The episode begins with the Meredith and gang depressed and sitting outside the hotel, discussing how bad their tests went. They are also wondering if Alex made it. Meanwhile, Jackson’s mother tells Richard, that she has just found out that one of his doctors hasn’t passed the test. She doesn’t know though, who it is, she then says “if it’s Jackson, he will blame me forever”. Flash back to six hours earlier. The doctors are being tested in various rooms, by their respective examiners. They are given various scenarios by the examiners, which the doctors then are given time to explain, how they would deal with. Meredith is feeling nauseous while at her test, but pulling on somehow. ..Read the full recap
Meredith: (opening voiceover) Carpe diem. How annoying is carpe diem? How are you supposed to plan a life? A career? A family? If you're always "carpe"-ing the "diem"? If we all seized every moment of every day, there wouldn't be doctors. Who'd sit through med school? We'd all be too busy living in the now, whatever that means.
Arizona: What the hell were you thinking?
Arizona: You're an idiot. You should have called me. I mean, w-why didn't you call me?! I'm a doctor what do you think I do all day long?! Instead you go to some quack in Tibet? I mean, you should have freaking called me!
Nick: Naturopathy works too, Flagstaff.
Arizona: Woah! It's not Flagstaff! And it's not Phoenix and it's not Tempe it is Arizona Robbins, M.D. do you know what that means?
Nick: How do you spell it?
Arizona: It's not funny Nick! Nothing is funny you're dying! And you know what hell it was when Tim died because you were there, and-and you and I barely made it through that so to do nothing for six years and then come when it's too late I-I-
Nick: Why do you think I didn't come to you sooner? Honestly after Tim died, I could...You think I don't know how this must feel for you?
Arizona: You're an idiot! I couldn't have helped him! But I could have helped you! (storms out)
Meredith: I lied to you.
Derek: About what?
Meredith: I'm not okay. I might be dying, I think our daughter tried to kill me with her flu for being a bad mother.
Derek: Why didn't you tell me before?
Meredith: I'm failing, Derek. And I don't think I can go back in there. I just can't. I mean... will you still love me if I fail?
Derek: Do you want me to yell at you or tell you to come home?
Meredith: I want you to tell me what to do.
Derek: The test is a mirror.
Meredith: What are you talking about?
Derek: The test... it's a mirror.
Meredith: Reflecting my sickly incompetence? (pause) Are you saying I won't like myself if I give up now? That I won't be able to look myself in a mirror if I quit?
Derek: Whatever you decide, I will still love you.
Meredith: No you won't. Nobody loves a quitter.
Derek: Good luck Meredith.
Examiner: You seem awfully sure of yourself
Cristina: I'm sorry. Is that a question?
Examiner: You feel threaten?
Cristina: Oh. Have we move into psychology?
Examiner: I find your hostility curious
Cristina: I'm curious as to why you think me hostile
Cristina: My guy's a freaking fossil. The last time he was in an OR, it was lit by candles.
Lexie: Oh, hey!
Lexie: Thanks, for today, for letting me...
Mark: You did a good job in there.
Mark: You okay?
Lexie: I love you! Oh, oh my God, that just came flying out of my face! (mumbles) I love you! I just... Oh, did it again. I... I love you. I do, I just, I love you and I have been trying not to say it, I've been trying so hard to just mash it down, ignore it and not say it! Jackson is a great guy. He is. He's gorgeous and he's younger and he doesn't have any grand kids or babies with his lesbian BFF's and he's an Avery and he liked me, you know. He really liked me! But it was never gonna work out, because I, I love you. I am so in love with you. You're in me! It's like you're a disease, it's like I'm infected by Mark Sloan and I can't think about anything or anybody, and I can't sleep, I can't breathe, I can't eat. And I love you, I just love you all the time, it's... every minute of every day. And I... I love you. God, that feels good to just say that! I feel so much better! I love you! Mark...
Julia: Hey, Lexie! (to Mark) I thought you said the lobby? You ready?
Meredith: (closing voiceover) I'll admit the Romans had a point. You gotta to live life. And living means that every morning when you wake up you have to chose between seizing what life offers in the moment and forging ahead, no matter the weather or closing the curtains and shutting out the day.