Episode Quotes
House: If you're dying suddenly everybody loves you.
Dr. Wilson: You have a cane, nobody even likes you.
House: I'm not terminal, merely pathetic; you wouldn't believe the crap people let me get away with.
House: Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?
Cuddy: Are you high?
House: If it's Tuesday, I'm wasted.
Cuddy: It's Wednesday.
Dr. Foreman: We could bolt her to the table.
House: Gruesome and low tech. Kiss me, I love it. A five, six, seven, eight…
Dr. Wilson: You're treating your stuffy nose with cocaine?
House: Diphenhydramine. Antihistamine. New delivery system; it's a blood brain barrier thing.
Dr. Wilson: So it's all about speed isn't it. One thing to another; never standing still. You're pretty good at that.
House: I know my way around a razor blade.
Dr. Wilson: It's time.
House: Just a couple more rocks.
Nurse: Patient in one requested a male doctor.
Cuddy: Balls are in your court, Doctor.
House: Union rules. I can't check out this guy's seeping gonorrhea this close to lunch.
Cuddy: Exam room one.
House: It's sexist and a very dangerous precedent; if people could choose the sex of their doctors you gals would be out business.
Cuddy: Exam room one.
House: I'm not going to kiss you, no matter what you say.
Andie: It's sunny outside. You should go for a walk.
House: Not much for the long walks in the park. Git.
Dr. Cameron: You mean I actually get to touch the markers?
House: And you stay away the patient.
Dr. Cameron: What did I do?
House: You’ll just get all warm and cuddly around the dying girl, and insinuate yourself, and end up in a custody battle.
Dr. Wilson: She enjoys life more than you do.
House: Right.
Dr. Wilson: She stole that kiss from Chase. What have you done lately?
House: I'm pacing myself. Unlike her, I have the luxury of time.
Dr. Wilson: She could outlive you.