The episode begins at Zoe’s, with her almost choking on a donut, while checking out George and Tansy’s photos on a blog. Because she is alone at home, she has no other choice but to Heimlich herself and thankfully for her, it works. She goes to Lavon’s and tells him and Annabeth about it. They are glad that she is ok, but she can’t stop ruing the fact that there was no one to save her life and that she had to do it herself. At the Rammer Jammer, Wade and Lemon are celebrating the fact that they have turned their first profit. ..Read the full recap
Lavon: Okay, five letter word for calling in sick. It starts with an 'H'.
AnnaBeth: Umm, hooky! As in playing hooky.
Lavon: That's a sign right there. Even the crossword puzzle is telling us to stay in today.
Zoe: In case anyone is interested, I just almost died.
Lavon: If you ran out of conditioner again, I keep telling you to buy it in bulk.
Lavon: Seriously, you okay?
Zoe: I almost choked on a doughnut bite. I couldn't breathe.
AnnaBeth: That happened to Lavon the other day. He choked on a walnut and I had to give him a little pat on the back.
Zoe: Exactly, you were here to give him a pat on the back. I had to heimlich myself. I just saw my future, and if an asteroid landed on us right now, I would be the only one in this house to die alone.
AnnaBeth: The odds of that happening are teeny-tiny.
Lavon: That's true. I saw a special about NASA, they have satellites up there looking.
Zoe: That is not the point!
Wade: I am happy to announce that I have taken the initiative to reinvest the Rammer Jammer's profits in --
Lemon: I'm sorry, you what?
Wade: Drum roll please! A brand new flat screen TV for that corner over there. You are welcome.
Lemon: Why the hell would you do that?
Wade: Well, since the day of the caveman, live sporting events have drawn paying customers to local watering holes. Such as this one.
Lemon: Yes, the operative word being cavemen.
Wade: We are turning the Rammer Jammer into the sports bar of our dreams, Lemon. How great is that?
Lemon: Try not great at all!
Brick: Dr. Hart, did you not see that note?
Zoe: Yeah. Do not disturb. What am I, housekeeping?
Brick: You remember my nephew Jonah?
Zoe: Jonah who's supposed to be in New York?
Tansy: I love my brothers to death, but chaos follows them. You've gotta look at them like overgrown kids without reason, common sense or commitment to hygiene. Big infants, really.
Rocket: You know what rhymes with liar? Lawyer.
George: ...no, it doesn't.
Rudy: I have an idea. Let's find Wade's car, and push it in the lake.
Rudy: Or, we could pee in his tailpipe!
Chicken & Rocket: (yelling) Pee in the tailpipe!
George: Or, or! We could go back to my houseboat and you guys could sleep it off.
If Tomorrow Never Comes
'If Tomorrow Never Comes' is the title of a song by country music artist Garth Brooks
When Zoe is looking through Shelby's phone records she tells Jonah that she "is like that guy Elementary."
' is an American crime-drama television show about a contemporary Sherlock Holmes.
Wade creats a drink for the Wine and Fight Night called "Beyoncé's Navel."
is an American singer, songwriter and actress.
Wade tells Lemon that he wants to host a fight club in the back room of the Rammer Jammer.
'Fight Club' is a movie from 1999 starring Brad Pitt
and Edward Norton