Nathan: So you saw the prowler?
Jess Minion: A glimpse. Barely. He was 6'7". One eyebrow. Fu Manchu. Carried a small slingshot. Had a tattoo.
Audrey: Does it matter? He was a six-seven unibrow slingshoty monster.
Jess Minion: Whenever you want to swing by. Look for footprints.
Nathan: Umm, yeah. Yeah, I guess I should.
Audrey: Jess, I think Detective Wournos needs to come by and conduct a safety review of your home. Lets say, around eight?
Jess Minion: Great. I shot a deer so we're having venison. Maybe you can bring a nice bottle?
Nathan: Of wine?
Audrey: No, antacid.
Audrey: That was painful to watch.
Nathan: No one was forcing you to.
Audrey: Uh, "of wine?" Yeah, we should show that to suspects who won't talk.
Audrey: I mean, it'd probably be cruel and unusual punishment.
Nathan: If my personal life is so painful to you, maybe you should stay out of it.
Audrey: Hey, I'd love to.
Nathan: But you can't. You're incapable.
Audrey: Oh, numb on the outside, sensitive on the inside.
Audrey: You remember any weird waves, loose winch line... a mizzen mast? (Richards stares) I'm from Ohio.
Audrey: I'm pretty sure Eleanor winked at me.
Audrey: She's a doctor. She knows when things aren't normal. I'm getting the feeling that she knows a lot more.
Nathan: She winked at you?
Audrey: There was winkage.
Nathan: Sometimes I wish we could get a normal...
Audrey: Brutal assault?
Nathan: Doesn't that sound kind of nice?
Audrey: Why would that be any better?
Nathan: At least it wouldn't remind me of my own problem.
Audrey: How does any of this remind you that you have no game with chicks?
Duke: Oh, Haven's finest. You know, I could add "ass" to that. "Haven's finest ass." And it would still work. For both of you. Just in different ways.
Audrey: God, why can't I just walk away from this town?
Eleanor: Well, you could, but we both know Haven has its... charms Audrey, is that what you really want, to leave, go back to the FBI?
Audrey: I want to find this thing.
Audrey: And I want to kick its ass.
Jess Minion: I thought you were really brave.
Nathan: What did I do that was brave?
Jess Minion: You didn't pee yourself.
Audrey: All right, Vickie just left the school and I put out an APB. We can arrest her now.
Nathan: I agree, we should. But for what?
Audrey: Uh, illegal manufacture and use of voodoo drawings?
Audrey: Here, I thought you might like these.
Eleanor: Ooh, these aren't decorations.
Audrey: God, no.
Eleanor: Well, good, because you know, I've got a kind of funky Mexican farmhouse thing going on. I don't want it to clash.
Duke: So why is it so hard to thank me?
Audrey: I don't know. Maybe because every time we start to be nice to each other, something blows it up.
Duke: Maybe you just ask way too much of me. Poklng around, the judging... the secret to happiness with men? Lower your expectations.
Audrey: Everyone knows that.