Good Luck Faking the Goiter - Recap

The scene opens with Melanie, Victoria, and Elka in the normal restaurant and Melanie is reading the history of Cleveland. Victoria gets a text and tells Melanie to shut-up, to which Elka thanks. The Nominations are in and Victoria finds out that she is nominated to win best actress. However, she tells that she can’t win because Christa McAlister from “The Strong and the Gorgeous” died on camera and it is an award magnet. Melanie’s son texts her and Melanie tells that he is coming for a visit because he is driving back from college. Victoria tells that kids are weird and no matter what you do for them, they always threaten they are going to write a “Mommy Dearest” script. Joy gets back from Los Angeles and they ask how it working with Brad Pitt. She tells that celebrities are all the same and like everyone else. She tells that she thinks that she is having a midlife crisis. Elka laughs and says “Midlife?” Melanie tells that Victoria is nominated for another Emmy and she says congrats. Elka tells that she is going against a dead girl and Joy asks if she got Susan Gucci killed. Victoria tells that it was only trash talk.

At home, Victoria tells that her agent tells that there is a rumor that she is dying from a horrible disease. Elka tells that she spread the rumor. She gets a call from People magazine. Melanie comes in and asks Elka if she was a 20 year old boy, what she would want to do with her mom. Elka tells that she would watch her buy her beer. Joy walks in and tells that she met with some therapists and that they always want to talk about their feelings. Victoria reenters and tells Elka that the rumor is spreading and tells that the Foundation for the disease that she has wants to meet with her. Elka tells that the only symptom is fatigue. There is a knock on the door and it is Will, Melanie’s son. She opens her arms but he is texting. She wraps her arms around him. She tells that his room is ready and that they could go get some lunch. But he tells that he wants to crash first. Melanie is acting goofy and Elka tells that she hopes her daughter will be the one to put Melanie into a home.

At lunch, Melanie tries to talk to Will and he is texting again. She tries to relate and tells that she knows the chat lingo. Will puts down his phone and Melanie asks if he is alright with the divorce. He tells that he is alright and there is silence. Melanie starts talking about the history of Cleveland and Will puts up his phone again. Melanie tells that she talked to Will about the history of Cleveland and Joy tells that she has been seeing several therapists and it has given her a wide range of information. Victoria comes in fatigued and they wonder what is wrong with her. Victoria snaps out of it and congratulates herself for doing good and tells that the Foundation is coming by. Melanie tells that she wishes that she could relate to Will and Victoria tells that his cell phone has all the information she needs. Melanie tells that she is not going to invade his privacy and Victoria picks up the phone. She sees that Will has been texting a girl named Stephanie and she is asking if he told his mother yet. Melanie texts back and asks, “What should I tell her” and gets the text back saying “Why are you typing like and old woman?” Joy tells it is because Melanie spelled everything right. She gets a text back about the news that she and Will are getting married. She tells Stephanie that they need to take it slow and she texts back with a message none of the girls understand and Elka enters and tells that it says I hate you douche bag.

Elka is on the porch and Will comes back and thanks her for lending her MP3 player. He tells that he was shocked with all the Justin Bieber songs and Elka tells that she really likes “her”. Will laughs and tells that Justin Bieber is a boy to which Elka says that she still doesn’t believe it. Will walks in and asks if Melanie has is phone and she tells that it is hers. He tells that he is going to shower off and Melanie asks for help to get Stephanie back. They tell to say all the things that they wanted to hear. Victoria hears the doorbell and tells that she has the Foundation here. She answers the door fatigued and they tell that she is not limping. They tell that it is the first symptom. Victoria excuses herself and limps away. She gets told that Elka looked it up on Wikipedia and Victoria tells that it is not a reliable source. Joy tells that she will look it up. Victoria limps back in and talks about herself. The doctors ask when she was diagnosed and tells that she should already have facial droopiness, body spasms, and Hysteria. Victoria starts to show all the symptoms at once and enters the kitchen. Joy tells that Goiter. They get another text from Stephanie and she tells that she is sorry. She sends a picture of her breast. Will enters and gets a text form Stephanie again and tells Melanie and Joy that he has been trying to break up with her. Melanie comes clean that she spied into his phone. He tells that he can’t trust her and leaves. Joy tells that Melanie raised a smart boy even though the girl has perky breasts.

Victoria tells that she doesn’t have a goiter because she tells that her vocal chords are highly advanced. He asks which part of her family is Asian and tells that it is only carried through Asian people. She tells that her father is Asian and then tells that she lied so that she could win an Emmy. They are mad but then say that the Foundation have gotten a lot of publicity lately. They agree that Victoria go to the fundraiser and they won’t spread it around that Victoria lied. Will walks up to Joy and she tells that Melanie was trying to make him talk to her. Joy tells that she has been meeting and she doesn’t want to open up because she feels that she will fall apart. Will feels the same and Joy tells that she knows how he feels and that it si not nice to take out the anger out on his mom. Melanie walks up and they start connecting and Will asks why did they take the “A” out of Cleveland? At the restaurant, Melanie tells that everything worked out fine and that she is going to receive a text from Will once a week and thanks Joy. Victoria enters and reveals the goiter on her neck. She rips it off and Elka tells that it must have been horrible. Victoria tells that it was and Elka tells that she was talking to the goiter.

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