Private Lives - Recap
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Frankie, a blogger, is at home practicing her vegetarian diet and blogging late into the night. Her boyfriend Taylor gets up and discovers she's blogging about an argument they had. He objects and tells her to quit sharing his life with strangers. As they argue, their neighbor Stuart comes over to complain about the noise. When Frankie comes over, both men notice that Frankie's face is bruised. Stuart thinks Taylor beat her, but they soon realize that she's bleeding from the gums as well.
House is finishing a porn-watching session when Wilson asks him to come speed-dating with him. House is reluctant until Wilson points out that the odds he'll end up with a woman are better than if he sits home watching porn.
As House reads The Golden Bowl in his office, the team brings him Frankie's case. As they wonder if it's a toxin, they debate the merits of privacy, and Taub is for less privacy. House sends Taub and Hadley to check out Frankie's apartment. As they search the place, Hadley points out that Taub likes to keep secrets. They're interrupted when Stuart hears them and comes over. Taub tries to slip out but Hadley lets Stuart in and explains that they're doctors. Stuart complains about the fact that Frankie does composting, which attracts rats. Frankie picks up the rat poison every time Stuart puts some down.
House goes to the bar for the speed dating and discovers that Wilson brought Chase. Chase insists he isn't good looking but House figures that good looks make a big difference to women. When Chase disagrees, House makes a wager and tells Chase to pretend he's unemployed and slow. The speed dating begins and Wilson ends up talking with all of his women about cancer. House finally finds something wrong with every woman he talks to. And Chase can't stop impressing women. The one woman that House starts to make a connection with, who claims to be a police detective who likes puzzles, turns out to be a liar. Chase gets the most phone numbers and has to pay House off.
Taub and Foreman go to see Frankie as she updates her blog and a friend reads it on her own laptop. She insists that she washed her hands to get the rat poison off. As Frankie goes to the bathroom, she insists that posting everything she does keeps her honest. She discovers that her urine is mud-brown and the doctors realize their rat poison diagnosis is wrong.
The team meets for differential to discuss the damaged kidneys. However, House seems more interested in where his porn DVDs disappeared. Wilson claims he returned them to the store so a woman wouldn't see them if he brought her back. He then nervously walks off. House settles on Haff Disease and orders saline and Mannitol treatment.
That night, Wilson comes to House's office and finds him intently looking at his laptop. Wilson notes that Frankie mentions House, who she hasn't seen yet. House is moiré interested in knowing why Wilson only returned two of the porn DVDs and paid for the third so it wouldn't show up on House's bill. When Wilson tries to explain, House says that he found another copy and turns his laptop around to reveal that he's watching it. Wilson is in it as Moon-Man, and he hastily explains that his college roommate was in film. The roommate then incorporated the footage into his porn movie with a different man. Wilson tells House not to tell anyone and House promises that he won't. However, as Wilson leaves, Thirteen pokes fun at him.
Chase is reading Jackie's blog on House's orders to see if he can find something. When Hadley comes in, Chase notes that among her other comments, she talked about a lack of arousal. He then asks Hadley how good-looking he is. Once he convinces her it isn't a pickup line, Hadley says that everyone is a physical person. Chase gets an idea and wonders if her lack of arousal suggests a lack of secretions, indicating Sjogren's. He takes her to a test room and she admits that she's a night owl and being up late doesn't bother her. Frankie can't lie down because of back pain and Chase gets an idea. The next morning, he tells the team he's booked Frankie for heart surgery to deal with a valve image. Sjogren's damaged the heart, accounting for all her symptoms. Her mitral valve is nearly gone, and the cardiac echo confirms his diagnosis.
Chase and Taub explain they can give her a pig valve or a plastic valve. The plastic valve will require anticoagulants which could cause birth defects, while the pig valve will need to be replaced in ten years. Chase knows that Taylor wants kids, because he read it on the blog, and says they'll have to make a decision. When they leave, Frankie wants to post on her blog to get some feedback and Taylor objects. He warns that a lot of his readers are pro-animal rights and will object to her taking a pig valve, but she refuses to give up her lifestyle and insists on posting everything.
Wilson returns to his office and discovers that someone has put up posters of the porn DVD. As he goes to the cafeteria, he discovers that everyone knows about it. Wilson sits with Chase and asks for his help to find something on House. He figures Chase has been around House the longest at work and must have some insight. Chase realizes that the book House is reading can't be The Golden Bowl because it's not large enough, and he's not using his reading glasses.
Frankie tells Taylor that she's going with plastic. When she says it's because she doesn't want to get another operation, Taylor disagrees. He figures that now she's more worried about entertaining her readers than connecting people, and says he may leave if she lets her readers make her decision.
Wilson and Chase search House's office and find the book, which contains sermons for everyday life. They have no idea why House would read it, or why he would hide reading it. Wilson tells Chase not to mention it to anyone.
As Frankie goes into surgery, she asks if Taylor will be there. He assures her that he needs to be there to get her through surgery. Frankie suddenly has pain in her side and starts vomiting. They get her back to the room and tell her that her appendix burst, releasing lymphoma cells into her system. The cells are now spread throughout her body and a valve won't work. They inform Frankie that Cuddy has approved an experimental procedural to create a targeted lymphoma vaccine. They hope that it will cure her but they can't provide any guarantees or tell her how long they have. Foreman suggests she might have a year. Taylor promises that he'll be there and Frankie causally tells them to start the treatment. Chase figures that she's in denial and wonders if it's a symptom of lymphoma. He then asks Sandy the nurse if he can borrow her car.
As Chase and Hadley prepare the vaccine, Chase tells her that Sandy turned over her car keys. He figures he's been deluding himself that he's connecting with people. Hadley says that the first man she fell in love with was a manipulative jerk, and it takes time to learn what people are really like.
House arrives home and discovers Wilson reading the book. When House tries to lie his way out of it, Wilson doesn't believe him and wonders if he's looking for something to deal with the pain now that he's off of Vicodin. House simply says to trust him, takes the book, and leaves.
When House arrives at the office the next day, he discovers that everyone has copies of the book. Chase informs his boss that Hadley is giving Frankie her third injection of the vaccine. He admits he contacted the author to get copies of the book, and House wonders if the man mentioned him. Before they can pursue the matter, Frankie's temperature spikes due to reaction to the vaccine. They inform Cuddy, who tells them to stop the treatment. When Hadley mentions that Frankie was sleeping during the day, House realizes something is wrong and checks the blog. The posting dates show that Frankie used to post during the days, but now she posts in the evenings. Day-night reversal suggests liver damage and House tells them to biopsy her liver.
Once the team checks the results, they explain that her appendix was filled with cells similar to lymphoma, but they don't know what caused the buildup. Now she's dying quicker than they thought, and she only has four days at most. Frankie becomes angry and then cries as Taylor holds her.
Back in differential, the team wonders if the fever is a new symptom. They figure it indicates a fever but there's nothing in her blog that would indicate how she became infected. They begin a broad-spectrum antibiotic treatment and House lurks in his office trying to come up with a solution. Wilson comes in with the book and realizes that the photo on the back jacket is of House's biological father, a minister. When Wilson wonders why House doesn't just go to talk to the man and find out what he's like. He wonders how House could consider build a new worldview on what he considers crap, and House gets an idea.
House goes to see Frankie and asks about her bowel movements, the one thing she never discussed in her blogs. She has Whipple's Disease, which accounts for all the symptoms. She'll still need the heart valve and medication, but she'll be okay. Taylor and Frankie embrace, and Frankie agrees to take the pig valve. Taylor gives her the laptop and tells her to go ahead, and Frankie starts posting about what happened.
In the changing room, Chase and Hadley discuss the merits of face-to-face contact. Chase wonders if it's all superficial and people just fill in the blanks, and Hadley wonders if it's about Cameron. He wonders if he was just filling in the blanks and there were no real feelings, but Hadley insists they both felt something real. He asks to borrow her car and she refuses.
As House leaves, Wilson approaches him and wonders why House simply read the book. He figures House wanted to know how the minister thinks, and find someone like him. House neither confirms nor denies, and admits that all he found was a bunch of God stuff. As they leave, they walk out past a poster of Wilson from the movie, mounted on the lobby wall.