War at the Roses - Recap

Blair is addressing the invites for her birthday party.

Serena brings her professor his morning latte, and they chat about his
life. The conversation is fraught with flirtation and unspoken messages.
Only one week down, six to go before they can act on their feelings.

Blair's mom is in town to throw Blair's birthday party. She reminds her
mom that her birthday isn't actually until next week. Eleanor notes that
after 23 hours of labor, she's not likely to forget. She gives Blair an
early gift, a signed copy of "This I Remember". Blair finds it very fitting.

Rufus, Dan and Eric are having a morning chat and walk about his first
anniversary with Lily. They were going to do a family dinner, but Jenny
has a big test and won't be able to join them. It doesn't feel like
family without her, so they're just going to have a quiet evening in. He
goes to find flowers, and Eric and Dan touch base about why Jen's gone.
It's not a test. Eric's guess is "Fear of Chuck & Blair, 101".

Nate and Serena chat a bit. He thinks she got her hair cut, but no.
She's just happy. Chuck and Blair arrive, separately but simultaneously.
Blair wants to know who invited the Avon Lady. Serena tells her that's
the court stenographer. They want Chuck and Blair to make their peace
treaty all legal and official like. If one of them pushes the button on
the other, all that's going to be left is cockroaches. If either of them
breaks the treaty, they will be excommunicated. Nate and Serena will no
longer be their friends.

They hammer out the details. Chuck is not to bed any hostesses at
restaurants Blair frequents. Blair can't have fashion week in both Paris
and Milan; she has to choose. The list goes on. Blair calls a sidebar
just so it will look like she's not giving anything up too easily. They
discuss Rufus and Lily's anniversary. Blair says 'family thing' is
unacceptable. They discuss Colin as well. When they return to the table,
Blair pours herself some water and imbibes before agreeing. The meeting
is over, but Blair has one more issue she wants to discuss in private,
with Chuck. The meeting lands on Gossip Girl, and Dan and Eric discuss
how the two of them are fine, but the Humphrey family is left in a pile
of rubble. Dan and Eric want to give Chuck and Blair a taste of their
own medicine. Eric thinks they are no match, but Dan is not so sure.

Chuck attempts to shake hands goodbye with Blair, but she reminds him
that Article 19 states 'no touching'. Their drivers place them in their
respective vehicles and they part.

Juliet runs into Serena and they chat about what's going on with Colin.
She sends a text regarding Serena's interest in her professor to
someone. Serena sees Colin helping a beautiful young woman out of a cab.

Eric and Dan brainstorm their possibilities. Dan is going to give Chuck
some misinformation about Blair to try to rekindle their war.

Serena confronts Colin. The woman he was getting out of the cab was his
housekeeper. She says no more office hours. She'll see him in class
only. And apparently at Blair's party as well. He's invited. Since she's
not doing the family thing, she'll be there as well. Blair reminds her
that the Dean will be, too, and ends the call.

Dan finds Chuck, but Chuck sees right through his faked 'accidental
encounter'. He tells Dan to cut to the chase. Dan gets started but is
interrupted by Blair. The Gossip Girl blast was obviously fake, so no
war for them. Dan said she was with Jack in one place when Jack wasn't
even there in that time frame. Blair says he was in Chile. Chuck wonders
how she knew where Jack was. There shall be no amnesty for Jenny, and
Chuck is invited to Blair's birthday party tonight. He accepts. Blair
invites Dan as well, if he's feeling lonely.

Serena calls Juliet to tell her that the professor isn't cheating. The
problem is, they'll both be at the same party tonight and she doesn't
trust herself in his airspace. Normally, she'd have this chat with
Blair, but she doesn't approve. Juliet offers herself as a buffer, and
Serena gratefully accepts. Gossip Girl notes that Juliet's plans are
falling into place, And S is poised for a fall.

Dan checks with Nate on the specifics of the peace treaty. Nate can't
share, he gave his word he wouldn't. Security is coming to pick up the
paperwork and put it in the safe. When Dan hears that Nate saw Serena,
he reacts negatively. Nate says not to worry; she's seeing someone else.
They'll have to talk more later, he's late for class. He leaves Nate to
see his own way out. Dan grabs the paperwork on the truce.

Serena talks to Nate about Juliet. She's going to be Serena's date, so
she gives Nate a heads-up. He offers to be the buffer so he won't have
to run into Juliet. Serena calls Juliet and cancels. Juliet texts
somebody that she needs a favor.

Blair's mom wants Rufus and Lily at the party. She noticed that Chuck
was added to the party list. She also noticed that Blair was fighting
with the staff all day. Darota tells her that she can't fight with
Chuck, so she fights with everyone else.

Eric is laughing over Blair and Chuck's biggest secret. Dan is going to
make a couple of calls. Eric doesn't want anything to do with taking
them down. He hopes Dan drops it, too.

The party has a wonderful turnout. The Dean is impressed by Blair and
invites her out for lunch. Rufus and Lily arrive, as do Colin and
Juliet. Nate sees the latter two arrive. Dan is unamused to see Nate and
Serena together. Juliet approaches them. Serena refuses to tell Juliet
which professor is the one in question. Blair's mom leads Juliet away
before she can press Serena any further.

Dan finds Rufus and Lily at the party, and tries to send them home. They
can't hear what's coming. Eric asks Dan if he can't stop it.

Chuck arrives and asks Blair how she knew Jack was in Chile. She says
she must have read it somewhere, but he knows Jack was off the grid.

Nate makes Serena say the Gettysburg address so she stops flirting with
Colin across the room. She does quite well, Nate is an excellent
chaperone. While she is doing so, Colin writes a note and gives it to
one of the waitstaff. He excuses himself, and speaks to Colin. He saw
them arrive together. He assumes his name must be Ben, since that's who
Juliet left him for. Colin says no. Serena gets her note. She's supposed
to meet Colin upstairs in five minutes.

Blair grabs Nate to talk to in private. Colin grabs Juliet by the arm
and hauls her away for a private chat. He is not amused. She's been
seeing Ben? Juliet says this is not the place for that talk. She says
nobody can see them together, and he says fine, but she can bet her ass
they will be having the discussion. Nate and Blair see them together.
Blair leaves to tell Serena that Colin is dating Juliet.

Nate confronts Juliet, and she tries to brush past him but he uses his
body to block her. She's lied to him enough. It's time for her to be
honest with Nate. She tells Nate that Colin is her cousin. They don't
want people to know they are related because he's a teacher, and she's a
student. Nate tells Juliet that Colin is dating Serena.

They are having special toasts for Blair. A performer named Robin
crashes the party and changes the 'toast' into a 'roast'. Footage is
shown of Blair and Chuck doing karaoke at a private party after one of
Robin's shows in Stockholm. When Blair goes forward to stop the
recording, she knocks down Rachel Zoe. Rachel says she is fine, but when
she puts her hand on the table to stand up, she hits the edge of the
chocolate dip bowl and pours it all over herself. Chuck walks in, and
Blair assumes it was his doing.

Robin starts performing. Lily and Rufus dance together. Serena and Colin
agree that they shouldn't be trying to stay apart.

Blair confronts Chuck. She tells him that she only found out Jack was in
Chile because she was desperate for news of Chuck. She paid a private
eye to find him, but the only Bass he turned up was Jack. She is sure
Chuck did this to her, until Dan admits he did it. He's not sorry, but
Rufus is. He's sorry Dan has become one of them.

Serena calls Ben. They have a big problem. Serena's professor is Colin.
Their cousin Colin! He can't find out what Juliet and Ben are up to, or
she'll lose everything. He pays for her school, her rent. Ben wants
Serena caught with her professor. Juliet tries telling him that Colin
has no idea what all Serena is responsible for. He says it's the only
way their family can move on. Serena needs to get caught, and expelled.

Robin gave the karaoke disk to Blair's mom, swearing it's the only copy.
Everybody saw it, and Blair is humiliated. Eleanor thinks it wasn't so
bad. She feels powerless around Chuck. Eleanor tells her that she felt
the same after her marriage ended. She shut herself off completely. It
wasn't until the met Cyrus that she was able to let herself be weak so
she could grow stronger.

They get home to an apartment full of flowers. Eric tells Rufus and Lily
that he and Dan made the paper flowers. They kiss passionately.

Dan and Vanessa chat. He's glad she was there for him to chat about his
evening.

Serena and Colin decide again to wait. She gives him a passionate kiss
before leaving. There's a camera recording it.

Blair is ready to call it a night, but Chuck tells her the treaty is
over. He tears it up, and after they share how much they hate each
other, they have sex on the piano.


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