish begin their lives the way that roundfish do, swimming upright. But, early on, one eye starts to migrate over by the other, the mouths get longer, and their bodies start listing to one side, until eventually they’re swimming one hundred percent horizontally. And if that weren’t freaky enough, some species can even alter their pigmentation to mimic their surroundings. Kind of like, I don’t know, ninja bathmats!
Alton: Excuse me, sir...?
W, Alton: (each recognizing the other) Ahhhhhh!
W: You!
Alton: W!!
W: What are you doing here??? It’s not enough that you drive me insane at work, you have to stalk me on vacation, too?
Alton: Well, I’m sorry – really – I had no idea that you were a fisher... person.
W: Angler, thank you very much.
Alton: Angler. Okay, well, since I’m here, maybe you wouldn’t mind giving us your angle on boning knives...
W: If I do, will you go away?
Alton: Very quickly.
Alton: (noticing that most of his cheese sauce has remained in the casserole) Hey, you know, that sure is a lot of cheesy goodness left in that pan... That ought to be on my plate. You know, if we had a... if we could... can I do this again?
Alton: Unlike salmon, or tuna, or even cod, flatfish are very, very lean. And that’s good in a lot of ways, but it also means they are very, very good at overcooking quickly.
Alton: (preparing to serve oil poached flounder) Now, service relies on a nice, long fish spatula which will help us get under the filet and remove it withput breaking it into gobs of pieces, because believe it or not – breaking up is actually very easy to do.
Alton: If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it nine times. Be it pizza or pancake, flank or flounder, flat is beautiful. As for our friend here (referring to a flatfish), he’s got the advantages of not needing to be pressed, pounded or pirouetted in any way. He’s already good and flat. But what he lacks in depth, he makes up for in flavor. See you next time on... Good Eats!
Cultural References
Alton begins the episode wearing a dark suit and on a dark stage, while tinny chime-like music plays. His mannerisms and intonation are those of Rod Serling and the setting is reminiscent of Serling’s introduction to
The Twilight Zone and
Night Gallery.
Caught in lies, Alton’s fishmonger switches from a discussion of sole to a discussion of soul, as in:
Soul Train, a popular musical show that focused on soul music.
Alton’s redoubtable equipment specialist W makes another appearance. A spoof of James Bond armorer Q, she can't even evade Alton while on vacation - he catches up with her here for some advice on selecting a boning knife.
Alton takes care to handle his poached flounder carefully lest it break up, something he says is easy to do. He’s referring here to Neil Sedaka’s hit song “Breaking Up is Hard to Do.” circa 1963. The song has been covered many times.
At the end of the episode Alton concludes the virtues of flatfish as compared to roundfish with a “Sorry, Charlie.” Charlie was a beatnik tuna created around 1961 to pitch Starkist tuna. Charlie believed his “good taste” made him a good catch for the company but they were looking for tuna that taste good, not tuna with good taste. They always rejected him with a note saying, “Sorry, Charlie.”