Dr. House: Picture a door. Unlocked with the key of the mind. Two medical cases, both more fascinating than the last.
Masters: That actually makes no logical sense.
Dr. House: This is not a door to logical sense. Also, shut up.

Masters: What about a tutor?
Dr. Taub: I don't need a tutor.
Dr. House: Tutor it is. Choose your poison. Chase, if you prefer pounding Aussie beers and commiserating over the suckiness of divorce. Masters, if you want nervous energy, flash cards, and obnoxious pieces of arcane trivia. Foreman, if you need to be berated by a humorless hard-ass.
Dr. Taub: Foreman.
Dr. House: Interesting. You must be more worried than you look.

Dr. Taub: I'm totally fine. I aced my first pathology boards.
Dr. Foreman: Medicine's come a long way in the last hundred years.

Dr. Wilson: Sarah would have been destroyed at the shelter.
Dr. House: Aww, who wouldn't want a cat that croaks if you're not at home twice a day to shoot it up?

Dr. House: Masters, when you finally blossom into a woman, would you ever sleep with a man who had a cat?
Masters: Sure.
Dr. House: Wrong, the answer is no. Slut.

Dr. Foreman: You're nothing but excuses and distractions.
Dr. Taub: Well, it's a nice match with your condescension and superiority.

Dr. Foreman: Why are you giving me these?
Dr. House: Because, while they're all running all these tests, you will be submitting the insurance forms.
Dr. Foreman: There's an entire department for that.
Dr. House: Exactly. The Foreman Department. Of which you are the foreman, Foreman.

Dr. House: Picture a door. Unlocked with the key of the mind. Two medical cases, both more fascinating than the last.

House recites his monologue in the same style as Rod Serling introducing The Twilight Zone series.

Dr. Wilson: Release the Kraken.

The Kraken is the Greek monster featured in the 1981 movie Clash of the Titans and the 2010 remake. A character in each movie states this line, and it was featured heavily in the promotions for the remake.

Dr. House: Like having your own button on Lost.

On the TV show Lost's second season, the survivors find the Swan Station and are told that the Numbers have to be entered and a button pushed, or bad things will happen. The survivors take on the duty, but eventually when they fail, a huge electromagnetic charge is sent out across the island.

Dr. Foreman: Kevin Spacey is Keyser Soze.

Foreman is referring to The Usual Suspects (1995), where Spacey's character, "Verbal" Kint, is a secret criminal mastermind called Keyser Soze.

Dr. Taub: Like kind of a... Mod Squad thing.

[i]The Mod Squad was a 60s TV series about three teen criminals recruited by the police to go undercover among youth groups and gangs. The joke here is that Omar Epps starred in the 1999 theatrical remake.

Dr. House: So, I want to hear all the dirty, dairy-specific details of your night with Java the Slut.

Jabba the Hutt is a large sluglike alien crime lord seen in Star Wars in Return of the Jedi (1983).