Dr. Taub: Sure, some people will screw up anything, but some won't. That kind of cash, he has a chance to turn a miserable life around.
Dr. House: Miserable stays miserable. Happy doesn't buy lottery tickets in the first place.
Dr. Hadley: Our level of happiness is set. It's in our DNA. No cash payout's gonna change that.
Dr. House: It's like there's two of me.
Dr. Cuddy: My mother's lawyer called. She's threatening to sue the hospital over our mistreatment of her. Says it slowed her recovery.
Dr. House: You know, I was just thinking how much I want a relationship with no sex, but where I still have to deal with your mother.
Dr. Cuddy: My mom and I got into a fight, Because of our replacement hip replacement, she can barely get around her own house. I told her she has to live with me while she recovers.
Dr. House: Oh, I'm starting to get the connection. Yeah, she has a house. My name is House.
Dr. Cuddy: You're the doctor that treated her, that illegally switched her meds after she fired you, that went behind the back of her actual doctor.
Dr. House: Those beads from Thailand. If we're listing all the things that you pressured me into.
Dr. Hadley: She won't let us make a move until you agree to a sit-down with the Godmother and her consigliere.
Dr. House: Bitch to King Four.
Dr. Taub: Checkmate. Patient can't use his leg. You have to concede.
Dr. House: Or I could just knock all the pieces onto the floor.
Dr. House: What are you doing? We got a patient with a walking disorder, who can't seize. No, wait. I'm close, though, aren't I?
Dr. Cuddy: No clinic hours for the next quarter.
Dr. House: Yeah, three parking spots, next to each other, so I can park diagonally. And three pairs of your underwear. I'm thinking of taking up sailing.
Dr. Cuddy: Treat your patient, don't treat your patient. Come to the meeting, don't come to the meeting. I'm done playing your game.
Dr. House: You realize the game is automatically over when the loser loses, right?
Dr. Cuddy: He is being an ass. if I could join you in suing him...
Dr. House: She's like this in bed, too. Always scheming to get the lawyers out of the room.
Dr. House: Down on the patient's romance because your own lifespan is shorter than dinner and a movie?
Dr. Hadley: You're the one who said miserable stays miserable.
Dr. House: You keep saying it. Several times a day.
Dr. Hadley: I love being back, having every theory you and I share used as proof of my own personal damage.
Dr. House: I'm happier without her. I'm not stupidly expecting her to make me happy. I'm happier with my unhappiness.
Dr. Wilson: Do you listen to what you're saying? Because I have to.
Dr. Hadley: I think if she said yes after 14 hours, even he'd be suspicious.
Dr. Taub: You're lucky you're hot and smart, because... well, you're just lucky you're hot and smart.
(trying to relax, his legs over his head yoga-style)
Dr. Foreman: I need a hooker.
Dr. House: Not if you can make that work.
Dr. Foreman: Chase has had his eyes on this one for months.
Dr. Taub: Meaning... he has eyes?
Dr. Foreman: I paid her $100. When he hits on her--might be tonight, might be next week--she's going to slap him and storm off.
Dr. Taub: So your plan is to prove you're both full of crap all in one move.
Dr. House: You lost your mother. You euthanized your brother. You got the life expectancy of a pretty good sitcom. If you can convince yourself that you'd be miserable no matter what even without all that stuff, then maybe you don't have to hate the universe for dumping a giant turd on you. Fatalism is your survival mechanism.
Dr. Hadley: And you? Dumped by everyone you've ever loved. Rehab was a bust. Your leg feels like somebody took a giant bite out of it. We are who we are. Lotteries are stupid.
Dr. House: And I'm not just saying that 'cause I'm scared you'll turn green and rip through your own clothes.
In the Marvel comic classic, The Incredible Hulk is the alter-ego of Bruce Banner, who transforms into the hulk when he becomes angry or enraged.
Dr. Wilson: You had to go all Wile E. Coyote on me.
Wile E. Coyote is the sympathetic antagonist to the Road Runner in the Warner Brother cartoons.
Dr. Taub: As opposed to the same, Starfleet-issued tunic?
Starfleet is the military organization found in all of the Star Trek series in one form or another.