Jason: Excuse me, I’m looking for Dr. Cuddy.
Dr. House: Well, she’s either not here or she’s under the desk. Either way, you’re gonna have to wait outside until I’m finished.
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Dr. Taub: House is gonna get someone killed.
Dr. Kutner: The guy's ready to kill for a diagnosis, I can't think of a better doctor to be trapped in there with him.
Dr. Cameron: How about somebody who's not gonna keep pushing the whack job's buttons until he cracks?
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Bill: Excuse me, my wife feels sick to her stomach.
Dr. House: Next time pack some heat and maybe we'll look into it.
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Dr. House: First rule of triage: guys with guns go first.
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Dr. House: She should go.
Nurse Regina: He'll kill him.
Dr. House: But not her.
Nurse Regina: Is that your version of morality?
Dr. House: If you don't think your life is worth more than someone else's, sign your donor card and kill yourself.
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House: Spit on the floor.
Jason: What?
House: If I do it, I can’t tell Cuddy that it was medically necessary. I’m gonna ask you to piss on her chair next.
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Jason: What about an x-ray or something?
Dr. House: Good idea. Oh, damn. I left my CT machine in my other pants.
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Dr. House: Humiliation? Doctors treating you like you're a piece of meat? Too many fingers and tubes up your holes? You hate doctors. You want to take back control. If so, I apologize for the fact that you are a piece of meat.
Jason: I just want an answer. That's all.
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Jason: Not knowing what was wrong with me… made me miserable. Maybe that's insane. Doing this… yeah. Insane. But I had something to gain. You can't take risks with no upside at all.
Dr. House: I can't decide which is riskier, taking crazy risks or taking advice on crazy risks from a crazed risk-taker.
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Jason: Florida counts?
Dr. House: Well, not to the Supreme Court, but it’s warm enough for germs.
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