Dr. Foreman: Dr. Wilson, can I talk to you about something in confidence?
Dr. Wilson: Of course.
Dr. Foreman: It’s about House.
Dr. Wilson:: Oh, then no.
Dr. Cameron: There's even books in the bathroom.
House: She's either very smart or has a severe fiber deficiency.
House: Chase killed that woman and Foreman’s in charge?
Dr. Cuddy: Yeah, we have a pecking order here. If Cameron kills someone, Chase takes over. We have a flowchart in the lobby.
Woman: I didn't want to get pregnant. Jake's not into rubbers, so I got on the jelly. You think I'm allergic or something?
House: You have an infection. Gonna need a sample.
Woman: I brought the jar.
House: No, I meant a sample of your – (sees her holding a jar of strawberry jelly) Okay, we have a neurological problem here.
Woman: There's something wrong with my brain?
House: Oh yeah. You can cover yourself up, got what I need.
House: At the end of ‘The Boy Who Cried Wolf,” the wolf really does come. And he eats the sheep, and the boy, and the parents.
Dr. Chase: The wolf doesn’t eat the parents.
House: It does when I tell it.
House: You probably shouldn’t have sex for a while.
Hailey: For how long?
House: On an evolutionary basis, I’d recommend…forever.
Dr. Cameron: She's got an appointment with her ophthalmologist on Tuesday and an appointment with her gynecologist on Thursday. Multiple appointments with multiple doctors...symptom of Munchausen's.
House: Or, just thinking outside the box here, she has a vagina and trouble reading.
Dr. Cameron: It’s the irony of women in charge, they don’t like other women in charge. What, you think it’s something else?
Dr. Chase: You sabotaged yourself. You went on a date with House, you slept with me. Putting you in charge of this department is like a sexual harassment suit waiting to happen.
Dr. Cameron:Yeah, they’re really worried that I’m going to create a hostile work environment.
Dr. Chase: Maybe that’s the problem. Being in charge means having to say no to House. Would you hire you for that?
Dr. Foreman: What do you expect me to do, House? Quit? Cry?
House: Actually, I expect you to act like what you are - my employee, my subordinate, my bitch.
House: I love the smell of pus in the morning – it smells like victory.
This is a paraphrase of a famous line from the 1979 film Apocalypse Now spoken by Kilgore (Robert Duvall): "I love the smell of napalm in the morning You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for twelve hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like... victory."