One Thing or a Mother - Recap

The scene opens with Elka coming in and saying that she looks sexy and says that she is going out with Roy. Victoria says that she has a date with a hand model. Joy says that she is going out with Lou, but doesn’t know how old he is. Elka says that she should ask him. Melanie says that she is going out with Andy, the kid soccer coach. She says that it is their 12th date and thinks that tonight’s the night. Joy says that she doesn’t know how Melanie could do it and hold out until now. She says that she never could. Elka makes a wise crack and says that Joy never had a 12th date. Later, Victoria is on her date with the hand model, Chad, and he says that he loves his hands and Victoria is happy with them as well. He says that his hands do hand jobs all the time and that is why he is able to pay for the dinner. Victoria is confused with the term and thinks of the other meaning. They get their food and he says that he can’t eat with his hands. He opens his mouth and Victoria feeds him.

Meanwhile, Andy comes in for their date and Melanie takes him strait to her bedroom. Joy is on her date with Lou. She tries to guess his age by asking what music he listened to. However, he says that he was into classical music. She goes up to a waitress and asks how old her date is. She says that she can’t tell. She says that she can tell how old Joy is because white people crack and show their age. Elka goes to Roy’s and he says that they can have an outside picnic instead of an indoor. She asks what he is hiding and suddenly there is a woman’s voice. She says that Roy told her that his wife died. He says that she did and the woman is his mother. She comes out and tells Elka that she reminds her of Roy’s 1st wife. She says that she didn’t like her either. Elka and Roy go back to Elka’s and she tells him that she doesn’t like the fact that his mother doesn’t like her. Roy says that they can sneak around. Roy gets a text from his mother that says that she is having chest pains. He leaves and Victoria comes in from her date too.

She asks what that was about and Elka says that it is his mother. She says that she must be 110 years old. She says that she is next week and Victoria asks if she brought up the Spanish/American War. Elka asks what happened to Victoria and she says that Chad’s car had a flat and to protect his hands, she had to change it. Elka gets a text from Roy’s mother saying that she can fake a heart attack anytime. Joy comes in from her date and says that Lou is impossible to pin down. Upstairs, Melanie and Andy “finish” and he gives Melanie a high-five and says that it was a team effort. She goes along with it. He gets up to get a snack for them and puts on his red shirt and nothing else. He goes downstairs and Joy sees him in the kitchen. Elka says that he looks like Winnie the Pooh. The next day, Melanie comes down and says that it was worth the wait, but he has a habit of wearing a shirt, but no pants. They tell her that they saw him and she laughs and says that she told him that she loved it, but she doesn’t. Joy suggests that Roy can talk to him. They tell Melanie about Roy’s mother and they suggest a cocktail party.

Later they host the party and Chad goes around shaking everyone’s hands. Andy says that he recognized that hand and Chad says that he got a lot of money for that “BJ”. Everyone is confused and Chad says that it was for a Bank Job. He says that he can’t go around saying that he does bank jobs. Melanie tries to guess Lou’s age, but just can’t do it. Chad shakes Joy’s hand and is about to say that she has “man hands”, but wants to be polite. Elka says that he can say it. Andy spills wine on his shirt and says “Oh Bother” and then says that he has his soccer clothes with him. Melanie says that that they can’t laugh everytime Andy says something “Pooh-like”. Roy and his mother show up and Roy asks which one is Pooh Bear. Andy runs by and says that it is cold out there. He is wearing short shorts and a long jersey. Roy knows. Roy introduces his mother to Melanie, Joy and Victoria and she says that Elka can learn a thing or two. Elka is polite and tells Joy that it is just an act.

Roy shakes Chad’s hand and says that it is like shaking hands with a flower. He says thank you and Roy says that it wasn’t a compliment. Roy meets Lou and remembers him from High School. Joy realizes that Lou is the same age as Roy. Elka says that she is bringing out the perogi. They put it out and everyone claps except Chad. He says that he never claps. Roy’s mother has some. She says that it isn’t bad, but hers is better. She tells Roy to get her perogi out of her bag. She tells him to try one and Roy decides to try Elka’s. Roy’s mother says that she is going to faint. Lou says that he is a doctor and tells Joy that he retired 20 years ago. They leave with Roy’s mother and he says that he will call her. Roy tells Andy that the Pooh Bear thing is weird. Andy is offended and leaves.

Victoria tells Chad to leave too because she can’t be with a man who won’t clap for her. However, on his way out, Victoria asks to have a moment with his “hand meat” again. Later that night, Roy tells Elka that he is sorry about the heart attacks that his mother keeps faking and says that it can’t happen with them. She gets inside and the girls talk about the issues that they have with the men that they were with. Elka tells Joy that she thought that Joy didn’t care about age. Joy says that she is going to call Lou. They get “busy” and afterward, Joy tells him that his age is not an issue with her. However, when he takes out his dentures, she starts to have second thoughts. The episode ends.


Written By David Sibert

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