On the set of Prescription Passion
, Dr. Brock Serling confronts his nurse Marie, who is having his child. He collapses, bleeding at the mouth, but it's all in the script. The actor playing Brock, Evan Greer, is unhappy with the whole thing. He goes out to his limo and driver heads out… then goes the wrong direction. The driver introduces himself as Dr. House, and says he's going to save Greer's life.
House drives to Princeton Hospital where Cuddy is meeting with an accreditation on-site inspector. She quickly disavows House and gets the inspector inside. House confronts Evan and says that he's been slurring his lines in the last two months and figures the actor is having vision problems, which indicate a brain tumor. Evan reluctantly agrees to undergo a vision test.
Cuddy calls a staff meeting to warn everyone about the inspector, then tries to put Foreman, Cameron, and Chase on House-watching duty. Chase refuses, Cameron agrees to do House's backlogged paperwork, and Foreman watches House as part of his team. He goes to see House, who is lying and telling Evan the vision test indicates further MRI testing. Foreman notes that it doesn't, and Evan leaves.
Outside, House runs into Wilson who is having back problems because of Amber's hard mattress. House warns him that Amber is only letting Wilson choose a mattress so she can undermine him. They run into Evan in the elevator and House promptly injects him with a sedative and then has him taken to the MRI imaging chamber. However, no tumors show up on the MRI and Evans threatens to sue for being drugged and tested against his will. House sends Thirteen and Taub to try and calm him down, but it turns out House may have been right when Evan's feet go numb and he collapses in the lobby.
In differential, House believes that a toxin is responsible but Cameron can't resist suggesting some procedure while doing his paperwork. House reluctantly lets Kutner do them. While Kutner tests Evan, the actor complains that he's not happy and that his life is crap. House gets his team into the doctors' lounge to watch recent copies of Prescription Passion
on the high-def TV and try to diagnose Evan's condition. Cuddy is less than thrilled and tries to convince House to behave while the accreditation inspector is present, or it could cost them both their jobs. House is unimpressed and tries to negotiate for the HD TV in return for his good behavior. Cuddy refuses and Kutner checks in to report that Evan's toxicity test proved negative. House stands by his theory and goes to check out Evan's dressing room while Kutner and Taub to check out Evan's house.
Wilson and Amber go to the mattress store where Amber ruthlessly manages to convince the salesman to go cheaper on the deal. However, she then gets a 911 call from her job and tells Wilson to pick whatever mattress he wants. Thrilled, Wilson calls House to boat that he was wrong about Amber manipulating him. House doesn't believe it, and notices the sunflower seeds and gin bottles in Evan's room. He then talks to Evan's actress, who admits that although she dated Evan he was a prefect gentleman and they never had sex. From that and the sunflower seeds, House comes up with a new theory: he has toxic levels of B6 leading to impotency. Before they filter out his blood, the team convinces House to put Evan through a sexual arousal test in the sleep lab. He quickly confirms he isn't impotent but then has a heart attack. Cameron still keeps interjecting and suggests hyperthyroidism, and House agrees with her. This time he wants to irradiate Evan's thyroid and Foreman goes along with it, astonishing everyone including House. However, once he and the rest of the team go to check on Evan, Foreman tells them they're not doing the treatment until they run the iodine test to confirm, and by the time House knows it won't make a difference one way or another.
Cuddy tracks down House eating lunch in the morgue, as part of his plan to force her to give him the TV for his good behavior. She hides the food as the inspector, Conway, comes in and introduces himself. Cuddy finally gives the secret code word to let House know she's giving in and House adroitly covers for her. As the workmen install the TV in his office, House talks with Cameron who has completed his paperwork. He figure she misses the diagnostic team and she admits she does: she just doesn't miss him.
Taub and Kutner run the iodine test and although the test proves negative on the thyroid, the scan shows that his kidneys are failing. House finds out they didn't go with his prescribed treatment and accuses Foreman of weaseling out of it rather than confronting him, to pass the inspection. They now suspect auto-immune.
Wilson and Amber end up back at Amber's apartment and make out on the new mattress... until she realizes Wilson got the mattress she wanted. She notes that the reason for all of his divorces is because he did everything for his wives and ended up resenting them for it. She says she can take care of herself and tells him to worry about himself.
House visits the Evan who still wants to do something significant with his life. House isn't impressed and tells him to stop whining and quit if that's what he wants to do. Evan has a sudden change and agrees to do so, then starts reciting lines from when his character was in a hospital bed. House determines Evan's delirious with fever and tries to get him cooled down. Now that the actor is septic and in a coma, they need to determine what he has so they can treat it. Foreman wants to test for fungal infection and House takes a break to go help Wilson buy his mattress. Wilson finally decides to go with a waterbed, something he's always wanted but never had. House tells him to go for it and then notices the floral design on the beds. He goes back to the team and says that Evan has an allergy, to the flowers in his dressing room. He decides to administer steroids and barges in to the hospital pharmacy to take a massive dose. Cuddy confronts him and House tells her to tell him that he's wrong if that's what she believes: otherwise either get out of his way and let him do his job, or give him three minutes to treat Evan before security can get there. Cuddy lets him administer the steroids.
As they wait for the treatment to kick in, the tests come back negative for floral allergies. Cuddy goes to restart the antibiotic treatment only to find that Evan is recovering after all. House berates her, saying that he was wrong and he should have stopped her.
Wilson ends up sleeping on the floor: he can't stand the water bed. Amber assures him they'll take it back, and she'll make sure the store takes it back. One way or another.
Conway meets with Cuddy, noting that the rules apply to everyone, even House.
House is watching his soap opera later that night when he sees a scene of Evan's character Brock drinking gin and tonic, a subplot they started two months ago when Evan first started stuttering his lines. House calls Cuddy to explain that Evan did have an allergy: to the quinine in the tonic water they used to make the fake gin and tonics. He notes that Cuddy should have been fired, then asks what's she wearing in bed. She just sighs and hangs up.
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