<-- Previous EpisodeNext Episode -->
House has a new patient whose hands are red with boils. She is a nun and all of her fellow nuns believe her condition to be stigmata. After what seems to be an allergic reaction to the medicine House prescribes, Cuddy orders him to research the case. During an MRI, the nun starts to suffer from convulsions. House wonders if her past is coming back to haunt her, as the doctors provide different theories about the nun's condition. However, only one of them has the correct answer.
Episode Info
|
Episode number: 1x5 Production Number: HOU-106 Airdate: Tuesday December 14th, 2004 Alternate Airdates:
|
FI (
Czech Republic
NL (
Co-Guest Stars
Main Cast
Recap
House is bored with charting duties during the Christmas seasons. Cuddy reminds him that he has a patient at the clinic and House reluctantly goes to see her. He finds three nuns in the room. The patient is Sister Mary Augustine, and she has blistered red hands. Sister Mary Pius thinks that it's stigmata, but Sister Mary Eucharist hushes her up. He diagnoses it as a reaction to dish soap, and he proscribes a drug for the allergic reaction. As she takes it with some tea from the monastery, House goes back to the desk, and Sister Eucharist comes out to thank him for his secular diagnosis. Sister Pius comes out and says something is wrong. House goes in and finds Sister Augustine having breathing problems. He takes a syringe of epinephrine out of a drawer and gives it to her for what appears to be an asthma attack. Her breathing becomes better, but she says that her heart is beating fast. House realizes that it's beating too fast, and calls for a nurse as he administers CPR...Read the full recap
Music
| Artist | Song Title | Played When |
| John Denver | Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer | |
| Mohr & Gruber | Silent Night | over the closing montage |
Episode Quotes
Dr. House: We are condemned to useless labor...
Dr. Wilson: Fourth circle of Hell. Charting goes a lot faster when you eliminate all classic poetry.
Dr. House: Writing down what we already know to be read by nobody. Pretty sure Dante would agree that qualifies as useless.
Dr. Wilson: You're over two weeks behind in your charting.
Dr. Wilson: Fourth circle of Hell. Charting goes a lot faster when you eliminate all classic poetry.
Dr. House: Writing down what we already know to be read by nobody. Pretty sure Dante would agree that qualifies as useless.
Dr. Wilson: You're over two weeks behind in your charting.
Dr. Cuddy: What are you, eight?
Dr. House: Could an eight-year-old do this? (makes a face)
Dr. Cuddy: Better stop it or it'll stick that way.
Dr. House: Could an eight-year-old do this? (makes a face)
Dr. Cuddy: Better stop it or it'll stick that way.
Dr. House: I've been a doctor for years – why do I have to keep assuring people that I know what I'm doing?
Sister Eucharist: Doctor? I want to thank you for your patience.
Dr. Wilson: She talking to you?
Dr. House: I don't know. She's certainly looking at me.
Dr. Wilson: She talking to you?
Dr. House: I don't know. She's certainly looking at me.
Sister Eucharist: The sisters tend to interpret their illnesses as divine intervention.
Dr. House: And you don't? Then you're wearing an awfully funny hat.
Dr. House: And you don't? Then you're wearing an awfully funny hat.
Dr. House: What the hell are those?
Dr. Cameron: Candy canes.
Dr. House: Candy canes? Are you mocking me.
Dr. Cameron: No. It's, it's Christmas, and I, I, I thought...
Dr. ]House: Relax – it's a joke.
Dr. Cameron: Candy canes.
Dr. House: Candy canes? Are you mocking me.
Dr. Cameron: No. It's, it's Christmas, and I, I, I thought...
Dr. ]House: Relax – it's a joke.
Dr. Chase: I hate nuns.
Dr. House: Who doesn't?
Dr. House: Who doesn't?
Dr. House: I also recognize that I am human and capable of error.
Dr. Wilson: So you might have screwed this up?
Dr. House: No.
Dr. Wilson: So it's merely a theoretical capacity for error?
Dr. House: Good point. Maybe there isn't one. Maybe that's my error.
Dr. Wilson: So you might have screwed this up?
Dr. House: No.
Dr. Wilson: So it's merely a theoretical capacity for error?
Dr. House: Good point. Maybe there isn't one. Maybe that's my error.
Dr. House: (sarcastically admitting to giving the nun the wrong dosage of epinephrine) So there I was, in the clinic, drunk, I opened the drawer, closed my eyes, take the first syringe I could find...
Dr. House: I am both amused and annoyed that you think I should be less stubborn then you are.
Sister Eucharist: (The hypochondriac nun) tends to believe in things that aren't real.
Dr. House: I thought that was a job description for you people.
Dr. House: I thought that was a job description for you people.
Dr. House: What do you know about the nun?
Dr. Chase: Which one?
Dr. House: The cute one. I think she likes me. The sick one, obviously.
Dr. Chase: Which one?
Dr. House: The cute one. I think she likes me. The sick one, obviously.
Dr. House: And the old nun thinks the sick nun is a big fat nun liar.
Dr. House: You hate nuns. You can't hate someone if you don't know them.
Dr. Chase: Know any Nazis? Maybe I hate them on principle.
Dr. Chase: Know any Nazis? Maybe I hate them on principle.
Dr. House: I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone, that someone is probably the last person you should ask.
Mother Superior: Ah. And have you been speaking to Sister Eucharist?
Dr. House: She ratted out her fellow sister pretty quickly.
Mother Superior: Oh.
Dr. House: If I were you, I'd have her repeat a year of nun school.
Mother Superior: Ah. And have you been speaking to Sister Eucharist?
Dr. House: She ratted out her fellow sister pretty quickly.
Mother Superior: Oh.
Dr. House: If I were you, I'd have her repeat a year of nun school.
Dr. House: I had to open her blouse to do CPR, and I learned two things. Nuns can have nice breasts, and she has a tattoo on her shoulder. Of a skunk. Now, maybe it's the sacred skunk of Joseph...
Dr. Wilson: Sixth circle of Hell?
Dr. House: Confined in a sweat box with a bloody nose and all the tissues are soggy.
Dr. Wilson: I think that's the Seventh.
Dr. House: Nope. The Seventh . . .
Dr. Wilson: God, you must be fun at parties.
Dr. House: I think we both know the flaw in that theory.
Dr. House: Confined in a sweat box with a bloody nose and all the tissues are soggy.
Dr. Wilson: I think that's the Seventh.
Dr. House: Nope. The Seventh . . .
Dr. Wilson: God, you must be fun at parties.
Dr. House: I think we both know the flaw in that theory.
Dr. House: You know how it is with nuns. You take out their IUDs, they just bounce right back.
Dr. Wilson: You wanna come over for Christmas dinner?
Dr. House: You're Jewish.
Dr. Wilson: Yeah, Hanukkah dinner. What do you care--it's food, it's people.
Dr. House: You're Jewish.
Dr. Wilson: Yeah, Hanukkah dinner. What do you care--it's food, it's people.
Episode Goofs
Dr. House is listening to a patient's heart with a stethoscope. However as the shot cuts to his face you can see the stethoscope is not in his ears.
Cultural References
Episode Title: Damned If You Do
This refers to the quote made famous by Eleanor Roosevelt. The full quotation is, "Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
This refers to the quote made famous by Eleanor Roosevelt. The full quotation is, "Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
House: How do you solve a problem like dermatitis?
House is playing off of the main chorus of "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?" from the musical The Sound of Music.
House is playing off of the main chorus of "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?" from the musical The Sound of Music.
Other Episode Crew
| • Creator | David Shore |
| • Executive Producer | Paul Attanasio | David Shore | Katie Jacobs | Bryan Singer |
| • Co-Executive Producer | John Mankiewicz |
| • Supervising Producer | Matt Witten | Thomas L. Moran |
| • Producer | Gerrit Van Der Meer |
| • Consulting Producer | Sara B. Cooper | Daniel Sackheim | Peter Blake (2) |
| • Associate Producer | Bruce J. Nachbar | Steven Heth | Marcy G. Kaplan |
| • Production Designer | Mark Hutman |
| • Editor | Sue Blainey |
| • Casting | Amy Lippens |
| • Unit Production Manager | Gerrit Van Der Meer |
| • First Assistant Director | Carol Green |
| • Second Assistant Director | Korey Pollard |
| • Music | Jason Derlatka | Jon Ehrlich |
| • Music Editor | Michael Baber |
| • Costume Designer | Cathy Crandall |
| • Key Grip | Marlin Hall |
| • Camera Operator | Steven H. Smith |
| • Set Designer | Lynn Christopher |
| • Set Decorator | Cindy Carr |
| • Location Manager | Michelle Latham |
| • Transportation Coordinator | Steve De Leon |
| • Property Master | Matt Cavaliero |
| • Production Sound Mixer | Beau Baker |
| • Script Supervisor | Ira Hurvitz |
| • Production Coordinator | Tammi Campbell |
| • Script Coordinator | Dustin Paddock |
| • Assistant Editor | Jason Freeman |
| • Post Production Supervisor | J.R. Nachbar | Allen Marshall Palmer |
| • Supervising Sound Editor | Barbara Issak |
| • Re-Recording Mixer | Gerry Lentz | Richard Weingart |
| • Gaffer | Thomas R. Barone |
| • Director of Photography | Walt Lloyd |
| • Story Editor | Joel Anderson Thompson |
| • Art Director | Robert Henderson (1) |
| • Executive Story Editor | Lawrence Kaplow (1) |
| • Costume Supervisor | Karen Bellamy |
| • Main Title Theme | Jon Ehrlich | Jason Derlatka | Massive Attack |
| • Visual Effects Supervisor | Elan Soltes |
| • Production Accountant | Jane Williams (2) |
| • Department Head Hair | Karl Wesson |
| • Casting Associate | Stephanie Laffin |
| • Medical Technical Advisor | Harley Liker | Lisa Sanders | Michael Giordano | Bobbin Bergstrom |
| • Department Head Make-up | Vivian Baker |
| • Executive In Charge Of Production | Alex Garcia (2) | Brian Pines |
| • Assistant To The Executive Producer | Jenny Paul | Jason Taylor (3) | Matt Lewis | Rachel Light |
| • Technical Consultant | David Foster |
Finally: The mother is revealed on 'How I Met Your Mother' (spoilers)
After eight long seasons (and countless hours suffered by..
Anna Faris, Allison Janney talk 'Moms'
One of CBS' brightest hopes for the 2013-2014 television season is Moms, a new sitcom..
'Orphan Black' heading to BBC 3
The British Broadcasting Corporation is reaching across the Atlantic Ocean for new content..
Online Games | Info Center | Contact | TOS |
Privacy | Copyright | Writers Wanted | Representative For a show? | News Staff | API