Anderson Harris: Hello, Seekers. It is I, Anderson Harris. Welcome to Hell. (groans)
Seth Byrne: That's a weird voice, dude.
Anderson Harris: Thanks, buddy.
Seth Byrne: We'll cut it out.
Seth Byrne: They say, "It was a freak accident," or maybe insect migration. Or--this is my personal favorite--"a gas leak." I mean, a gas leak? I mean, what? How many gas leaks does a small fishing village need to have before they get new pipes? Is something a man might wonder.
Dwight: So what do you think?
Gloria: Well, it'd be a cute rental, if it wasn't totally wrecked. Claw marks, smashed TV, the whole "bull in a china shop" motif.
Dwight: About the victim, Gloria.
Gloria: Abby Banks, schoolteacher, and by the looks of the rug, she just finished eating dinner. Chicken tikka masala.
Dwight: Can we focus on what's still in the victim?
Gloria: The why—that's up to you and your, honorary deputy over there.
Duke: Actually, I prefer consulting detective.
Gloria: Oh, a Sherlock fan. Well, what does your deductive reasoning make of this?
Dwight: Here's my offer. We take your equipment, put it on the ground, and you watch--politely—as I smash every piece of it. From there we grab your buddy on the way to the edge of town and we light your van on fire. And if you don't like that plan, I can always leave you inside the van. Deal?
Dwight: I can have Jennifer digging through those files by the time we get to the station.
Nathan: Jennifer can do that?
Dwight: As far as I can tell, everyone younger than me can do that.
Nathan: Why'd you bring them?
Dwight: No choice. They've got some gadget that can help us locate the rougarou. It measures the polarity of a... something.
Seth Byrne: Yeah, thank you.
Anderson Harris: What the hell happened in there, huh? Maybe the opposing frequencies created a compressed static field and, I don't know, "poof," maybe?
Vince: I'm sure that's what happened.
Anderson Harris: Oh, well that's reassuring.
Duke: So is this your first time destroying a supernatural monster with a magical book.
Jennifer: Yeah. How do you feel about dating Hermione?
Duke: Well, we all have our stuff. I snore when I drink red wine.
Jennifer: Yes, you do, very loudly.
Duke: Very loudly.
Oh, a Sherlock
is a modern-day update of the character of Sherlock Holmes, still set in London and still solving crimes. However, the detective uses modern-day conveniences to solve his crimes.
Jennifer: Seriously, I've read this and it makes Twilight look like Faulkner.
Jennifer refers to the Twilight novels, a series of novels that portray vampires as romantic figures that glitter in daylight.
Jennifer: How do you feel about dating Hermione?
Hermione Granger is the main female protagonist, a skilled sorceress and scholar, in the Harry Potter novels.