On the day of her wedding, Nicole waits nervously outside the chapel until her father Henry arrives to take her up the aisle. He asks if she's sure she wants to get married, and Nicole insists that Ted is a great guy. They go inside and the reverend begins the ceremony. When he asks Ted if he says, "I do," Ted freezes up, seemingly unable to speak. He then collapses in pain.
Wilson and Sam are sleeping together. When he tries to start something, she warns that House is in the next room. Wilson insists that House is asleep and won't disturb them. Meanwhile, House wakes up… in a next-door neighbor boy's bedroom. The boy's parents call the police, who escort House back to the condo and a very surprised Wilson.
When House arrives at work, he tells Cuddy that he was drinking the previous night. She wonders if he's okay, and House insists he's fine. Cuddy wants him in the clinic but Chase arrives with Ted's case. House ducks out and checks on Ted, who is apparently suffering from asphasia. They turn up nothing, but House jabs Ted with a syringe, startling him into talking. Ted insists that he couldn't speak, but House figures that he's faking to get out of the wedding. Taub isn't convinced, and House discusses Taub's recent attempt at an open marriage. Taub responds by inviting House out to dinner, saying that Rachel will let him sine she's grateful to Taub for not having an affair. House agrees, but only if Rachel comes along. Taub quickly caves and agrees to bring her along.
As Ted is released, he tells Nicole that they should get married. She agrees but he starts coughing and then collapses. The team checks him and discovers he has a plural effusion in the lungs. That would account for the aphasia and the collapse, and they rule out infection and parasites. House tells the team to rule out everything themselves. He sends Taub and Thirteen to check out Ted's former apartment for environmental factors.
Taub and Thirteen break into the apartment and Taub is eager to leave. Thirteen notes he's more nervous than usual, and figures he's lying when he claims that he called off the affair with Maya. They discover that the ceiling has asbestos tiles, but the owner, Cotter, comes in. He tells them the tiles have been tested for asbestos and are clean, and that he and Ted were lovers.
When the team talks to Ted, he insists that he isn't gay. He claims that Cotter had a crush on him. Taub notes that Ted has mono and they figure that his immune system is compromised. If he's had any unprotected sex, he's at risk. When Ted refuses to be tested, they threaten to tell Nicole and he admits there may have been some contact. He agrees to be tested as long as they don't tell Nicole.
As they run the tests, Chase insists that he doesn't see a problem with it, but Thirteen thinks Ted shouldn't be lying. Taub figures they're subtly about the lying in his relationship. The test for HIV turns up negative. Thirteen goes to see Ted and asks how he overcame his homosexual feelings. He finally says that he went to a rehabilitation test and was given emetics and male hormones, followed by electroshock treatment. House orders an EEG to see if they did any damage to Ted's brain.
Taub meets House for dinner and claims that Rachel had a pottery class. House has already anticipated him lying and texted Rachel while pretending to be Taub. He tells Taub that he's still having the affair and Taub confesses, but asks House not to say anything. Rachel comes over and House bows out, saying he has a pottery class. He then says that Taub is in a pottery class on Friday's, and she should join him.
Nicole asks Thirteen why they're testing for head trauma, and she wonders what happened. Thirteen tells her to ask Ted. As she goes in, Ted has a heart attack. In differential, the team confirms the EEG showed no abnormalities. They try to determine what would stop Ted's house, and Taub admits he found a ceramic class in Trenton that was full so that Rachel couldn't join him. House reminds him that he needs to find some pottery. As the team goes to run tests, Thirteen invites him to a new lesbian bar. House realizes that Wilson is setting up and confronts him. Wilson admits that he's doing it because he thinks House is feeling lonely now that Wilson is with Sam. House figures he's doing it for selfish reasons. When Wilson admits it, House accepts but warns it isn't going to work.
When Ted wakes up, Nicole asks him about his head trauma. He claims he fell of a stepladder. Thirteen and Taub arrive to administer tests, but when he sits up, he passes out and falls back down. When Ted wakes up, he sits back up, faints, and collapses again. House concludes he has POTS, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, which causes him to pass out when he sits up, altering his blood pressure. POTS accounts for the rest of his symptoms. House orders them to test and then notes that the ceramics class is doing a Fourth of July theme and Taub has to make sure he has the appropriate fake pottery.
Cotter comes to visit Ted, bringing his favorite candy. Nicole is surprised to see him and asks why he wasn't at the wedding. Cotter explains that he wasn't invited because he and Ted had a falling-out when they were roommates. When Cotter starts crying, Nicole realizes what's going on and orders him out. When Ted wakes up, Nicole confronts him with what she knows. Ted eventually admits that he got drunk one night and Cotter took advantage of him, and that he was very confused. However, he insists that he isn't gay but thought he was for a while. Then he got help and the treatment caused the head trauma. Ted insists it doesn't matter any more, and then has sudden headaches.
Taub tells House about the headaches, but House wonders if he's been using proper protection with Maya. House orders a spinal tap to test for infection and Taub leaves.
At the lesbian bar, House and Thirteen discuss honesty and homosexuality, and she figures that Ted isn't being honest. House thinks it's similar to Taub and his affair, but Thirteen doesn't believe it. House gets a call from Taub, who confirms that the tests for infection are negative. When he hears the news, House realizes that the spinal tap is leaking cerebral-spinal fluid, causing the headaches. He tells them to patch the leak and inject artificial CSF, and then watches as a woman buys Thirteen a drink.
Chase and Taub seal the leak caused by the spinal tap, while Ted tells Nicole that everything will be okay. However, Ted has a seizure which appears similar to a stroke. They report to House that they've eliminated POTS. House asks Taub if he's bought any pottery, and Taub admits that he got some online after winning a bidding war for some clay napkin rings with some idiot. House reveals he's the idiot. House says they should talk to all three of them to get at the truth. As they go, Chase tells House that he and Foreman are the next ones to take House out for the night.
Thirteen and Taub talk to Ted, Cotter, and Nicole. Cotter relates an incident where Ted passed out after a single drink. Nicole admits that Ted has been having erectile dysfunction issues recently, but Cotter says Ted never had problems with him. Thirteen suggests a penile blood flow test to determine if there's a circulatory problem. She offers him a chance of magazines, male and female, but Ted prefers to take a painful shot.
Chase and Foreman take House to a karaoke bar and perform Midnight Train to Georgia
. Afterward, House admits that he's enjoying himself.
Ted tests negative for erectile dysfunction, and notice what at first appears to be sweat. However, they discover that he's lactating. Back in differential, the team wonders if the hormone treatment screwed up his thyroid, or he has a benign tumor on the pituitary. House takes a hesitant drink from his cup of coffee and then tells them to start testing.
Wilson comes to see House and asks if he had fun. House admits that he realized Chase and Foreman could be his friends but then he sobered up. Wilson doesn't believe it, and figures he doesn't want to change. When House talks about the difference between knowing what can and can't be changed, he gets an idea.
Taub confirms that Ted's pituitary is normal, as House goes to see Ted. House lifts up Ted's head on his neck, giving him relief, and explains that he has a chiari malformation of the skull. It caused blockage of CSF, but not enough to be a problem until the ECT treatment caused the brain to swell, putting pressure on the pituitary and causing the remainder of his symptoms. It mimics POTS, but treatment for POTS just made his condition worse. Surgery will fix the malformation, which is congenital.
After the surgery, Cotter comes to see Ted and tells him that he's making a mistake and hurting Nicole. Ted insists that he loves Nicole and tells Cotter to go. Nicole comes to see him and he starts planning their wedding. However, she hesitates even though she loves him and he loves her. Nicole figures that Ted still loves Cotter, but Ted insists that he isn't gay. He chooses how to live his life, and he's made his choice. Nicole makes her choice, kisses him gently, and leaves.
Taub arrives and admits to House that he called off the affair. He plans to handle it one day at a time, and then gives House the napkin rings for thanks. Taub figures that House was trying to save his marriage. House puts the rings down and walks away.
Cuddy visits House and invites him out for supper. She offers to pay, and insists that Wilson didn't ask her to take pity on House. He refuses and she says that she just wants them to be friends. House tells her that's the last thing he wants them to be. Once she leaves, House rubs at his leg, considers his bottle of Ibuprofen… and then pours himself a shot of alcohol. Share this article with your friends