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Damonschildren.org - Recap

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The episode begins and Marty tells Doug and Clyde that Matt Damon is coming in for a meeting. Doug is really excited to hear this. He begins panicking while imagining what they could do to impress him. Clyde and Marty ask him to simply relax. Clyde concludes Damon probably wants to meet them to “pimp out his new charity”. He also concludes that, Damon must be on the side holding meetings with other consultants in town. His plan is to let Damon do the talking and then “flatter the fuck out of him”, because actors love that. Doug doesn’t agree with the idea and says Matt Damon is unique and not like other actors.

Marty tells Jeannie about Matt’s imminent visit and she too is excited with the news. Julienne tells Marty how important it is for them to secure Damon as a client, because it would be really great publicity for the firm. Matt later arrives and the whole team besides Marty who seems really enamored by his presence. He mentions that he is there looking for advice on how to promote his charity. He asks the team for the ideas it has come up with. Doug begins his presentation. Damon doesn’t seem too interested in it and makes small talk with Marty. He even asks Marty if he has had sex with Jeannie, who he (Matt) thinks is really hot. Matt says that he knows Marty is the “big dog around here” and mentions that Doug is freaking him out.

He says that he is sure Marty knows that “he needs a cause that is as big as the size of Clooney’s cause, only with bigger tits”. Basically, Damon wants to compete with Clooney when it comes to charity, so he too can seem as important as him, in the media. Damon asks Marty if he realizes where he is coming from. Marty is visibly disturbed by what Damon has just told him, but pretends that he understands. He suggests to Marty that they go out, so they can discuss at length as to what the game plan should be. “Let’s do it tonight. I got nothing else going on” Damon says. Marty tries to avoid it, but to no avail. Matt is adamant that they go out “tonight”.

Marty tells the team he would be going out with Damon in the night and asks Jeannie to come along. Turns out, Marty was suppose to go out with Roscoe in the night. He sees Roscoe has a thing for Jeannie and offers to send Jeannie with Roscoe, instead of him going. Roscoe is visibly excited with the idea and readily agrees. Marty tells Jeannie the favor he wants her to do. She isn’t at all happy with being relegated to being a babysitter. Marty bribes her by offering to pay her $2000, in return for the favor.

Monica and her housekeeper in the meantime are having some wild, passionate sex. Roscoe his friend Dylan and Jeannie, all arrive at the batting cages to hit a few balls. Roscoe isn’t at all happy about the fact that Dylan is more interested in Jeannie than anything else around him. Jeannie is really uncomfortable with Dylan trying to get so close to her and asks him to “back off”. Roscoe is happy to see that. Marty meets Damon at a club. Matt doesn’t at all seem interested in talking business, because he is too preoccupied with the attention he is getting from all the people in the club.

Roscoe and Jeannie have a chat and she tells him that “Dylan is a douche bag”, and Roscoe is too good for him. Roscoe hugs her and says he had a really good time. Damon whispers something in Marty’s ear and says he has to do what he has been told, if Marty wants to keep his business. Marty then walks up to a model who in spending time with her friends, in the club, and begins a conversation. Damon watches from a distance with a smile on his face. The model apparently takes offence to something that Marty says and the bouncer begins to beat him up. Marty tries to explain that it was Matt Damon who told him to say it.

The model and the bouncer both look at Matt and he admits that Marty was following his instructions. The model immediately begins kissing her friend who is with her; basically that is what Marty had asked her to do. Marty is so angry with Matt that he gives Matt a piece of his mind. Matt doesn’t seem to pay any heed to the insults Marty has heaped on him and leaves the club with a bunch of women. Next day in office, Marty tries telling the team what kind of a person Matt is, but they don’t believe him. Matt arrives a little later. Marty sees that Matt is really high. He asks the team to clear off and tries talking some sense into Matt, who doesn’t at all seem in his senses.

Matt asks Marty to give him a blowjob, if he wants him as a client. That is the last straw for Marty and he asks Matt to get out of the office. Matt apologizes to Marty and says he would be happy with just a handjob. Next, a commercial with Damon in it, is shown. He is shown fighting villains with a gun and saving kids, who are hungry and in need of medicines, in the war torn parts of Africa. After the shoot, Damon thanks Marty for the handjob. The episode ends at this point.

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Warning: House of Lies season 2 episode 4 guide may contain spoilers
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