Two Girls and a Rhino - Recap

The scene opens with Victoria doing a report with Elka about two Rhinos not being able to mate and she gets emotional. However, when the cameras are off, she is not emotional. Elka says that the mating ritual for a rhino is important. She doesn’t care. Joy comes in and tells Victoria that she has the liquid to help Victoria cry. She tells Joy that she was forced to cry real tears and says that she has to go and take off the clothespins that are attached to her inner thighs. Joy comes up the Zookeeper says that the male rhino is aroused. They wonder what it is and realize that it is Joy. Victoria says that this is great. She puts her in front of the cameras but the male rhino isn’t aroused. The Zookeeper realizes that it is Elk and Joy’s pheromones that are getting the rhino excited. He asks Joy to stay around for 3 days for the mating ritual. She doesn’t want to, but Elka says that it will be like Christmas.

Melanie gets the news that Joy and Elka are staying at the zoo and she say s that they should visit them. However, they realize that it is Friday night and they are freshly Botoxed. They decide to go man-fishing. Victoria spots two men sitting down and Melanie asks which move they should do and go with: the sip and smile or the hair toss and laughter to get their attention. Melanie and Victoria do the hair flip and laugh and the men see. Melanie says that all they have to do is clean them and bone them. She says that sounded better in her head. Victoria says that she has Dibbs on the man in a ironic worker shirt. Melanie says that is not fair because it is probably correct that they already called Dibbs on them. Victoria says that men don’t care who they get. The two men come over and tell them that they heard it all. They laugh. Back at the zoo, Elka tells Joy that this isn’t the first time that they were behind bars together. Joy doesn’t like it at the zoo and Elka hears the chimpanzee talking to her. She talks back and Joy tells her that she is not Dr. Doolittle.

Back at the restaurant, the men introduce themselves as Scott and Buddy. Scott says that he is a State Senator and Buddy says that he is a janitor. Victoria spills her martini when she hears this and Buddy cleans it up. Melanie smiles to the fact that she scored in this pick. The next day at the zoo, Joy is hungry and Elka tells her that she had some Fig Newtons, but she says that she didn’t feel like it. Melanie and Victoria come in the zoo and Melanie tells them that she is dating a Senator. Victoria says that she is dating a Jazz singer and Tri-athlete. However, she leaves out that he is a janitor until pressed. Melanie says that she and Scott stayed up all night talking. Victoria says that she can’t date a janitor. However, she says that she can do it just like her character did in the Lifetime movie. Melanie gets a text from Scott and it is a picture of his private parts. He calls her and tells her that his email got hacked. Joy tells Melanie that she is going to have to go through his phone and see if the picture is on it. Joy sees that in the back of the wiener picture is a container of $1,300 beauty crème. Elka says that is crazy and says that they would be more attractive if they taped $1,300 to their face as well.

Scott and Melanie are at dinner and Melanie calls Joy and asks how to see the pictures. She tells her how to do it and Melanie sees that Scott’s phone is wiener-free. She accidentally drops it in Scott’s soup and licks it clean. He comes back and doesn’t suspect a thing. Melanie’s phone is still on and a rhino growls. Scott thinks that it is her stomach. Meanwhile, Victoria and Buddy are kissing and Buddy recognizes Victoria’s detergent. He says that he can recognize any cleaning product. She tells him that she can’t be with him because of the fact that he is a janitor. He says that he understands and leaves. Victoria tries to say that it could work, but it is too late. She even tries to make a last ditch effort to get him back by tossing a crumpled up piece of paper at him. He picks it up and then leaves. Back at Scott’s place, Melanie sees that Scott has the tub of the $1,300 beauty crème. It was his picture that he did send.

At the Zoo, the two rhinos finish and Elka says that she is sad that tonight is their last night. Joy asks what Elka’s deal is with animals and she says that animals just love and that is it. Joy says that she is starving. Elka suggests that she eat the peanuts the kids were throwing at her. She says that she won’t, but she does. The next day, the girls are watching Victoria’s news report and it turns out that Scott resigned after more women came forward of getting the inappropriate texts. Victoria says that the rhino is pregnant and that the baby is to be called “Jelka”. The last story is a lottery winner by the name of Buddy. She realizes that it is the janitor. Melanie realizes that she was close to dating a millionaire. Joy mentions that he is a jazz singer and she realizes that it is a long day. Melanie says that it is cool that they got to save a species. Joy asks if they mate for life. Elka says that Joy will find someone someday. There has to be someone who likes a wine-o. The episode ends.

Written By David Sibert

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