James: I met a waitress last night... big, I mean big ol' butt on her.
Mickey: A waitress with a big butt doesn't seem so uncommon.
James: Perfectly uncommon. Like twenty pounds o' sunshine in a ten-pound bag... oooh!
Mickey: How's your wife?
James: Oh, she good!
James: (on Mother Teresa) Maybe she was faking it?
Mickey: Faking it?! 'Cause we all know how much fun it is to work with lepers!
Amy: How we doin', Bill?
Billy: Pretty good, I got some of those self help tapes, you know, 'Personal Power'? Hopin' they'll help me with some of my weight issues. Everybody says do more cardio but my knee's just...
Amy: I meant how we doin' here!
Billy: Point of entry, the sledgehammered door. Point of exit...
Amy: Sledgehammered door.
Billy: It's an Incan talisman - that means good luck charm.
Amy: Actually, a talisman is used to ward off evil spirits.
Billy: Just sayin' it didn't work, is all.
Billy: We're never gonna solve this.
Amy: Good cop would.
Mickey: (as he takes photos of Amy) Keep your enemies close.
Ricky: How's it goin', baby?
Lola: (after punching Ricky) Never call me 'baby'! The name's Lola.
Ricky: I'm Ricky, you hurt my upper lip!
Lola: I'm here for the job, not dinner and a movie!
Ricky: (as Pops arrives) I ain't workin' with no mothball!
Lola: Who are you?
James: Who am I? I'm Gatsby, I'm frickin' Spartacus. But my name for your purposes is James. Never Jimmy, never Jim and never ever Jimbo. James.
Lola: So, which one are we gonna hit?
Mickey: All of them.
Lola: So, where do we start?
James: We'll need some working capital.
Ricky: Ooh, a bank?
Pops: No, dummy, we're gonna take out a small business loan!
Billy: I'm just saying, your people don't make good quarterbacks.
Billy: Your people, they don't make good quarterbacks.
Tyrese: Now you're an idiot and a racist! Vick, McNabb, Culpepper, McNair. How would you feel if I said all Irish people were drunks?
Billy: Oh, we have to be to put up with the blacks!
Tyrese: What'd you say?
Billy: Oh, I'm sorry, 'African-Americans'.
Amy: There something you want to share, Detective?
Billy: Maybe, can I take my pants off?
Amy: As detectives, you all suck! Okay? Got the job, got lazy and figured you could, what? Phone it in until your pensions kicked in? Well, that's done! Over! 'Cause bottom line is I'm not going anywhere so you better hurry up and get serious about your jobs otherwise I will kick your ass straight out of RHD!
Tyrese: You know what? I want to go on record as being strongly opposed to this move, alright? He's-he's lazy, he's obnoxious, he's fat! He's racist...
Billy: I'm standing right here.
Amy: Request a transfer if you don't like it.
Billy: (as he surveys the bomb scene) Write this down. Remaining eye... unresponsive.
Tyrese: Ah, that's it, man, I ain't writing that down!
Billy: Grab a bite? Tacos maybe?
Tyrese: Man, you just finished picking up an eyeball off the street, how can you even think about food?!
Tyrese: You-you... not right in the head, man!
Ricky: You know, for me it's not about the money. It's about the thrill.
Lola: For me it's the money.
Ricky: That's what I meant, like the thrill of the money, like seeing it lying out on the table in front of you, spread out, spilling out - that is thrilling! You're in it for the thrill, right? Kind of a thrill-seeker?
Lola: I'm actually quite calculating.
Ricky: That's what I meant! You calculate your thrills, you're thrilled by the money! Like me. So, I'm right.
Lola: You're an idiot.
Ricky: I work out three times a week.
Lola: You should try four.
Ricky: You see her naked?
Lola: Yeah, we took a shower together!
Ricky: Ohh, that is so hot!
Amy: (to Mickey) You look familiar, have I ever arrested you?
Mickey: So, which is more fun - the cops or the robbers?
Amy: I don't know yet.
James: I mean, come on, Mick. I'm your partner, I shouldn't be the last one to know.
Mickey: You're right and I'm sorry, James.
James: Okay. See, now I feel better.
Mickey: We're not gonna hug?
James: Aww, hell, no!
Ricky: Hey, do you know what's got a lot of protein? Walnuts. Do you like walnuts?
Lola: Can you shut up?!
Lola: You wanna know about me? I don't like people talking too much.
Ricky: Oh! Me, neither! What else?
Lola: I like craps not blackjack. White frosting not chocolate. Dogs not cats. Length not girth. I like men not boys. Clapton not Page.
Ricky: Clapton?! Not Page?! Are you out of your mind?! Did you even listen to my mix?
Lola: I like football not baseball, tequila not vodka and I always thought it'd be cool to be an astronaut. Are you satisfied? Now shut up!
Ricky: (on Pops' taxi) Nice! Did you steal this?
Pops: No, I won it in bingo! Just get to work, stupid!
Ricky: (to the pizza boy with a bomb strapped to his chest) Hi, I'm Ricky, I mean Eduardo, how are you?!
Billy: You must be real excited to be riding in the front of the squad car for a change, huh?!
Tyrese: You know, just-just keep it, you know I can actually hear you getting fatter!