Juliet Doesn’t Live Here Anymore - Recap

Blair is having morning-after bliss when Serena walks in without
knocking. She's having Colin issues, besides the boundary issues that
Blair mentions. And he's not Colin, he's Professor Forrester. Blair
gives her some lukewarm advice and tosses her out of her bedroom. Chuck
pops up from under the covers. Blair says this has to end. This is the
last time. Chuck raises an eyebrow at her and grins suggestively.

Dan invites Vanessa to join him at breakfast with Lily and Rufus. She's
wicked busy, but asks him to swipe some soap for her. She sees that he's
reading a Colin Forrester book; she saw him being interviewed by Matt
Lauer recently. Dan says Serena's name and Vanessa checks out of the
conversation. After what happened with Serena at Hamilton House, she
wants nothing to do with anybody in her sphere of influence - except for
Dan. Nate doesn't even return Vanessa's calls. Dan wants to leave that
whole thing behind them. He picks up his bag and heads out the door.

Juliet is on her cell phone. She finds the little camera in Colin's
office, removes it, and ends the conversation. She starts talking
brightly about nothing to Colin, but he doesn't want to hear it. He
wants to finish the conversation about her being in contact with Ben.
Juliet gets defensive. She's all Ben has. Ben is lonely. Good, Colin
says; he should be. She says "He didn't do it." If that's the case, then
why did his lawyer have him plead guilty. He tells Juliet she's playing
with fire. Really? And he's not? She saw how he looked at Serena. He
says he has to run, and gives her an envelope, saying that if she stays
in contact with Ben, it will cost her, and this is what she'll lose.

Lily and Eric are at an interview, so it's just Rufus and Dan at breakfast.

Chuck and Nate touch base about Juliet and closure. He brushes off Nate
so he and Blair can have a quickie.

Serena and Colin take a cab together. She wants him to join her at the
ballet, but he refuses. Too many faculty members at Columbia are big
supporters. Not a good idea. She agrees, but hates the fact that it's
going to be another month before they can act on their feelings. He
invites her away for the weekend - separate rooms, so no rules get
broken. She says yes.

Dan sees Serena get out of Colin's cab when she gets home. Serena sees
Chuck and Blair post-coital, going their separate ways. Juliet recovers
the information from the little camera, and makes an appointment for the
dean to see it as well. Nate swings by to drop Juliet her stuff, and
finds out what the rest of us have known all along: She doesn't live there.

Serena confronts Blair, and she admits that she has slipped one or five
times. But it won't happen again! Serena reads her the riot act. Blair
defends herself. It's just ex-sex, fueled by the most powerful of
aphrodisiacs; mutual loathing and disdain. Besides, Serena has no
business passing judgment, Elizabeth Taylor. She's one inappropriate
relationship away from the Guinness Book. In the interest of showing
Serena how to set her best food forward, Blair calls Chuck to end their
dalliance.

Nate arrives at Dan's and talks with Vanessa. Once he found out that
Juliet lied about everything, even including where she lived, he
realized that Vanessa is innocent. He came by to apologize. He knows she
set up Vanessa. She appreciates him telling her. He asks Vanessa to help
him expose Juliet. If it will help Vanessa clear her name, he can count
her in.

Dan wants to talk to Serena about Colin. He wants to know why Colin
won't sacrifice a guest lecture fee to take Serena on a real date.

Blair and Chuck had a romp in the limo. They've literally come full
circle. They agree that it's over, and she gets out of the vehicle.
Chuck lowers the window between himself and the driver and tells him
they need booze and condoms. If he and Blair are going to end this, they
need to fully work each other out of their system. Blair tells Darota
that she needs to be kept away from Chuck Bass for the next 24 hours so
she can work him out of her system.

Colin tells Serena that they're taking separate flights, separate rooms.
After her talk with Dan, she thinks this really isn't a good idea.
Neither of them are willing to make a sacrifice so this can work. That
makes this just a case of incredibly bad timing. She tells him goodbye
and walks away.

Nate and Juliet are trying to talk but it's like watching a couple of
porcupines. He gets a text from Vanessa telling him to distract Juliet.
She is finally honest with Nate about where she lives, and that Colin
supports her. She buys expensive clothing, and returns it.The big secret
she's been hiding is that she's poor. Nate says that when his dad went
to jail, he had nothing. He knows whereof she speaks. She tells him she
lied because she's ashamed, and she broke up with him because she didn't
want to get too close. But she did really like him, and she still does.
She goes to leave, but he stops her. He wants to give her a second
chance. He invites her to the ballet that evening. She'd love to join him.

Vanessa goes into Juliet's place and takes a look around. She gets a
text that Nate is calling it off, he knows the truth. She finds the
memory card with the pictures of Serena and Colin, and smiles.

Blair is luxuriating. Bubble baths and chocolate; who could ask for
anything more? Her phone rings, and she passes. It's Chuck. 30 missed
calls. Serena comes in, and they talk. It's harder to chuck Chuck than
Blair thought it would be. What if she needs sex rehab, like Jesse
James? Serena tells her she'll be fine. She gave up Colin, so Blair can
surely do the same. Serena leaves, and Blair sends call #31 from Chuck
to voice mail.

Juliet tells Colin she's cutting off her relationship with Ben. Nate
offered her a second chance, and she's going to take it. It's tough,
though. She remembers how idealistic and optimistic Ben used to be. The
day he became a teacher was the happiest day of his life, and she still
sees him like that. Colin says that's not who Ben is though. Ben is a 26
year-old convict who has yet to take responsibility for his actions. He
will not be able to move forward until he owns his own.

Blair finds Chuck on her bed, in her dressing gown, eating her
macaroons. She tells him if he steps any closer she'll scream, and he
seconds that. The only way they can end this is lots of sex. Aversion
therapy. Too much of a good thing, that's what they need. Darota arrives
to tell Blair NO!! And that her date, Professor Forrester, is there to
take her to the ballet. He shoots a look at her, and Darota growls that
if the KGB can't get her to talk, Chuck Bass has no chance.

Dan gets a call from Serena, asking what she's doing tonight. He tells
her he has a hot date with a couple of Grimaldis and Netflix, why. She
says it's over with Colin, and she'd like Dan to be her date for the
ballet. He'll be at the Lincoln Center Fountain in an hour.

Blair comes downstairs, and Colin asks if Serena is there. He's canceled
his teaching at Columbia, and he wants to go public with her. Blair says
she'll take him to Serena, but if anybody asks, he's Blair's date. But
they have to hurry. There's a Bass on the loose, and it's hungry.

Juliet gets home and finds Vanessa sitting on her couch. Juliet deletes
the pictures from the computer. She's not interested in taking down
Serena anymore. But Vanessa is, so she leaves with the memory card.

Dan arrives and sees Serena looking gorgeous over by the fountain. Nate
and Juliet arrive, and Nate stops to chat with Dan. Blair drops Colin
off with Serena, announcing he is her date. Dan watches them as Colin
tells Serena that he resigned from Columbia. She can't believe he did
it, and he can't believe it took so long. Serena sees Dan, and he walks
away.

Chuck approaches Blair. She tries telling him the story of Colin and
Serena as though it were her own, but Chuck doesn't buy it.

Vanessa tells Nate about the pictures Juliet took, and how she's going
to use them to take Serena down. Nate asks her not to, but Vanessa will
not be stopped. She's going to show them to the dean.

Serena follows Dan and tries to talk. She didn't know Colin was coming,
or that he quit his job to be with her. Dan asks what now, and she
remains silent, so he walks away.

Juliet stops Vanessa from her little chat with the Dean. They walk away,
and Vanessa tells Juliet that she may have deleted the pictures, but
Vanessa kept the memory card. Juliet wants a fresh start, but thanks to
Vanessa (and of course her own machinations), she's not going to get
one. Nate is filling Blair in as well. As long as Juliet is going to
lose everything, she'll take Serena down with her. She approaches the
Dean with Vanessa by her side, and tells her that she has proof that
Serena is sleeping with her Professor for grades. Blair grabs the memory
card, throws it in her champagne and admits that she was the one having
an affair with Colin. Chuck chimes in that he can verify, because due to
his insatiable jealousy, he keeps stalkerish tabs on Blair.

Vanessa tells the Dean this is what "they" always do. The Dean doesn't
even know who Vanessa is. She tells Juliet that with no proof, she has
no idea who is telling the truth. She retorts that there was proof, but
Blair drowned it. The Dean doesn't like talebearers any more than she
likes women who trade sex for grades, so if they'll excuse her. She
hopes the performance she's about to see is more graceful than the one
she just witnessed.

Colin excuses himself and follows Juliet. She is now completely cut off.
She's as dead to him as Ben is. As he walks away, Juliet is confronted
by Chuck, Serena, Blair and Nate. Her obsession with Serena has grown
tiresome. She has no money, and delusions of grandeur. Blair informs her
that that does not make it okay for her to be a Single White (trash)
Female. They tell her she needs to leave, and Juliet says she's trying
to. They meant Columbia. She needs to leave. Not come back, and if she
does? They're really good at payback.

Colin and Serena talk in a limo about how things unfolded with Juliet.
Their family history is pretty complicated. But he just doesn't
understand why people will throw away everything that matters, just to
settle a score. She says he should hang around the upper east side, it
happens all the time. He's going to go back to his old life. They wish
each other luck and end the night with a kiss on the cheek. She
immediately calls Dan. Her voice mail shows Nate is calling, and she
ignores the call to continue leaving her message for Dan. Nate runs into
her as he's walking, clearing his head. He admits that it was Juliet who
made him turn on Serena when they got back from Paris. He wonders how
things would have unfolded, if it weren't for her. He tells her he
really misses her, and wants a second chance. She sees Dan over Nate's
shoulder.

Blair and Chuck talk about the evening. A takedown is better than sex.
It's a major endorphin rush. She appreciates him stepping up. It's
almost like something a friend would do. He says maybe they actually are
friends. They hug goodbye. Then kiss. It's a sweet, loving kiss that
turns passionate. He carries her up the stairs.

Vanessa, Juliet and Jenny become allies.


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