Episode Quotes
Hey Girl: Mr. Paladin? Hmmmh. Mr. Paladin? What are you doing? All alone?
Paladin: This is a hypothetical chess game between Napoleon and Hannibal. I've studied the two men, and apply the strategies they'd probably use in opposing one another.
Hey Girl: How do you keep from cheating?
Paladin: Well, that is the difficult part. To block out the opposition plan once the move has been made. They've played thirty-eight games so far.
Hey Girl: Who wins?
Paladin: Hannibal's ahead, twenty-four to fourteen.
Boggs: I never saw a man die before.
Cull: Well, it's like watchin' a big stag, or three coyotes, or...a hundred rabbits, all about the same amount of meat.
Sheriff: So, you're one of them. You won't pin on a badge, and stick around to do the hard part of the work. You just hang around on the fringes, top off the cream.
Paladin: I have made a legal claim with you.
Sheriff: Well, I don't like your legal claim. Y'know, this wouldn't be the first time that a man met someone on the trail, gambled away his money and then hollered for the law.
Paladin: Well, in that case, I would know their names, wouldn't I? I'd have some idea of their description, they look like. And I certainly wouldn't fight any mountain lion just to build up my case!
Sheriff: I'll see what I can do.
Paladin: So will I, Sheriff. I want to look in the eyes of a man who'd stand over me and write my epitaph like I was a skinned buffalo.
Sheriff: There's a law for the trail and a law for the town.
Paladin: And a common law of decency that covers both.
Sheriff: Now you're confusing law with the story of the Good Samaritan.
Paladin: Well, Sheriff, does the Bible ever say what happened to the bad Samaritans?
Sheriff: Not one word!
Paladin: Well, before we're through here, we may just write some added verses.
Topaz: Paladin?
Paladin: Now. I am Paladin. I am aware of that. How does it happen that you also are aware of it?
Topaz: Two men from here left you on the trail to die. You've come here to kill them. Been quite a bit of speculation as to which of our neighbors wouldn't be with us very long.
Paladin: How do you know I'm going to kill them?
Topaz: Are you?
Paladin: I don't know.
Topaz: You told the sheriff...
Paladin: How do you know what I told the sheriff?
Topaz: Since you hit town, every word you've said--probably a few you haven't--have been common rumor.
Paladin: As this conversation will be.
Topaz: Tell me, would it make a grave any warmer if you shared it?
Paladin: Well, they could have left me my horse and my food.
Topaz: They probably didn't think you needed the food. And would you leave a horse tied to a tree to starve to death?
Paladin: My horse was saddled and free.
Topaz: Free--to trip on the reins and break its neck!
Paladin: Well, I was particularly impressed with their concern for the welfare of my money. I'm sure they took that to keep it from falling into the wrong hands.
Topaz: Oh, you survived. Leave it alone!
Paladin: I surviv...! Topaz. I survived because the cat that clawed me I shot, and fortunately it died near enough so I had the meat to eat, and a skin to wrap myself up in at night. That's why I survived.
Sheriff: You leavin' now, Paladin?
Paladin: Still a matter of eighteen hundred dollars, my handgun, and a score to settle.
Sheriff: Score to settle? You hadn't had to gotten so mad at those two men out there, you'd be lying dead right now.
Paladin: I got some cash on the way. I owe a few debts around this town.
Sheriff: I'll settle your debts...
Paladin: I'll settle my own debts. Now what are you doing here? What do you know about this?
Sheriff: Why, I walked down when I saw a crowd gathering.
Paladin: All right, why did they gather?
(Sheriff indicates the knight on Paladin's rifle)
Sheriff: Uh, horse's head. Same as the one on the card you left at the bathhouse.
Paladin: Is there anything this town doesn't know about me?
Sheriff: Yeah, one thing. When you leavin'?
Sheriff: You call that a fair fight? (Paladin shows him his intended gun wasn't loaded) Ain't loaded!
Paladin: That's right. You rob a corpse, leave it. Corpse gets up, walks into town. And you try to get it to lie down again, by giving it an empty gun, challenging it to a shootout. That is just about as worthless a man as I've seen in a long time, and yet this town was willing to hide him, protect him. Why?
Sheriff: Now, Cull was no darn good, but he was awful slick. He owed almost everybody. Then when he showed up with that money, said he won in a card game, we all descended on him and he paid off. There's an old sayin', "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth".
Paladin: There's also an old saying, that none is so blind as he who will not see. Now do I get my money, or do you get me?