Dr. House: Is that a pill in your pocket, or are you just happy to have a tiny pill-shaped penis?

Dr. House: So I hope I didn't weird you out giving you that gift.
Dr. Cuddy: Can we talk about this later?
Dr. House: Of course. Is now later?

Hanna: Can I ask what's wrong with your leg?
Dr. House: Crane fell on it. Small world.
Hanna: You could have just said no.
Dr. House: I'll remember that for my next human contact.

Hanna: Would you pray with me?
Dr. House: No. I'm not in the habit of encouraging my patients' superstitions.
Hanna: How is that a habit? You plan on getting trapped under a building again?
Dr. House: I don't believe in God.
Hanna: I don't either.

Hanna: I always thought... if I did the right thing, if I treated people right, then good things would happen to me. You think that's how it works?
Dr. House: I didn't use to. Then recently I tried... now I don't know.

Hanna: You think we could be friends when I get outta here?
Dr. House: Sure. We'll catch a ball game or... group sex show or something.

Dr. Cuddy: What are you clinging to, House? You're gonna risk her life just to save her leg? Really worked out well for you, didn't it? What do you have in your life, honestly? Tell me. I'm moving on. Wilson is moving on. And you... you've got nothing, House. Nothing.

Dr. House: You asked me how I'd hurt my leg. I had a blood clot, and the muscle was dying. And I had all these doctors telling me I should amputate, and I said no, and they did this... very risky operation. I almost died.
Hanna: But you saved your leg.
Dr. House: I wish I hadn't. They cut out a chunk of muscle about the size of my fist, and they left me with this mutilated, useless thing. I'm in pain... every day. It changed me. Made me a harder person. A worse person. And now... now I'm alone.You don't want to be like me.

Dr. House: We thought the problem was in his toilet--by that, of course, I mean his head. Which distracted us from the fact that it could have been just a clog in his sewer pipe. And by that of course, I mean his spinal cord. And blah, blah, blah, blah. You get the idea.

Dr. Cuddy: I'm stuck, House. I keep wanting to move forward. I keep wanting to move on, and I can't. I mean, my new house, with my new fiance, and all I can think about is you. I just need to know if you and I can work.
Dr. House: You think I can fix myself?
Dr. Cuddy: I don't know.
Dr. House: 'Cause I'm the most screwed-up person in the world.
Dr. Cuddy: I know. I love you. I wish I didn't. But I can't help it.