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Good Eats: Cubing A Round
Alton walks the Hall of Home Cooked Horrors, a display of the worst meals of childhood memory: liver and onions, beets and worse... and cube steak, coated with tasteless flour and gravy. But it need not be this way. With some knowledge and some technique, Alton aims to put cube steak back on the menu. He starts by discussing what cube steak is – and isn’t – and recommends the cuts that make the best cube steak. Then he talks about what those tiny little cuts actually do. A whirlwind tour of the nation’s diner reveals a wide array of meanings for the term “Country Style Steak” so Alton devises his own version. Discussion of braising leads him to Swiss Steak and then to the unofficial food of Texas, Chicken Fried Steak.
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Episode Info
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Episode number: 10x4 Production Number: EA1004 Airdate: Wednesday June 21st, 2006 |
Recap
Alton opens his show once again in that darkened realm known as the Food Gallery. In the Hall of Homecooked Horrors, he passes liver and onions (it’s on permanent display) and beets. Continuing, he surveys a mess he calls “Mom’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Casserole” but passes that to stand before something worse: cube steak. This “morass of mixed meats” coated with flour and topped with “gravy” has horrified children and adults alike for years. But it doesn’t have to be that way. With a little love, a little consideration, and a little care cube steak, either slow cooked or fried, can be... Good Eats...Read the full recap
Episode Notes
Cards
- Want to cube? Feed your favorite search engine “48 blade meat tenderizer.”
- According to the Texas Restaurant Association, some 800,000 orders of chicken-fried steak are served daily.
- Smoked paprika is made by drying ripe peppers in adobe smokehouses; gently heated by slow-burning oak wood.
The Food Network (and therefore most television listings) calls this episode "Cubing Around."
The “Swiss Miss” appears in the window when Alton mentions Swiss steak. This strange apparition appears whenever any discussion touches on Switzerland or on people or things from that land.
Episode Quotes
Alton: In any sane universe, this prodigiously perforated montage of mismatched meats would be used to patch tires instead of fill stomachs.
Alton: Like many a monster from childhood mythology, the only thing cube steak needs is... a little love, a little consideration, a little homespun know how. Because when it’s treated right, even the cheapest cutlet in town can case a tall culinary shadow. Whether it’s slow cooked or chicken fried, cube steak can and will be... (Good Eats theme plays)
Alton: A two pound bottom roast, bottom round roast, when perforated personally in the privacy of your kitchen will taste better and will probably be a good bit cheaper.
Alton: You’ve been a very bad dungeon master, and as punishment I want you to... go skim the moat!
Dungeon Master: (gleefully retrieving a straw) Oh, me! Lucky straw!!
Dungeon Master: (gleefully retrieving a straw) Oh, me! Lucky straw!!
Alton: No matter where you roam, cube steak confusion is sure to follow. Well, in the name of culinary clarity I’m going to stick out my neck and declare that a cube steak. lightly dredged in flour, lightly pan fried and then braised in a brown sauce is indeed country style steak.
Alton: (describing his Country Style Steak) This is what we call DMT – Deep Mahogany and Tender. So tender you don’t even need a knife to cut it.
Alton: You know, I used to have to say “Nutritional Anthropologist” to summon you up. Now you just pop in and out whenever you want. What’s up with that?!?
Deb Duchon: Well, I just happen to be here doing undercover social research on middle aged suburbanite males and social bonding through caffeine consumption.
Alton: Fascinating...
Deb Duchon: Well, I just happen to be here doing undercover social research on middle aged suburbanite males and social bonding through caffeine consumption.
Alton: Fascinating...
Alton: Now that, my friends, is cube steak taken to its highest possible elevation. Chewy on the inside, a little crusty on the outside, all smothered in a peppery, creamy gravy. Yep, there’s only one thing missing from this picture (someone sets a mug of beer in front of Alton). Correction! Life’s complete!
Alton: (again in the Hall of Home Cooked Horrors) Well, it appears that cube steak does not belong in this exhibit. Cubing, like atom smashing, is a mighty force, but with a little know how in your noggin, you too can use you power for good... eats, that is!
Cultural References
Alton’s Food Gallery, a spoof of Rod Serling’s Night Gallery makes a return appearance. Like its inspiration, the Food Gallery is a darkened hall containing bizarre exhibits, one of which becomes the inspiration for the episode.
The "Don't Ask, Don't Tell Casserole" mocks a policy of the Clinton presidency. The United States adopted a policy entitled “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” towards homosexuals serving in the military. Such soldiers were technically forbidden to serve, but if they kept quiet about their sexual orientation, the military would generally avoid making an issue of it. The phrase as since entered the vernacular as a general description of any situation where neither party really wishes to discuss the truth.
Alton's use of "Frankensteak" to describe a piece of meat refers to Mary Shelley’s novel Frankenstein, first published in 1818. The novel tells how Dr. Frankenstein assembled a man from pieces of corpses and brought him to life. The prefex “Franken” or the entire word “Frankenstein” has since entered the pop culture lexicon as a description of anything made from various parts with the implication that the whole is less than the sum of its parts.
The The Dungeon Master, a robed character with his fiendish array of instruments and apparent sadistic streak (barely kept in check by Alton) is likely a spoof of the Crypt Keeper, host of the Showtime series “Tales From The Crypt” (which was itself based on a comic book from the 1950’s).
Threatened with “W” the Dungeon Master tells Alton “she hateses us.” A similar character of dark and secret places, Gollum, speaks this way. In The Lord of the Rings, Gollum held onto the One Ring longer than was wise; its magic corrupted his body and largely destroyed his mind, giving him strange speech patterns and evil habits.
Alton’s pronunciation of "until it’s the consistency of buttah" imitates Linda Richman, a character created by Mike Myers for a series of Saturday Night Live sketches about a group of women gathering to discuss one inanity or another. For the character, Myers affected a Yiddish accent and salted his dialogue with Yiddish words of dubious pedigree. The phrase was “like buttah” appeared on a number of occasions, eventually becoming a stock phrase for the character.
Alton's "It will be… it will be…" brings to mind a quote from the 1980 film Star Wars V: Return of the Jedi. Luke boasted that he wasn't afraid to enter a particular place strong with the Dark Side, murmuring “You will be...you will be...” Alton uses the same intonation here to counter anticipated complaints that the cooking liquid for country style steak “isn’t a sauce."
After stashing his cutlets in the oven, Alton tells viewers, “Now ve build ze gravy.” This imitates a Mike Myers character named Dieter, created for a Saturday Night Live sketch entitled “Sprockets” about a stereotypical German television show. At some point Dieter always stood and uttered his catchphrase, “Now ve dance,” in the same intonation Alton uses here.
Episode References
Alton and the Dungeon Master briefly discuss W, who does not appear in this episode. She appears in many other episodes, usually helping Alton select the right tool or appliance for the task at hand.
Analysis
A good demonstration of three nice meals one might make from a relatively inexpensive cut of meat. Be warned that none of these meals are particularly low in calories, given that they are start out with a basic flour dredging and frying process. The historical discussions nicely show how these foods evolved from recipes brought here by immigrants. True of Good Eats at its best, this episode explains not only what to do, but why one does it – enabling the cook to apply the techniques to other, similar recipes.
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