Recession Proof - Recap

Bert Vesky is cleaning up a crime scene for the police, mopping up the blood. As he works, Bert gets a call from his wife, Diane. He tells her that his real estate development meeting at the office is running late and that he’ll meet her for dinner when he’s done. After finishing up, Bert goes to the restaurant and sits down with Diane. The waiter brings over live sushi and Bert eats it on a dare and then offers a toast to their marriage. However, he starts to choke and then collapses as a rash spreads over his hands.



Cuddy notices House trying to avoid her and chases after him. After a brief game of hide-and-seek, she corners him in the elevator and insists that he’s going to the charity gala the coming Friday, where she’s getting an award. He smirks and tells her that he already RSVPed, and that he’s just toying with her as foreplay. House then goes to the conference room, where Foreman is complaining that Taub, his new roommate, is wearing one of his ties. The team suggests an allergic reaction, but House notes that the tests have all been negative. When they discuss Bert’s history as an executive, Masters points out that their patient has calluses, meaning that he’s not just working as an executive. Impressed, House tells her that she’s grown up and realized that people lie, and then asks her how the confrontation with their patient went. Masters admits that she hasn’t called Bert on his lie yet and House sends her to do so. He tells her to pick one of the team to go with her, and she chooses Chase.

When Chase and Masters visit Bert, Diane is with him. Masters tries to get her out of the room without revealing that her husband is a liar, but that doesn’t work. Chase lying that they want to ask Bert about his bowel movements does work and Diane leaves. Confronted with their knowledge, Bert asks them not to tell anyone. Masters hesitates but Chase immediately agrees, and Bert explains that he lost his job in the recession. He’s been lying to Diane to keep her from worrying, and has been taking jobs as a janitor and cleaning technician to make ends meet.



The duo informs the others, and Foreman suggests that Bert picked up something at the crime scene. House isn’t convinced and tells Foreman and Taub to check out Bert’s old office, since he still goes there when he’s pretending he has a job there to fool Diane. As House goes to see Cuddy to have her get the autopsy report in case the victim had a communicable disease, he runs into Wilson. House’s friend doesn’t believe his claim that he’s going to the charity gala to be nice, and bets House $100 that he’ll skip the gala. House points out that Wilson is trying to get him to go, and Wilson doubles and then triples the bet. House finally figures that Cuddy set the whole thing up to make sure that he goes.

At Bert’s old office, now closed, Taub and Foreman find a bottle of Vicodin and a closet filled with cleaning supplies. Back at the hospital, the team theorizes that Bert was contaminated by the boric acid in the supplies. As Masters and Chase check him for contamination, Bert’s temperature rockets up and they just manage to stabilize him before he suffers brain damage. Back in differential, the team confirms that there’s no sign of boric acid in Bert’s system, and the autopsy of the crime scene victim shows no indication of communicable diseases. House checks the Vicodin and confirms that it’s real, but notes that an overdose wouldn’t account for Bert’s symptoms. However, meningococcemia would, and House has Chase and Masters administer a lumbar puncture to confirm the diagnosis. As they go, he tells Masters to find out what else Bert is lying about to them.



In Bert’s room, Chase tells Bert that they need the complete truth if they hope to find a cure for his illness. Bert explains that he took the Vicodin to handle the pain of manual labor, and admits that the financial situation is even worse than he told them initially. He’s maxed out their credit cards and taken a second mortgage on the home. Masters is clearly disgusted with his behavior, and Bert asks if they’ve ever lied in a relationship. Chase admits that he has, and that it didn’t work out well.

House visits Wilson and claims that he wants to make the charity gala “fun” for Cuddy and give her something to remember. Wilson doesn’t believe him and figures that he’s looking for a way to ruin it for Cuddy. House gets up and walks out.

As the team works in the lab to check the LP for meningococcemia, Taub suggests to Foreman that they go out for dinner. Foreman refuses, and Taub keeps pushing until his roommate admits that he has a date. Masters and Chase work on the test, and Masters figures that Chase is mad at her because she’s advising truth in a relationship, and he doesn’t pursue meaningful relationships or respect women. He points out that at least he has relationships. As they confirm that the LP tests are negative for meningococcemia, Bert’s legs start to swell. Once they stabilize him to reduce the swelling and prevent infection, the team goes back into differential and come up with serum sickness as a diagnosis. House is more interested in the charity gala, and insists that they all go. Foreman figures that he just wants them there as witnesses once he messes up Cuddy’s award ceremony. House simply tells them to treat for serum sickness with steroids and walks away.



As they leave for the night, Taub admits that he’s been keeping an eye on Foreman, and figures that he’s given up his date because of House’s orders to be at the gala. When Foreman snaps at him, Taub admits that his wife has finally linked up in real life with her online boyfriend. Foreman agrees to hang out it with him. Taub makes dinner and then plays video games, but Foreman realizes that he’s throwing the game to keep Foreman interested. Taub insists that he’s trying to get Foreman to lighten up, and Foreman angrily notes that Taub has ruined his own relationship with his wife. As they talk, Foreman clutches at his stomach and then runs to the bathroom. Taub insists that it wasn’t his cooking... and then has stomach pains himself.

At the hospital, Bert hits Diane in the face and then locks himself in the bathroom. Masters and Chase try to get the door open, while their patient hallucinates. They finally get him out and the team meets again. Chase informs them that Bert’s hallucinations stopped once the steroids cleared his system. Foreman and Taub are both there, but Foreman has to run to the restroom because of Taub’s dinner the previous night. Taub goes after him and they both end up on toilets. House hauls Chase and Masters into the restroom and continues the differential. Chase suggests a fungal infection, and Masters points out that their saline storage could have concealed it on the tests. House agrees and tells them to check Bert and Diane as well.



Masters and Chase test Bert for fungus and Masters points out that if their patient had been honest, they might have figured out what he had much sooner. Chase objects to the discussion, saying that Bert’s honesty isn’t relevant to their treatment. When Diane arrives, they tell her that they also need to test her for fungal infection. When she wonders how she and Bert could both have been infected and no one else, Masters can’t bring herself to lie. Chase does so, trying to make excuses, but Bert tells them that he wants to speak to Diane in private.

Wilson hears mariachi music coming from House’s office and investigates. House is auditioning a band, and explains that he plans to have a band perform at the charity gala. Wilson figures he’s trying to sabotage it, but House insists that Cuddy likes mariachi music and that he’s paying $2,000 for the band to play.



As Chase and Masters watch Bert talk to Diane, Masters figures that the truth is the best course. However, Diane storms out of the room and is angry that Bert told the truth to everyone except her. She tells the duo to tell Bert that she’s done with him and leaves. The alarms go off as Bert’s temperature goes up again, and they run into the room. When they try to talk to him, Bert says that he’s going deaf.

Back in differential, Masters and Chase tell the others that they’ve confirmed that Bert has no signs of fungal infection. They argue over the diagnosis, and House calls on Taub and Foreman, who are ignoring each other. Foreman figures that the infection has reached Bert’s brain, accounting for the symptoms, and House tells them to test for a tumor. As the others leave, Taub tells Foreman that he’s going to move out. Foreman coldly tells him to turn over his key and walks away.

Over lunch, Wilson asks Cuddy if she’s worried about House sabotaging the gala, and hints that he might bring in a mariachi band. Cuddy admits that House will try something, but says that she actually would like a mariachi band there, and has never been able to get the hospital to pay for it.

As Masters and Chase put Bert in the MRI to check for the tumor, Bert asks if Diane is coming back and Masters writes out that she hasn’t yet. Chase advises her to go easy on Bert, but she insists that she’s not going to lie to protect Bert’s feelings. Their patient has a seizure and they confirm that his kidneys are fried. Bert is now in a coma and only has a few days left. In his condition, he won’t get a transplant or survive the surgery if he was approved. House figures it’s a tumor and orders chemo, which will kill him if they’re wrong. When the team objects, House notes that he’s dying anyway. When Taub says that they need Diane’s consent, House tells Masters to get it by herself.



Chase goes to watch Masters ask Diane, and she asks if he likes her. Masters admits that she put relationships on hold to study, but she can’t get a date now that she wants to establish a relationship. She wonders if she’ll be able to do it with a patient if she can’t do it in her personal life. Chase tells Masters to be honest with Diane, and start with hope. Masters follows Chase’s advice, insisting that there’s still hope, and Diane asks if Bert can still hear her. Realizing full well that Bert can’t, Masters lies and says he can. Diane asks for a moment alone and then tells the comatose Bert that she’s pregnant. She gets no response, but stares in horror as the rash spreads across Bert’s face again.

Back in differential, House tries to figure out what triggered the rash the two times. House realizes that Bert was cold at the crime scene and in the MRI, and that Bert has Muckle-Wells Syndrome that was trigged by low temperatures. He tells them to treat with rilanocept, but Bert seizes and dies before they can administer the medicine.



Later, Wilson comes to see House and asks if he’s okay. House seems satisfied that he solved the case, even if the patient died. Wilson admits that he’s grown cynical, and tells House to get ready for the party.

In the locker room, Foreman tells Taub that he doesn’t have to move out, and that Taub was right about how he was cutting himself off from others. In response, Taub admits that Foreman was right about his marriage, and they figure that they’re good.

Chase meets Masters in the lobby, and Chase admits that he’s going solo. Foreman and Taub arrive and they go together.

Later, House is drinking at a bar, alone. His cell phone rings but he ignores it. Wilson tracks him down and House admits that he’s lost patients because he screwed up. He insists that love and happiness are distractions, and his relationship with Cuddy has made him a worse doctor. Wilson warns that Cuddy is worried and upset that House didn’t show up, and House leaves to tell her the truth. When Wilson tries to stop him, taking his car keys, House says that he’ll walk to her apartment and leaves.



Sometime later, Cuddy answers the door and finds House on her doorstep. She tells him to go home until he sobers up, but House says that being in love with her makes him a crappy doctor. He insists that she’s making him a worse doctor and people will die because of that... but she’s worth it. House passes out in her lap as Cuddy tells him to go to sleep.



Share this article with your friends