Damned If You Do - Recap

House is bored with charting duties during the Christmas seasons. Cuddy reminds him that he has a patient at the clinic and House reluctantly goes to see her. He finds three nuns in the room. The patient is Sister Mary Augustine, and she has blistered red hands. Sister Mary Pius thinks that it's stigmata, but Sister Mary Eucharist hushes her up. He diagnoses it as a reaction to dish soap, and he proscribes a drug for the allergic reaction. As she takes it with some tea from the monastery, House goes back to the desk, and Sister Eucharist comes out to thank him for his secular diagnosis. Sister Pius comes out and says something is wrong. House goes in and finds Sister Augustine having breathing problems. He takes a syringe of epinephrine out of a drawer and gives it to her for what appears to be an asthma attack. Her breathing becomes better, but she says that her heart is beating fast. House realizes that it's beating too fast, and calls for a nurse as he administers CPR.



As Sisters Pius and Eucharist sit with Sister Augustine at her bed, Cuddy calls in House and claims insists that he must have given her 1 cc of epinephrine, since that's the only thing that would cause the heart reaction. House insists that he took out the syringe containing .1 cc. Cuddy agrees to keep Augustine for 24 hours to let House determine if there's an underlying cause, but after that, she'll notify the lawyers.

House's team goes over the case and House suggests vasculitis. They need a biopsy to confirm, and only 33% of patients survive. Foreman suggests that House screwed up, but House stands by his actions. Chase is surprised to hear that it's a nun, and admits that he hates them.



Foreman, Cameron, and Chase go to see Augustine, and find Pius intrigues by the television. Augustine admits that she hasn't seen TV in 20 years, and Chase snipes at her. They tell her that they'll be doing a chest CT later. Outside, Foreman figures that House screwed up and wonders if Chase thinks he's infallible. Chase figures their lives will be better if House is right.

House complains to Wilson that Cuddy isn't suspending him from clinic duty because he made a mistake. Wilson is amused that House still won't admit to fallibility. In the clinic, House attends to a patient, Marvin, who is a Santa. He determines that Marvin has an obstructed bowel, which makes his job impossible because he can't have kids sit on his lap. House prescribes cigarettes, which can reduce inflammation of the bowel.

As Chase takes Augustine to her tests, she explains that after her parents died, she was raised in a foster home until she was 18, and then she entered the monastery. She hasn't wanted any other life. In the scan chamber, Augustine complains about the smell. The team discusses God and Chase confirms that there are no vascular problems. Cameron continues to defend House, and Augustine panics as she complains about the smell. They get her out and she says that Jesus is coming for her. Foreman concludes she has temporal lobe swelling, and Augustine seizes.



Back in differential, Foreman reports that the patient tested positive for herpetic encephalitis, meaning her immune system is compromised. Cuddy points out that House's supposed mistake could have compromised the immune system, but Cameron insists that couldn't have done it. When Cuddy continues to kibitz, House gets her out by threatening to admit he screwed up so she has to testify. Once she leaves, House proposes that they treat Augustine in a hyperbaric chamber for connective tissue disease and ignores Foreman's objections. As the others go, Foreman warns House that it could damage, and they can't treat unless they're sure. House says he's sure, and asks what Foreman is going to do about it. Later, Foreman goes to see Cuddy.

Sister Eucharist comes to see House in the chapel, where he's watching soap operas. She tells him that Augustine is a hypochondriac who lies to get sympathy, She admits that she's angry, and House offers her a candy bar. When Eucharist accepts, House points out that she just committed several of the Deadly Sins. Eucharist figures that he uses humor to avoid facing people, and House responds by flirting with her. She walks away and House goes back to his soap opera.

Augustine finishes her first treatment and Chase gets her some of her tea.

Cuddy confronts House about his diagnosis, but he insists that there is something responsible. She responds by taking him off the case to keep him from killing the patient. As Cuddy goes, House sees Foreman watching and smiles.



Cuddy calls the team in for differential and insists that all the symptoms can be traced to House's screw-up. As they go, Foreman insists that he didn't betray House. Chase and Cameron are unimpressed.

House goes back to the clinic room and checks the epinephrine syringes. Wilson notices and House admits he wants to clear his reputation, but Wilson figures he's feeling guilty. He warns House that he's going to have to go through all the records to prove his innocence.

Chase checks on Augustine, and she realizes that her condition is worsening. He receives a page from his mother and goes to see House, noting his mother has been dead for 10 years. House figures that Augustine is lying about something, and Chase hates nuns for a reason. He doesn't provide the reason, but suggests that the Mother Superior would know if Augustine had a secret.

House goes to the monastery to talk to the Mother Superior, who realizes he's been speaking to Eucharist. She offers House tea while saying that Augustine lived in foster care until she came to the monastery. House realizes that she's lying and notes that he saw a tattoo on Augustine's shoulder. The Mother Superior says that all nuns are considered to have their lives start when they enter the monastery, but House insists he needs more info to diagnose. In response, Mother Superior explains that Augustine lived on the streets when she was 12, and became pregnant when she was 15. She self-aborted, lost the child, and entered the monastery. House admits that it's not medically relevant and tries the tea, and is impressed as well as curious if it's made with local herbs.



The team tells Cuddy that Augustine is getting worse and House might have been right. However, they have nothing concrete. House arrives and shows them a tea bag from the monastery. He explains that it's figwort tea, and it reacts badly with epinephrine. Once they take the heart problem out of the equation, the rest of the symptoms confirm a long-term allergic reaction, just like Cameron said originally. House congratulates her, and then condemns her for not sticking by her diagnosis. He tells her to take a lesson from Foreman and stand up for her principles.

The team goes back into differential and House notes that the allergy has been untreated so long that it is putting Augustine's life at risk. House figures that Augustine has been exposed to the same substance in the hospital, accounting for the persistence of symptoms. They put her into a clean room and then introduce allergens to see how she responds. They isolate Augustine, and Chase offers to pray with her. Augustine begins crying, worried that she will die, and Chase explains that he was in seminary school. He tells her that she'll be tested and how she reacts is the test, and that he left seminary school because he didn't past the test.

As Foreman and Cameron talk to the other sisters, Chase calls them back in as Augustine suffers from anaphylactic shock. They intubate and stabilize her breathing, but have no way how she could have an allergic reaction in a clean room.



House considers the case with Wilson, and admits they've checked everything. Wilson suggests that it's divine will, but House insists it's not his will. In response, Wilson suggests that sometimes patients live and die for no reason, but House believes there's always a reason.

Cameron comes to reassure House, who says that he doesn't need her to tell him he's doing his job. She gives him a Christmas present, surprising House. Chase comes in and tells them that Augustine has requested to be checked out against medical advice. When House tells him to talk her out of it, Chase admits he may have talked her into it.

House goes to see Augustine, and she insists the illness was sent by God as a test of faith. House figures that she's been running away all her life and this is no exception. She wonders why House doesn't believe in God, and he insists that he functions based on logic. He tells her she can have all the faith she wants, but has to deal with the real world. House tells her to believe in God, not her, and Augustine explains that she got pregnant despite using every form of birth control. When she got angry at God, she realized that He existed.



House leaves and tells Wilson what happened, and Wilson jokingly suggests that Augustine might be allergic to God. As he walks away, House gets an idea and tells the team to do a full body scan. The team finds something: a cross-shaped object in her uterus. House explains that it's a copper cross, a form of birth control pulled off the market in the 1980s. Augustine is allergic to copper, and never knew the IUD device was left in. Chase explains to Augustine that it was relatively passive for years, but her contact with the copper pans at the monastery set off a full-scale reaction. She tells Chase that He will be waiting for him when he's ready.

Wilson goes to see House, who is satisfied that he didn't screw up. However, Wilson points out that House would have killed Augustine if Cuddy hadn't taken him off the case. He invites House to Hanukkah but House isn't interested. Wilson offers to come over, but doesn't want to discuss why he wants to be away from his wife on Christmas. Cuddy comes by and congratulates House, and wishes them both a Merry Christmas.



Wilson and House have Chinese at House's apartment.

Foreman dresses as Santa and gives out presents at the Christmas ward.

Cameron discovers she has a Christmas present.

Cuddy checks on her patients.

Chase goes to Sister Augustine's church, looks on briefly, and then turns and goes.

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