Dr. Wilson: You know that just because I was right about this one fighter doesn't make you any less than a man.
Dr. House: Actually, it would if you were right.

Dr. Wilson: If he's ignoring you, it's because he trusts you.
Dr. Foreman: No, it's not.
Dr. Wilson: No, it's not, but he does.
Dr. Foreman: Thanks. I feel all warm inside.

Dr. Taub: Underlying neurological condition exasperated by an acute UTI brought on her sexual escapades.
Dr. Hadley: Slut? Escapade? How do we treat? A scarlet "A"?
Dr. Taub: Sorry. Acute URI brought on her by her healthy enjoyment of her womanhood.

Terry Foley: What the hell?
Dr. House: Don't worry. It's just epinephrine.
Terry Foley: Ep.. is it dangerous?
Dr. House: In the wrong hands, very. So... yeah, sort of.

Dr. House: Compound CS-804. It's an experimental drug that's supposed to regrow muscle.
Dr. Hadley: This experiment was done on rats.
Dr. House: It's groundbreaking. Huge success.
Dr. Hadley: In rats.
Dr. House: Well, they got four legs. Think how fast it should work on one.

Dr. Foreman: Is it possible something got perforated during surgery?
Dr. Taub: Is that an accusation?
Dr. Foreman: Sounded like a question. Just a straightforward inquiry that only someone with serious insecurities would take issue with.
Dr. Taub: Okay, so in answering, I have to decide between the only two possibilities. "No" and "Yes, we might have screwed something up but are intentionally hiding it because we are incompetent and we're asses." Answer is "No." Glad we didn't shortchange that avenue.

Dr. House: What I meant to say was: why don't scientists have groupies? 'Cause I'd do you right now if society wasn't telling me that you're just an underpaid dork.
Dr. Riggin: Thank you.

Dr. House: Leg hurts. Would you mind getting me a coffee?
Dr. Riggin: How does coffee help your leg?
Dr. House: It will prevent me from walking to get the coffee.
Dr. Riggin: Right.