Kenny: What happened to your face?
Eddie: I got ticked off at some dudes.
Eddie: Because they were beating the crap out of me.
Jimmy: What did Brad do wrong? So he invited Kristina over...
Lily: Yeah, and she said yes because she's a big slu--- because she... because she says yes a lot!
Eddie: Whenever I see a bowling bag, I can't help but wonder if there's a human head inside.
Sean: There's not.
Eddie: How do you know?
Sean: It's not that heavy!
Eddie: Yeah, you know how much a head weighs..
(Sean opens up bag to show him there's a bowling ball inside)
Eddie: Oh. Well, now we know.