Molly loves her brother Max, so much so that when he moved her out to California from Chicago she barely hesitated; however, when he asked for her help in cleaning his home, she knew that it wasn’t just him in over his head (in piled high garbage), but that she couldn’t even begin to dig him out.
There is virtually no floor visible and literally no counterspace or table to be seen. Cigarettes in the toilet, more hair everywhere (except on Max’s head) and half up/half down tattered curtains in the windows, this place is a sty! When Kim and Aggie arrive, the expressions on Aggie’s face are as real as reality t.v. gets. If she’s faking this, someone please nominate her for an Oscar!
It’s got to reek of cigarettes and nasty old food. Why do all of these people seem to eat in these dumpsters, but refuse to deal with the remnants of the meal? I can’t even imagine the smell of old, foul clothes which are everywhere in addition to the absolutely ‘outhouse’ of a bathroom.
This paralegal thinks he’s a musician because he’s ‘playing’ (it’s called turning the thing on) electronic keyboards with pre-programmed tunes and beats. These are the no-brainers for the tone deaf and encouragement for kids who might awaken an interest in taking lessons, learning to read music and really play, but for this adult to call himself a ‘musician’ with these toys? Well, musicians are rightfully offended.
The kitchen is more disgusting than the bathroom, so honestly, eating in the toilet is probably just as well. Here we have another shower that I’d be afraid to actually take a shower in. I can’t see that this guy’s even stood in there in recent weeks, the floor of it is so solid with greasy, grimy, crud and honestly, where is all that hair coming from?
When his sister presents him with a contract to not spend more than $50/month on online purchases, he looks like a kid who has had his hand slapped. There’s no doubt this one won’t stick, but kid sister got the attention she wanted and mugged for the cameras.
Cool trick is Kim showing how to clean cut glass bowls, ashtrays and such in a dip of water with a couple denture cleaning tablets in it (this is an old trick for cleaning toilet bowls too), but if you can’t get the right price on those tablets, a solution of white vinegar and water works just as well, and so does scrubbing with a paste of plain baking soda with a bit of warm water, or using any carbonated seltzer water, you get the idea. Denture tablets, well, if you can get them cheaper than the other options, what the heck.
Products placement is great for upcoming garage sales you might visit. You’ll know what all those things in the dollar bucket are supposed to do. It’s like owning a chocolate fountain, a fondue pot or battery operated pot scrubber - they’re cool at first, but then they’re just more trouble than they’re worth.
Aggie and her swabs go to work in the shower drain, which I have no doubt whatsoever is toxic to the tenth degree! Kim is using linseed oil and white vinegar to ‘feed’ the skin of an old briefcase this collecto’manic has. About equal parts of each, shaken in a small jar and a good scrubbing. Of course some regular oil soap and warm water - will probably be less expensive and do just as well. So will a gentle dish soap with a good rinse afterwards.
The mold we have this time is ‘nigrospora’and of course it’s ‘dangerous’. Any mold grown in concentrated quantities like the Petri dishes Aggie totes around will likely be ‘dangerous’; but, in this case, I really wouldn’t step foot in that shower as it is!
Aggie uses turpentine and salt (1/4 cup + 3 tablespoons) to clean the tub and needing to use serious chemicals like this just helps bring home how bad this bathroom is.
Kim, meanwhile, tackles the keyboards using make-up remover pads (which I’ve never found inexpensive enough to use to clean the house). Opt for disposable hand wipes, or better yet, disinfectant wipes for around the house.
Coming into the finished product this time is exceptionally rewarding. It’s a remarkable difference, not just in being able to see the floors, noticing the curtains are new (tab top as opposed to hooked), his ridiculous collection of pretend keyboards is neatly stacked and the trademark of this show - scented candles everywhere they can possibly be and in some spots they probably shouldn’t (in bookcases, near curtains, towels and other flammables).
The two week follow up finds the countless candles out and just a little lived in look starting to take shape, but it’s still pretty clean. As I’ve said all along, two weeks isn’t enough to really tell, so stay tuned for the 30 day review soon to come with another massively messy episode.
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