Four Weddings and a Funeral (Minus Three Weddings and One Funeral) - Recap

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The episode begins, and apparently Eric and Derek are getting married—which would make their “Brangelina” combined name both “Eric” and “Derek” Alex notes—and Max forgot even thought their “Save the Date” was to be carted through the city streets like roman emperors (in costume of course) announcing, “We’re getting married, bitches!” Penny is excited because this is the first time she won’t be at the singles table; she has a date and at the mention of his name Brad calls time as they’ve all placed bets on how quickly she’d mention him. Dave and Max had seconds, Alex had hours but Jane had the exact time of three minutes.

“You guys talk about me when I’m not around?” Penny asks. “All the time,” Brad confirms. Brad is happy to share with Dave how he’s becoming the “Aside Guy” at work to his boss meaning his boss quietly comments to him during meetings about how much an idea blows and who’s most likely to kill everyone in the room. At lunch with Derek, Penny shares her creepy photos of her boyfriend sleeping which leads to Jane discovering everyone is in the wedding party but her as it was done by height and Derek already had a 5’8.” Jane goes quiet in rage and there’s apparently nothing more terrifying than “Quiet Jane.” “The world’s most dangerous Jane” Alex confirms.

Later, Max refuses to reunited his Madonna cover band “Madonna” which was one of Alex’s “top three favorite Chicago-based all-male Madonna cover bands right up there with Madonald and Material Earl” Dave brings out a poster of Madonna and they begin to chant for him to break out the Madonna mole. Max vogues a refusal while proclaiming his continuing love of Sean Penn no matter how thin his mustache gets “making him look like a hulk-out, roided up, John Waters.” Brad’s joy at being the “Aside Guy” comes to an end when he’s informed his entire department is being cut—in an aside. He reveals this to Dave when he has to cut down all the spa services he’d ordered at the hotel for the wedding, only to have to reinstate them and add lots of smelly cheeses as an upgrade when Jane shows up because he’s too afraid to tell her. Penny shows up alone as her boyfriend has returned to his ex. “I’m so glad that I don’t get invested in your boyfriend of the week that I only learn about through dialogue,” Max says in one of the meta-commentaries. Jane arrives with tiny gift bag with a hairclip, while the wedding party guest bags have wireless “Beats” by Dr. Dre headphones.

Apparently the only 5’8” spot in the wedding party is Derek’s brother whom he was separated from at birth. “They just met!?!” Jane replies, offended. Madonna then arrives much to Max’s chagrin and he won’t explain why, even though they’re very nice to him. The entire group is in tuxes which Alex and Dave declare as very “Jean Dujardin.” Jane feels she looks like an idiot in her gorgeous black dress slit up to the hip, but then Derek comes in needing a 5’8” because of “Eric’s hag, Jan. You know the one I was going to phase out right after the wedding” has come down with food poisoning. Jane’s joy is diminished somewhat when she’s in one of the bright yellow tuxes her half of the bridal has to wear. “My baby looks like pee,” Brad says upon seeing her. At the reception Eric comes to Jane for help in cutting back on the expenses of the wedding. While dancing—Jane leading of course—she lays out a plan to bring everything in line. Derek is with Penny who doesn’t want to leave the couples table for the singles table but discovers there’s something worse: the Skype table for everyone who couldn’t make it.

But all is not lost as Brian Austin Green is one of the Skypers. Alex comes upon Max singing “Like a Prayer” and gets him to admit he did want to perform but doesn’t feel he can because he gained weight while all the other guys stayed thin. Penny continues flirting with Brian Austin Green when connection freezes up and Derek then insists he dance with his Skyping uncle who declares, “You look like a hooker I slept with in Korea.” Brad is about to confess to Jane as she halves the appetizers but backs off when she reveals she doesn’t like helping to hide this as money problems hurt marriages. Alex announces to Max she’s going to give him a pep talk, which turns out to be the lyrics to “Like A Prayer” complete with Madonna providing harmonies and until she realizes they make a bad pep talk.

The rest of Madonna confesses they’ve had Lapband and hair replacement surgeries and those admissions combined with the beauty mark Alex puts on him convinces Max to rejoin them. Penny laments her evening to Dave. Even when Dave declares his platonic love for Penny while hers effuses something more it’s broken up by Jane coming to take their champagne. Moments later, Brad confesses that he was fired. Penny recounts her moment with Dave to Max while trying to help him fit in to his Madonna pants. She decides she has to talk to Alex first but when she goes to see her, Dave is there. Penny leaves saying it was something stupid. “You mean that the concierge looks like an Indian Martin Lawrence…Damn, Gina.” After Penny leaves, however, Dave and Alex have their own moment.

Jane has calmed down from Brad finally confessing that he was fired. She has no worries that he’ll be okay. Brian Austin Green actually shows up at the wedding because he lives in Chicago—and now his Skyping now makes no sense. It’s only a broken leg. But there’s no time to dwell because Madonna is on! Performing “Like a Prayer”. At one point Brad goes up onstage and does the Kid & Play dance with Max. Dave and Alex hold hands. The episode ends at this point.