Wright: You a Republican, or you just hate all politicians?
House: I just find being forced to sit through drivel annoying.

Vogler: Look, if this case is as trivial as you think, it'll take you three minutes to diagnose.
House: Uh-huh - three minutes that I could sit on the toilet with the funny pages.

House: What was that?
Dr. Chase: What was what?
House: You got annoyed. That was clearly an annoyed face.
Dr. Chase: I get annoyed about glib remarks about our future.
House: Last week you didn't get annoyed - you made poopie in your pants.

House: You're not going to be President either way - they don't call it the White House because of the paint job.

Dr. Cuddy: A brain biopsy can cause permanent neurological damage.
House: Uh-huh. Whereas tumors are really good for brains - make them big and strong.

House: Are you . . . comparing me to God? I mean, that's great, but just so you know, I've never made a tree.

House: Someday there will be a black president. Someday there will be a gay president. Maybe there'll even be a gay black president. But one combination I do not see is gay, black, and dead.

House: You like me. Why?
Dr. Cameron: That's kind of a sad question.

Sarah: I haven’t had sex since I split up with my husband.That was almost a year ago.
House: Fine, have it your way. Immaculate conception.
Sarah: Um, what do I do?
House: Well, it’s obvious. Start a religion.

House: A few things I forgot to mention. Ed Vogler is a brilliant businessman. A brilliant judge of people, and a man who has never lost a fight. You know how I know the new ACE inhibitor is good? Because the old one was good. The new one is really the same, it’s just more expensive. A lot more expensive. See, that’s another example of Ed’s brilliance. Whenever one of his drugs is about to lose its patent he has his boys and girls alter it just a tiny bit and patent it all over again. Making not just a pointless new pill, but millions and millions of dollars. Which is good for everbody, right? The patients, pish. Who cares, they’re just so damn sick! God obviously never liked them anyway. All the healthy people in the room, let’s have a big round of applause for Ed Vogler!

Dr. Wilson: Dr. Cameron’s getting to you. Well, I guess you can’t be around that much niceness and not get any on you.
House Is that why you haven’t put the moves on her?
Dr. Wilson: What makes you think I haven’t put the moves on her? Oh. Oh, boy! You’re in trouble!

Dr. Cameron: There are only two ways I can deal with things. One is in my control. That's to leave. Goodbye, House.

Dr. Foreman: Oh, come on. Kennedy had Addison’s, FDR had polio.

Foreman is talking about two popular former U.S. Presidents, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who served twelve years (1933-1945), and John F. Kennedy, who only served three years (1961-1963) before being assassinated. Both were very well-liked and successful presidents, despite their handicaps.

House: This could leave you b-b-b-brain damaged, and you're worried about NASCAR dads?

NASCAR dads are white, working class fathers who are usually described as working-class men who place more emphasis on values than on party labels. Although, they do tend to lean toward Republicans.