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House: Paternity
A 16-year-old patient comes in suffering from double vision and night terrors. House dismisses the kid but as he's leaving the hospital the patient suffers from myoclonic jerks. House thinks that the patient may be suffering from Multiple Sclerosis, but the night terror hallucinations disprove the diagnosis. As he gets worse, Cuddy is horrified at the fact that House is making bets on the child's paternity, which might be the key to solving the case. Meanwhile in the clinic, House is having to deal with a man who is trying to set up a lawsuit and a mother who refuses to give her baby vaccinations.
| 9/10 (9 Votes cast) |
Episode Info
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Episode number: 1x2 Production Number: HOU-105 Airdate: Tuesday November 23rd, 2004 Alternate Airdates:
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FI (
Czech Republic
NL (
Main Cast
Recap
Dan is playing lacrosse when suddenly his vision blurs and everything seems to slow down for him. Another player slams into him and he falls to the ground, dazed...Read the full recap
Episode Notes
This episode was originally set to air as the 5th episode in the series.
Music
| Artist | Song Title | Played When |
| Rickie Lee Jones (1) | On Saturday Afternoons In 1963 | House watches Dan's lacrosse game |
Episode Quotes
Dr. Wilson: Just tell Cuddy you have an urgent case.
Dr. House: That would be lying.
Dr. Wilson: And that would be wrong...?
Dr. House: That would be lying.
Dr. Wilson: And that would be wrong...?
Dr. House: When did my signature become so girly...?
Dr. Cameron: I can explain.
Dr. House: See that "G"? See how it makes a big loop on top? Doesn't even look like my handwriting. Think I have something? What's the differential diagnosis for writing Gs like a junior high school girl?
Dr. Cameron: I can explain.
Dr. House: See that "G"? See how it makes a big loop on top? Doesn't even look like my handwriting. Think I have something? What's the differential diagnosis for writing Gs like a junior high school girl?
House: (to Cameron) Perseverance does not equal worthiness. Next time you want to get my attention, wear something fun. Low-ridier jeans are hot.
Dr. House: You hound me for my opinion and then you condemn my diagnosis. Cool.
Dr. Foreman: From what I've read, false paternity is more like 10%.
Dr. House: That's what our moms would like us to believe.
Dr. House: That's what our moms would like us to believe.
Dr. Chase: It doesn't necessarily have to be that bad. If we exclude the night terrors it could be something systemic: his liver, kidneys, something outside the brain.
Dr. House: Yes, feel free to exclude any symptom if it makes your job easier.
Dr. House: Yes, feel free to exclude any symptom if it makes your job easier.
Dr. House: (Chase) knew that I saw something on the MRI, so he figured that I saw something and took a guess. Clever... but pathetic.
Dr. House: Are you guessing?
Dr. Chase: Yes.
Dr. House: Too bad. You're right.
Dr. Chase: Yes.
Dr. House: Too bad. You're right.
Dr. Foreman: He probably just moved. Nobody stays perfectly still for their MRI.
Dr. House: Yeah, he probably got restless and shifted one hemisphere of his brain to a more comfortable position.
Dr. House: Yeah, he probably got restless and shifted one hemisphere of his brain to a more comfortable position.
Dr. House: You know another really good business? Teeny tiny baby coffins. You can get them in frog green or fire engine red. Really. The antibodies in yummy Mummy only protect the kid for six months, which is why these companies think they can gouge you. They think that you'll spend whatever they ask to keep your kid alive. Want to change things? Prove 'em wrong. Few hundred parents like you decide they'd rather let their kid die than cough up forty bucks for a vaccination, believe me, prices will drop really fast.
Dr. House: Who cares about McPhearson? I heard he tortures kittens.
Dr. Foreman: McDonald.
Dr. House: Oh, McDonald. Wonderful doctor, loved kittens.
Dr. Foreman: McDonald.
Dr. House: Oh, McDonald. Wonderful doctor, loved kittens.
Dr. House: Dr. Cuddy. Great outfit.
Dr. Cuddy: What are you doing back here? Patient?
Dr. House: No. Hooker. Went to my office instead of my home.
Dr. Cuddy: What are you doing back here? Patient?
Dr. House: No. Hooker. Went to my office instead of my home.
Dr. Foreman: Actually, Chase tackled him.
Dr. House: How come you didn't do it?
Dr. Foreman: Rght. Well, I am black, but he was closer.
Dr. House: How come you didn't do it?
Dr. Foreman: Rght. Well, I am black, but he was closer.
Dr. Cameron: What about sex?
Dr. House: Well, it might get complicated. I mean, we work together, I'm older, certainly, but maybe you like that.
Dr. Cameron: I meant maybe he has neurosyphilis.
Dr. House: Huh. (winks) Nice cover.
Dr. House: Well, it might get complicated. I mean, we work together, I'm older, certainly, but maybe you like that.
Dr. Cameron: I meant maybe he has neurosyphilis.
Dr. House: Huh. (winks) Nice cover.
Dr. House: Who thinks there's a third option? (Chase raises his hand) Very good. What's the third choice?
Dr. Chase: (shrugs) No idea. You just asked if I thought there was one.
Dr. Chase: (shrugs) No idea. You just asked if I thought there was one.
Dr. House: It's ironic, isn't it? Sort of like the boy who sued wolf. You know, I bet we have a doctor here named Wolf. How perfect would that be? I'm gonna page him.
Dr. Cuddy: How's your hooker doing?
Dr. House: Sweet of you to ask. Funny story. She was going to be hospital administrator, but she just hated having to screw people like that.
Dr. House: Sweet of you to ask. Funny story. She was going to be hospital administrator, but she just hated having to screw people like that.
Dr. Cuddy: And is there a paternity bet on the father of the patient?
Dr. House: Doesn't sound like me.
Dr. Wilson: Well, it does, actually, but doesn't mean you're guilty. You think?
Dr. House: Doesn't sound like me.
Dr. Wilson: Well, it does, actually, but doesn't mean you're guilty. You think?
Dr. House: Another reason I don't like meeting patients. If they don't know what you look like, they can't yell at you.
Dan's Mother: How can you just sit there?
Dr. House: If I eat standing up, I spill.
Dr. House: If I eat standing up, I spill.
Funsten: You've caused me considerable mental stress.
Dr. House: I certainly hope so.
Dr. House: I certainly hope so.
Dr. House: Can we get off my screw-ups and focus on theirs? Theirs is bigger
Dr. Foreman: Look, I'm sorry. I can explain this as best I can, but the notion that you're gonna fully understand your son's treatment and make an informed decision is... is kind of insane. Here's what you need to know. It's dangerous. It could kill him. You should do it.
Dr. Wilson: Yes, concerned parents can be so annoying.
Cultural References
House: General Hospital's on channel 6.
General Hospital is the most popular soap opera on ABC, and airs on Channel 6 in New Jersey.
General Hospital is the most popular soap opera on ABC, and airs on Channel 6 in New Jersey.
Other Episode Crew
| • Creator | David Shore |
| • Executive Producer | Bryan Singer | Katie Jacobs | David Shore | Paul Attanasio |
| • Co-Executive Producer | John Mankiewicz | Gerrit Van Der Meer |
| • Supervising Producer | Matt Witten | Thomas L. Moran |
| • Producer | Gerrit Van Der Meer |
| • Consulting Producer | Sara B. Cooper | Peter Blake (2) | Daniel Sackheim |
| • Associate Producer | Bruce J. Nachbar | Steven Heth | Marcy G. Kaplan |
| • Production Designer | Mark Hutman |
| • Editor | Christopher Nelson (1) |
| • Casting | Amy Lippens |
| • First Assistant Director | Chris Stoia |
| • Second Assistant Director | Korey Pollard |
| • Music | Jon Ehrlich | Jason Derlatka |
| • Music Editor | Michael Baber |
| • Costume Designer | Cathy Crandall |
| • Key Grip | Marlin Hall |
| • Camera Operator | Steven H. Smith |
| • Set Designer | Lynn Christopher |
| • Set Decorator | Cindy Carr |
| • Location Manager | Michelle Latham |
| • Transportation Coordinator | Steve De Leon |
| • Property Master | Matt Cavaliero |
| • Production Sound Mixer | Beau Baker |
| • Script Supervisor | Ira Hurvitz |
| • Production Coordinator | Tammi Campbell |
| • Script Coordinator | Dustin Paddock |
| • Assistant Editor | John McMinn |
| • Post Production Supervisor | J.R. Nachbar | Allen Marshall Palmer |
| • Supervising Sound Editor | Barbara Issak |
| • Re-Recording Mixer | Richard Weingart | Gerry Lentz |
| • Gaffer | Thomas R. Barone |
| • Director of Photography | Walt Lloyd |
| • Story Editor | Joel Anderson Thompson |
| • Art Director | Robert Henderson (1) |
| • Executive Story Editor | Lawrence Kaplow (1) |
| • Costume Supervisor | Karen Bellamy |
| • Main Title Theme | Massive Attack |
| • Visual Effects Supervisor | Elan Soltes |
| • Production Accountant | Jane Williams (2) |
| • Department Head Hair | Karl Wesson |
| • Casting Associate | Stephanie Laffin |
| • Medical Technical Advisor | Lisa Sanders | Michael Giordano | Harley Liker | Bobbin Bergstrom |
| • Department Head Make-up | Vivian Baker |
| • Executive In Charge Of Production | Alex Garcia (2) | Brian Pines |
| • Assistant To The Executive Producer | Rachel Light | Jason Taylor (3) | Matt Lewis | Jenny Paul |
| • Video Coordinator | Mark L. Marcum |
| • Technical Consultant | David Foster (1) |
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