Cleaning House - Recap

Barney is telling the crew a story about his sex life, but he can't tonight. He doesn't want to talk about it and they start talking about Deadliest Catch. He says that his mother is selling the house that he grew up in. Ted says he knows what he's going through and Marshall thinks that it's silly because his mom still lives in the house he grew up in. Ted says that it isn't the same because of his step dad and the fact that he's pretty sure he's turned Ted's old room into a tantric sex temple. Barney asks the crew to help him move his mother out of the house. They say no and that he can't convince them to do it, either. Somehow magically, he does convince them.

They end up at her house packing up. His brother shows up to help out, too. Robin and Ted talk about how she is talking him up for a blind date. He says that she should consider underselling him as opposed to overselling him. James, Barney, Marshall, and Lily are working on his room. They soon realize thanks to his brother James that his mother was overprotective and would protect him from all failures. For one thing, he thought he got kicked off of his pee wee basketball because he was too good but really he was awful at it. Barney finds the supposed letter from the post office general who claims that all of his invitations got lost in the mail for his one birthday party. She even told him that Bob Barker was his dad. Neither of them know who their real father is.

They are realizing that she really lied a lot to them. Lily says that Marshall's mother would give him cough medicine when he was too excited. Marshall and Lily argue over telling their kids that Santa is real. Marshall thinks that they should keep it up and Lily doesn't want to lie to them. James and Barney are talking on the couch, looking over all of the valentines that Barney supposedly got. James tries to tell him in a round about way that they were all from their mom, but he just doesn't get it. They found a letter to Sam Gibbs. It's a picture of them when they were little kids. On the back, she wrote "your son".

James asks their mom who Sam Gibbs is and she seems caught off guard by it. She then says it doesn't sound familiar and offers sloppy joes. She starts lying even more by rounding up an absurd story about how "Your Son" was a town in Minnesota and that they needed the picture for their sculpture. James tries to get down to the bottom of it, but Barney still believes everything that she is saying.

Robin tells Ted that she talked him down and reads it to him. She says that he's not that great in bed the first two times but he is clean nice, down to earth, and takes criticism well. James is still trying (and failing) to tell him that Bob Barker is not his dad and Sam Gibbs is probably his dad. James decides that they are going on an itty bitty road trip to go visit this Sam Gibbs. Barney thinks that it is rude to interrupt this man's retirement to Long Island. He still doesn't believe it. James says he's just too scared to face the truth and stop living in a dream world. It turns out that the whole crew has decided to tag along. Marshall and Lily are in the front of the truck with them. They are eating sloppy joes and Marshall says "maybe we shouldn't have brought these sloppy joes". Lily says that what's done is done.

Ted and Robin are in the back of the truck figuring out what she is supposed to say to explain Ted to his blind date. He wants to pick the middle ground. She just accidentally sent the email that is pretty bad about him to everyone due to the fact that they hit a bump in the truck. The gang finally gets to his possibly real father's house and he tells James that he knows his dad isn't Bob Barker. He just didn't like himself very much growing up and having a famous father made him feel better about himself. He says that he is ready to meet him. They ring the doorbell and it turns out that it is really James' possible father. He says he definitely knew Loretta.

Barney decides for some reason that he too is his son and hugs him. Marshall says "uh oh". Sam Gibbs is confused and he thinks that he is his dad. He says that his mom was convinced that she'd take care of him on her own and he had to respect her wishes even though he wanted to see him all the time. Barney goes to get his camera since he now thinks he is black and wants a picture for this momentous occasion. Marshall thinks that maybe they should let Barney have this one because today has been an insane day for him in regards to finding out a lot of awful things. Marshall says "let the dude be black for a day".

Barney comes up and is really excited about the fact that he thought he was a light skinned Caucasian but now he knows he is a really light skinned black man. Sam and James realized how much they have in common and bonded a lot even though Barney tried to jump in while Lily pulls him away. Ted and Robin are outside and she says Liz still wants to meet him. James and Sam still bond and he says he has a grandson while Barney is trying to get his attention by saying he can run fast.

At home, Barney's mom wants to talk to him. She tells him that she just wanted to be the only thing that mattered for them. She tells him that Sam is not his father. He realizes that he doesn't need to know as his mother was everything he needed.


Share this article with your friends