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House: Not Cancer

The team deals with an organ donors whose organs prove fatal, and the two surviving patients. Meanwhile, House hires a private detective to spy on Wilson, but hears a few things about himself that he'd rather not.

Episode Info

Episode number: 5x2
Production Number: HOU-502
Airdate: Tuesday September 23rd, 2008

Alternate Airdates:

NL (SBS 6) Jan 15, 2009
UK (sky 1) May 31, 2009
Lithuania Oct 27, 2010


Guest Stars
Michael WestonMichael Weston
As Lucas Douglas
Felicia DayFelicia Day
As Apple
Tim ConlonTim Conlon
As Dr. O'Shea
Elaine KaganElaine Kagan
As Belinda

Co-Guest Stars
Denice J. SealyDenice J. Sealy
As Nurse (as Denice Sealy)
Tyler PattonTyler Patton
As Neurosurgeon
Bobbin BergstromBobbin Bergstrom
As Nurse
Eric KaldorEric Kaldor
As Frank
Mark BeltzmanMark Beltzman
As Tibalt Oyylant
Mike GainesMike Gaines
As Morgan
Main Cast
Hugh LaurieHugh Laurie
As Dr. Gregory House
Lisa EdelsteinLisa Edelstein
As Dr. Lisa Cuddy
Omar EppsOmar Epps
As Dr. Eric Foreman
Robert Sean LeonardRobert Sean Leonard
As Dr. James Wilson
Jesse SpencerJesse Spencer
As Dr. Robert Chase
Peter JacobsonPeter Jacobson
As Dr. Christopher Taub
Olivia WildeOlivia Wilde
As Dr. Remy Hadley ("Thirteen")
Kal PennKal Penn
As Dr. Lawrence Kutner


Four people die: a tennis player, a crane worker, a kickboxer, a tuba player. Thirteen arrives at a college math class and informs the teacher, Apple, that she received a corneal transplant and every other person who received an organ from the donor is dead or dying...

Read the full recap
ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
Dave Matthews BandYou Might Die Tryingas Apple crashes

Episode Quotes
Dr. O’Shea: Are you checking me out?
Dr. House: You’re astute. No.
Dr. O’Shea: How many pills did you just take?
House: Vicodin, opiods, some B12. Need a little kick in the afternoon. You got a problem with that? (O’Shea looks disinterested) I think I’m falling in love.

Dr. Foreman: We need to remove the eye.
Dr. House: It’s her only working eye.
Dr. Foreman: We could remove the other one, but since it’s not killing her, I thought this way was less insane.
Dr. House: (to O’Shea) Do you have some ethical problem with what I’m doing that you can express in a unique way which might actually make me think that I’m wrong even though I’ll never admit it?
Dr. O’Shea: Yes.
Dr. House: You are funny. The problem’s not in her eye, it’s in her head. You wanna come over and watch Prescription Passion at my house tonight?
Dr. O’Shea: You know I’m not gay, right?
Dr. House: Neither am I. If you don’t want to have sex, that’s cool with me.
Dr. O’Shea: I’m not coming over to your home.
Dr. House: I’ll grow on you.

Dr. Foreman: I’m sorry. We need to remove your eye.
Apple: My eye?
House: A moment ago you thought you were dying. Blind’s actually good news.

Lucas: Oh yeah, that will be… $2,300 dollars
Dr. House: I’ll get you a check.
Lucas: No, I don’t take checks.
Dr. House: You think I’m going to stop payment?
Lucas: Aren’t you?
Dr. House: Of course I am. $2,300, that’s insane.

House: Say it.
Dr. Foreman: You were right.
House: God, that was petty of me.

Dr. Kutner: Does that PI guy mean we don’t have to break into people’s homes any more?
Dr. House:: It’s the whole reason you went to medical school. I’m not gonna take that away from you.

Dr. House: Did you get the consent?
Dr. Taub: No.
Dr. House: Tell Foreman to get it. Old people are scared of black people.

Lucas: There are two types of people who hire me. No, actually there are three types of people that hire me, but the third point is irrelevant to the point I want to make.
Dr. House: Do you have a special rate plan for being a pain in the ass?

Dr. House: Have you been checking me out? I’ve been paying for that?
Lucas: So far you haven’t paid for anything.

Apple: The guys I hated dancing with before, I hated dancing with after. My parents were still dead, I was still alone.
Dr. House: You’re fun.
Apple: You don’t seem that different.
Dr. House: I haven’t given up.

Dr. House: How do you know what they’re talking about?
Lucas: I’m in the same grief-counseling group.I recently lost my mother.
Dr. House: You get laid more often if you told them you lost a kid.
Lucas: I didn’t lose a kid.

Mason: Only two things you ignore: things that aren’t unimportant and things you wish weren’t important. And wishing never works.

Dr. House: How many friends do you have?
Lucas: Seventeen.
Dr. House: Seriously?
Lucas: No, I knew this conversation was really about you, so I gave you an answer so you could get back to your chain of thought.

Dr. House: Friends allow you to not sit in a room by yourself. You charging me for this?
Lucas: Are we friends?
Dr. House: No.
Lucas: Then yes.
Dr. House: Want to be my friend?
Lucas: No. you scare me a little.

Dr. Cuddy: I’m going to trust your first instincts.
Dr. House:: I’m not usually confused when you say things like that.

Nurse: You ever hear of The Boy Who Cried Wolf?
Dr. House: Never really bought that. I don’t care how often the kid cries he’s going to be eaten by a wolf, the mom’s going to come running.

Other Episode Crew

CreatorDavid Shore
Executive ProducerBryan Singer  |  Katie Jacobs  |  David Shore  |  Hugh Laurie  |  Paul Attanasio  |  Thomas L. Moran  |  Russel Friend  |  Garrett Lerner
Co-Executive ProducerLeonard Dick  |  Eli Attie  |  Doris Egan  |  Deran Sarafian  |  Peter Blake (2)  |  Gerrit Van Der Meer  |  Lawrence Kaplow
Supervising ProducerLiz Friedman
ProducerDavid Foster (1)  |  David Hoselton  |  Marcy G. Kaplan
Co-ProducerSara Hess  |  Allen Marshall Palmer  |  Steven Heth
Associate ProducerLindsey Jaffin
Production DesignerJeremy Cassells
EditorKimberly Ray
CastingAmy Lippens  |  Stephanie Laffin
Unit Production ManagerGerrit Van Der Meer
First Assistant DirectorChris Stoia
Second Assistant DirectorJanet K. Vanetten
MusicJason Derlatka  |  Jon Ehrlich
Music EditorMichael Baber
Music SupervisorLynn Grossman  |  Gary Calamar
Costume DesignerCathy Crandall
Key GripShawn Whelan
Camera OperatorAnthony Gaudioz  |  Rob Carlson (3)
Set DecoratorNatalie Pope
Location ManagerNancy Haecker
Transportation CoordinatorSteve De Leon
Property MasterTyler Patton  |  Dean Zingus
Construction CoordinatorStephen Howard
Production Sound MixerVon Varga
Script SupervisorIra Hurvitz
Production CoordinatorElisabeth James Rhee
Script CoordinatorDustin Paddock
Supervising Sound EditorBrad North
Re-Recording MixerRichard Weingart  |  Gerry Lentz
LeadmanGary Isbell
Director of PhotographyGale Tattersall
Art DirectorCameron Birnie
Assistant Production CoordinatorMeg A. Schave
Post Production CoordinatorMarisa Lederman
Executive Story EditorPamela Davis
Costume SupervisorAmy Dodson
Special Makeup Effects ArtistDalia Dokter
Main Title ThemeMassive Attack
Visual Effects SupervisorElan Soltes
Production AccountantJane Williams (2)
Chief Lighting TechnicianJim Dillinger
Department Head HairJanis Clark (1)
Casting AssociateJanelle Scuderi
Medical Technical AdvisorLisa Sanders  |  Harley Liker  |  John Sotos
Department Head Make-upRobin Luce
Assistant To The Executive ProducerRobyn Marrow  |  James S. Conway  |  Simran Baidwan  |  Tommy Paul
Video Graphic ArtistSimon Knights
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