Rating: 11.88 million

Dr. House: Put it on Dr. Wilson's tab.
Cashier: I don't know who Dr. Wilson is, and we don't have tabs.
Dr. House: Do you know who I am?
Cashier: No.
Dr. House: Good.

Dr. Taub: It could be sickle cell.
Dr. Foreman: Guy's white.
Dr. Taub: Whites can get it.
Dr. House: Come on. We get tennis elbow and all the money. Let them have sickle cell.

Dr. Hadley: You're sure you want us to take out his spleen.
Dr. House: Is that what a "splenectomy" is? I thought it was an ice cream treat. Yuck.

Dr. House: Do you know where Cuddy's sister lives?
Dr. Wilson: You see, this is why I don't answer your urgent pages. Because they're not urgent pages.

Dr. House: I've decided what I'm going to do about Cuddy and Lucas. I'm going to break them up.
Dr. Wilson: Of course.
Dr. House: It's given me a purpose in life. A goal, a raison d'etre.
Dr. Wilson: Albeit a selfish, mean-spirited, childish raison
Dr. House: I think of it more as benevolent.

(to House)
Dr. Wilson: How you manage to elevate your narcissism to beneficence is masterful.

Dr. Wilson: This is a three-hour drive. Have you considered the possibility that this is a vacant address?
Dr. House: Do you think she'd send me to a vacant lot for Thanksgiving dinner?
Dr. Wilson: If she's smart.

Dr. House: Sorry. I can't remember if I mocked you for being a male nurse.
Nurse Jeffrey: I think this counts.
Dr. House: Fair enough.

Dr. House: Sorry to inconvenience you. Dying patients can be so thoughtless.
Dr. Taub: Don't.
Dr. House: Great comeback. Is that Oscar Wilde?

Dr. Chase: Sorry about the nose. And the eye, and the, uh... eyebrow.
Dr. House: Guess I deserved it.
Dr. Chase: Well, if I thought that, I wouldn't be apologized.
Dr. House: Your first slipped?
Dr. Chase: Everybody kept bugging me, asking if I was okay.
Dr. House: So you busted my nose to keep people off your back.
Dr. Chase: Pretty much.
Dr. House: Making people even more worried about you.
Dr. Chase: Maybe. But at least they're not talking to me about it.
Dr. House: Fair enough.
Dr. Chase: Cheers.

House: I've got all my starters back, plus a couple of first-class free agents. I feel like Mike Tomlin.

All sports references, particularly related to American football. The starters on a team are the best players at their positions, the ones who start every game and usually play the most. Free agents are, in pro sports, players who have served their contracts out and are free to both negotiate a better contract and/or sign a contract to play for another team. They are often the most well-paid players in the game.Mike Tomlin was, at the time of the episode's initial airing, the head coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers pro football team, who would clearly be happy he has the players he wants, just like House is.

(holding up the paper which suggests he's gotten an invitation from Cuddy)
House: Peace in our time!

On the eve of World War II, British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain went to Germany to attempt to head off the looming war. He signed agreements with Hitler which he believed would prevent the war from happening. Upon his return, he triumphantly held up the documents and exclaimed, "Peace For Our Time!" (often misquoted as "...in..."), relieving, albeit briefly, concerns that war was about to happen in Europe. In actual fact, Germany subsequently invaded the Sudetenland, Czechoslovakia, and later Poland. Within a year, Europe was at war. It is often cited as an example of wishing to avoid war too much leading to an even worse situation.

James: So I decided I would rather be happy, than smart.

This phrase hearkens back to the classic screwball farce, Harvey, starring Jimmy Stewart:
"Y'know, years ago, my mother used to say to me: 'In this world, Elwood,
you must be Oh so smart, or Oh so pleasant.'Well, for years, I was smart. I
recommend pleasant. And you may quote me."
- Elwood P. Dowd in 'Harvey' -

This episode deals with a problem central to House's own life and existence, which is, when you're massively smarter than everyone else around you, how do you deal with the speed with which everyone else's frustratingly slow thought processes take place? It's like being at the wheel of a Ferrari, and stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic]all the time.... James chose to deal with it by changing vehicles. House deals with it by yelling at all the drivers around him with a bullhorn, telling them how annoyingly slow they are driving. James' solution is more pleasant to others, but deprives the world of the product of his genius.