Episode Quotes
C.O. Alvarez: Get up, House.
Dr. House: Must be some mistake. I specifically requested my wakeup startle three hours from now.
Dr. House: Nice painting. Blues and greens. Calming, but with a hint of nurturing. Totally offsets the stench of suffering and death. Where's my patient? We need to not talk.
Dr. Foreman: Get this straight. You break the law, you go back to jail. Scam extra Vicodin, back to jail. Flout my authority, make the hospital look bad, back to jail. I own you.
Dr. House: Yassa, massa.
Dr. Foreman: See, that would be an example.
Dr. House: Prison! Sorry. I thought I heard everyone else think that. I was in prison, you see. It was a long time ago, but still you're curious. Never was raped, not raped-raped. Well, raped-raped, but not raped-raped-raped. Well, now that we've got that complete behind us.
Dr. Ron Simpson: Sorry, Dr. House. Welcome back.
Dr. House: Is there cake?
Dr. House: Okay, I'll go first. My boss dumped me, and yours what? Called you his china doll? Joked about what a crappy deal you got for Manhattan? Assumed that you had a huge penis? I have no idea what flavor you are, so I thought I'd just cover the spread.
Dr. Park: My mom's Filipino, dad's Korean, and my boss grabbed my behind.
Dr. House: Behind what? Oh, yeah, your--grabbed your tushy.
Mr. Weathers: I told you, my son didn't do cocaine.
Dr. House: Druggies are not known for their honesty. Trust me on this one.
Dr. House: Running away from home is a time-honored tradition. But you're not doing it to flee your parents, you're doing it to protect them. That's an insult to everything teen prostitutes have worked for.
Dr. House: Nice.
Dr. Wilson: What?
Dr. House: Nothing.
Dr. Wilson: Don't start that.
Dr. House: Start what? I'm enjoying our conversation. The repartee.
Dr. Wilson: There was no repartee.
Dr. House: That was repartee.
Dr. Park: I told you I'm Korean and Filipino.
Dr. House: And I told you I wasn't listening. By my actions.
Dr. Wilson: House, the nurses saw you come in.
Dr. House: Enter.
Dr. Wilson: It's a bathroom.
Dr. House: Ah, explains the hole in this chair.
Dr. Park: Why aren't you more alarmed? We're running out of time.
Dr. House: Ahhhh, she's dying! Were you able to figure out what was wrong while I was screaming?
Dr. Park: Did you use metaphors for your old team? Or do you just think I'm particularly stupid?
Dr. House: No, they were stupid too.
Dr. House: But just do whatever you have to do to get over this. Punch me in the face, kick me in the nuts. Either or. Both seems excessive.
Cultural References
Dr. House: Kato. Get Black Beauty and meet me out front.
Kato is the driver of the Black Beauty, a high-tech car with weapons, in The Green Hornet radio serial and subsequent TV, movie, and comic book adaptations.
Dr. House: It's not as bad as a thousand people going down in a gigantic boat, right?
The RNS Titanic sank in 1912. The comments that House makes and the music he plays are from the 1997 movie Titanic.