House: Did you check the pancreas?
Dr. Wilson: Oh come on – you’re just making up organs now, aren’t you?

(Speaking over a microphone)
Dr. Wilson: House, this is God.
House: Look, I’m a little busy right now. Not supposed to talk during these things. Got time on Thursday?
Dr. Wilson: Let me check. Oh, I got a plague! How about Friday?
House: I’ll have to check with Cameron.
Dr. Wilson: Oh, that…she always wants to know why bad things happen. Like I’m going to come up with a new answer this time.
Dr. Cuddy: House!
House: Quick, God! Smite the evil witch!

Dr. Wilson: Heard you killed your supermodel.
House: Only for a minute.
Dr. Wilson: Just for my own clarity, how many more patients do you have to kill before you admit this leg thing might be a problem?
House: Three.

Dr. Cuddy: Teenage supermodel. Presented with, um, double vision, sudden aggressive behavior, cataplexy..
House: You had me at Teenage supermodel.

Dr. Wilson: How'd you get here?
House: By osmosis.

House: The perfect woman is in fact a man. Nature's cruel that way.