(Al speaking regarding his current life)
Al: Nobody wants a dull and useless tool. They just toss it out and never use it again.
Tim: Or they could just sharpen it.
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(Regarding Al)
Tim: In a former life, Al was a motivational speaker.
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Al: The point is she has moved on. All I have done is just switched to a new shampoo.
Tim: What do you expect? A new woman to pop out of a Prell bottle.
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Jill: Tim, we really need to find him a date somewhere.
Tim: If he tried, he'd probably wind up sharing coffee with a 58 year old stripper named Vince.
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Jill: You should put on those black jeans. I want you to be sexy.
Tim: Those tight ones?
Jill: Oh yeah!
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Jill: We need to rehearse some pick up lines.
Tim: I can use the same pick up line I used on you.
Jill: Sorry, but I doubt she will love "sorry I hurled on your shoe."
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(To Al at the Bar)
Tim: I'm not going to stand in here with a beautiful girl who worships the ground I walk on. I'll go spend it with my wife instead.
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Tim: So how do you want me to dress then? Like a slob?
Jill: Just dress in your normal attire, that should be good.
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