Good Eats: Milk Made

Only one naturally occurring edible substance exists only as food – milk. Even honey, technically a manufactured product, does not qualify. Alton spends some time discussing the production and history of milk as well as some things to watch out for (featuring a surprise guest). Alton the way, he shares recipes for Tres Leche Cake, Dolce de Leche, and Quick Cottage Cheese he claims beats anything the store can offer.

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Episode Info

Episode number: 11x1
Production Number: EA1101
Airdate: Wednesday June 06th, 2007

Writer: Alton Brown

Guest Stars

Ramon Engle
As Himself

Recurring

Uncredited

Paul Merchant
As Lactose Man

Recurring

Recap

Alton is in a stable, milking a cow. There he talks about milk with a few words about John Wayne: John Wayne ate steak. But before he did that, he did what every mammal does – he drank milk. Plants and animals live their own lives, and honey is technically a manufactured product. Milk is the only naturally occurring foodstuff that exists solely as food. It is so complex that scientists still study it to unravel its secrets. Most mammals lose their ability to digest milk (actually, the lactose it contains) as they mature – but humans exposed to milk have evolved to retain the trait. Finished milking, Alton leaves the stable with a bucket of raw milk...

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Episode Notes

Cards

Most manufacturers today remove milk’s natural fat, then add some back based on what type of milk (1%, whole, or ½ and ½) is desired.
A century ago the average cow gave 1,700 quarts of milk a year. Modern cows produce more than 8,200 quarts.
Cows that graze in pastures tend to give cream-colored milk. Grain fed cows produce white milk.
Milk is good for putting out the fire of spicy foods thanks to casein, which cleanses burning taste buds.
Anthropologists have suggested that lactose tolerance is mankind’s most recent evolutionary mutation.

After the B-Squared production company logo there is a very short outtake of Miss Muffet mugging for the camera.

Episode Quotes

Alton: John Wayne ate steak. ‘Course, uh, before he ate steak, or anything else for that matter, he drank milk. All mammals do.

Alton: Milk... it’s miraculous... not to mention... (Good Eats theme plays)

Louis Pasteur: (charging his flamethrower and preparing to confront the Food Police) C’est guerre! (Roughly: This means war!)

Alton: Cake and milk. I just don’t know if there’s a finer culinary combo on the face of the planet!

Alton: Grab yourself four skewers and prodigiously perforate!

Alton: Once you’ve got the whipped cream in place you should refrigerate this two hours before serving... haha! NOT! Nope, we dig in right away!

Alton: (about dolce de leche) Truth is, it’ll keep a lot longer than it’ll last, if you get my meaning...

Lactose Man: (after punching Ramon in the stomach) I’m not a doctor, but that had to hurt! I’m Lactose Man!!

Alton: As the bacteria in Roman’s colon chow down on that lactose, considerable discomfort results, due in large part to the rapid accumulation of... well... (Alton dons a gasmask) ...Okay, people! Let’s clear this room!!

Alton: Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider and sat down beside her... (Miss Muffet screams, puts down her bowl and races off. The camera pans up and we see that Alton operates the spider with a fishing pole.) ... and terrified little Miss Muffet (laughing evilly) beyond the boundaries of sanity!

Cultural References

Alton calls Thing for a cleanup after he makes a mess. He revealed in Behind the Eats that this Thing was the son of Thing from The Addams Family (1964).

The devices Alton sorts through until he finds the story of tres leche cake are View-Master viewers. These devices display a series of seven stereo images (fourteen total slides, with two slides required for each image). Since 1938, many companies have produced thousands of View-Master discs. They’ve covered topics ranging from scenic National Parks to military training (target recognition and range estimation), movie previews and cartoons.

Alton consigns his tres leche cake to “the cooler” overnight where it will finish absorbing the milk mixture. His intonation matches that of Colonel Klink from Hogan's Heroes, a sitcom set in a World War II prison camp that told the stories of a number of crafty inmates and the clueless guards assigned to supervise them.

Episode References

Lactose Man previously appeared "Good Milk Gone Bad" (season 6) and "Say Cheese" (season 8).

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