Episode Notes
The episode starts without the normal opening credits. Instead the show begins immediately while the show title is shown, the two main actors who appear, the guest cast, the writers, and then the director. All other normal opening credits are moved to the end. These titles are required by various guild agreements to be shown in the order shown, and generally where they are shown.
Episode Quotes
Dr. House: Great job. Gonna miss you. Want to start missing you as soon as possible.
Dr. Darryl Nolan: You can't go back to practicing medicine.
Dr. House: I don't want to practice medicine. I've decided I want to be an astronaut.
Dr. Darryl Nolan: Well, if you want your state astronaut's license, you're gonna need my recommendation.
Dr. House: Cut your wrists, huh?
Dr. Beasley: Greg, there are certain topics..
Dr. House: Oh, I'm sorry. Is suicide taboo? Gosh, if I've broken a rule on my first day, I will kill myself.
Dr. Beasley: Group's over.
Dr. House: That flew by.
Dr. Beasley: I know you're scheming, working on your next elaborate plan to get out of here. Why don't you put the plan on hold for a few days? See what happens. Just let me do my job. If you prefer private to group, we can do that, maybe try some SSRIs. If you think nothing's working, you can always go back to your schemes.
Dr. House: God, if only you'd said that two minutes ago, before I came out with my new scheme. Now I'm committed. Ha. Get it?
Dr. Darryl Nolan: So your proof of your well-being is that you lied?
Dr. House: Manipulated.
Dr. House: I see you've got some cello in your trunk. And no, that's not a euphemism.
Dr. House: Just open up?
Dr. Darryl Nolan: Just open up. Trust.
Dr. House: Strangers?
Dr. Darryl Nolan: We'll start with strangers then work our way up. If it helps, I find "Hello" to be an excellent icebreaker.
Lydia: You're not gay.
Dr. House: No, but I have to tell intimate secrets to people.
Lydia: Maybe they should be true.
Dr. House: Hadn't thought of that. To be on the safe side, I should probably do both, starting with the fun ones.
Dr. Darryl Nolan: You having fun?
Dr. House: I did connect with one guy. But my propensity for screwing things up overtook me. Then my desire to have fun overcame my propensity.
Dr. House: Who's that woman you were with in the parking lot?
Dr. Darryl Nolan: When you deflect, it's more effective when you're not that transparent.
Dr. Darryl Nolan: Why do you value your failures more than your successes?
Dr. House: My mother caught me masturbating... to pictures of her mother.
Dr. Darryl Nolan: Can we get past these cute deflections?
Dr. House: Successes only last until someone screws them up. Failures are forever.