Political consultant Joe Dugan runs a sample ad for his boss, New Jersey Senator Hal Anderson, pointing out his opponent's pro-immigration stance. Hal isn't eager to run the ad, but Joe tells him that he has no choice. As they talk, Joe scratches his arm and realizes that he has something more serious than a rash on his arm...Read the full recap
Dr. Cuddy: What is that smell? Is it onions? Peppers? Oh, I know... it's a sausagefest.
Dr. House: Sausagefest implies multiples. Now, if you're talking about yardage, I'd have to agree.
Dr. House: Just because my sausage has been filling your bun doesn't mean you get to decide what flavor chips I nosh on during the day.
Dr. Cuddy: Nope, I get to do that because I'm your boss.
Dr. House: Black guy campaigning for the opposition? Does Obama know about this?
Dr. Foreman: I tried calling him on the brother hotline. He didn't pick up.
Dr. House: Martha M. Masters. I'm Dr. House. This is the rest of the team. Boring, Bimbo, and Bite-Size. Martha enjoys quadratic equations, Italian frescoes, and her turn-ons include learning to be a doctor.
Martha Masters: It's my favorite constant.
Dr. House: She's like the Internet with breasts. Oh, no, wait--the Internet has breasts.
Dr. House: E coli is found in animals. So unless he's drinking pork cider... pork cider! I need the number of the patent office.
Dr. House: How mad would you be if I fired Masters?
Dr. Cuddy: Very. Unless you had cause. Real cause. Cause that a human being would consider cause.
Dr. House: Never mind, then.
Dr. Taub: This whole "Taub's an old man" thing kinda rings hollow, given I'm in better shape than you are. Pass the dye.
Dr. Foreman: You're in rounder shape than me.
Dr. Taub: Tonight after work, meet me at the basketball court in the gym.
Dr. Foreman: You do realize you're two and a half feet tall, right?
Dr. Taub: And white, and Jewish. It'd be very embarrassing. I get why you'd want to say no.
Dr. House: Our patient's liver, kidneys, and lungs are failing. I need you to help me figure out why.
Martha Masters: As I recall, you have three actual doctors you haven't fired today.
Dr. House: They're in jail.
Martha Masters: What? Why?
Dr. House: Prostitution.
Dr. Cuddy: You'll figure something out. The two of you have a combined IQ north of 300
Dr. House: That's also true of five morons.
Hate to steal the spotlight from Small Wonder over here.
was a syndicated TV series about an android child who tries to blend into a normal human family and become more human.
Dr. House: She's like the love child of Einstein and Mary Poppins.
Mary Poppins is the magical nanny created by P.L. Travers who flies using an umbrella and visits children to teach them and their families valuable life lessons.
Dr. Taub: Things have been just fine without Pippi Longdivision.
Pippi Longstocking is the superstrong nine-year-old heroine of a series of books by Astrid Lindgren.