Dr. Wilson: I'm still amazed you're in the same room with a patient.
Dr. House: People don't bug me until they get teeth.
Dr. Cuddy: (to House) Shrink. If you would consider a shrink, I would pay for it myself. The hospital would hold a bake sale, for God's sake.
Dr. House: We have an epidemic!
Dr. Cuddy: Two sick babies is very sad, but it doesn’t prove an epidemic.
Dr. House: How many do?
Dr. House: Get up. We're going hunting.
Dr. Chase: For what?
Dr. House: Wabbits.
Dr. Cuddy: Well, there's got to be something in common.
Dr. House: Yeah – that would be the difference between an epidemic and a coincidence.
Dr. House: If [Cuddy] doesn't solve this soon, her head's going to explode and I don't want to get any on me.
Dr. House: Lift up your arms. You have a parasite.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
Dr. House: Lie back and lift up your sweater.You can put your arms down.
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
Dr. DrHouse: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
. House: Don’t worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
Dr. House: (showing her sonogram) It has your eyes.
Dr. House: The most successful marriages are based on lies. You're off to a great start.
Charlie: C'mon, Jill - he obviously doesn't want to talk to us.
Dr. House: Oh, I was trying to hide it...
Dr. House: I sometimes forget patients. I thought you were this idiot who didn't know how to use birth control.
Dr. House: This is our fault. Doctors over-prescribing antibiotics. Got a cold? Take some penicillin. Sniffles? No problem. Have some azithromycin. Is that not working anymore? Oh, got your levoquin. Antibacterial soaps in every bathroom. We'll be adding vancomycin to the water supply soon. We bred these superbugs. They're our babies. And they're all grown up and they've got body piercings and a lot of anger.
Dr. House: How's Cameron?
Dr. Foreman: Dr. Cameron?
Dr. House: Sure, let's start with her and move on to all the other Camerons we know.
Dr. Foreman: I'm sorry – I'm just not used to you asking about someone's well-being.
Dr. House: I can understand how the question would surprise you. I don't quite get how it would confuse you.
Dr. Foreman: Why do you want to know?
Dr. House: Why do you want to know why I want to know?
Dr. Foreman: Just curious.
Dr. House: Me too.
Dr. Foreman: You don't get curious.
Dr. House: I'm the most curious man in the world.
Dr. Foreman: Not about trivialities.
Dr. House: Then this must not be trivial.
Jill: Thank you so much. I gotta get you a gift or something.
Dr. House: Sometimes the best gift is the gift of never seeing you again.
Jill: Okay, all right.