Dr. House: Hey, we were just getting to the good part.
Dr. Chase: Is there a good part? It was performance at.
Dr. House: My doctor says it's okay as long as I don't leave my hospital bed.
Dr. Taub: Which doctor was that--Seuss or J?
Dr. Chase: I'm not gonna watch a woman get set on fire.
Dr. House: Philistine.
Dr. Taub: Nice, cozy home for little Ruben. It's a family name.
Ruby: It's a sandwich.
Dr. Taub: Named for my family.
(winning a bet against Foreman)
Dr. House: Since I’ve seen your paycheck, I probably shouldn’t. Canned beans aren’t so bad... as long as they’re cooked over an oil-drum fire under a bridge with the king of the hobos.
Dr. Foreman: How many of those have you had?
Dr. House: I don't know. Is "your mother" a number?
Dr. Chase: You want us to waste a bed on her?
Dr. House: You took an oath... an oath to be cool. At least that was the one I mumbled under my breath while everyone else was doing the boring one.
Dr. Wilson: You're forging my name on prescriptions again.
Dr. House: No. What you just said implies that I stopped at some point.
Dr. House: You think I have unresolved issues and you are the unresolved issues.
Dr. Cuddy: Yes. but it's--I think more than that. It's your life, your choices.
Dr. House: I did it to fix my life. No, wait, no, I did it because I'm a deeply unhappy person. No--no, I did it to get sympathy from you. I did it to piss you off. I did it because I'm not over you, or I was over you, and I was moving on. I did it because I want to know what it's like not to be in pain. I did it because I want to feel more pain. Whatever the reason, it was a bad reason and a bad idea. That's all that matters. Good lunch.