Bad News - Recap

Marshall and Lily go see a fertility specialist after having tried to have a baby for a total of six days, due to being anxious about not having gotten pregnant yet. When whole months pass, however, there still is no sign of the spark of a baby being made. There is another specialist that they end up going to see about this potential problem.

But now Barney has pressing issues of his own. He asks Marshall and Ted which one of them would care to be his partner in an upcoming doubles laser tag tournament. Marshall tells Barney that he is "not playing laser tag" and Ted says he is "absolutely not playing laser tag." Barney knew this would happen, so, never the type to accept defeat, he chooses the lesser of the rejections, which means Marshall has become the reluctant winner of that prize.

Lily visits the specialist, whose name is Dr. Stangel. He looks exactly like Barney: it appears that they have found his doppelganger. The only thing that sets the two apart is that Dr. Stangel has a dark beard, but even that is suspicious because the appearance is so uncanny. Lily gets aggravated and has become convinced that Barney has set her up, and that the doctor is not a doppelganger, or a doctor, or even a different person. She believes that there is no Dr. Stangel. At this point, she demands to know how Barney managed to pull off the stunt of pretending to be a different person. When Marshall finally has convinced her that Barney is not Dr. Stangel, Lily is upset that the hot dog stand guy they thought was Barney is doppelganger didn't really look like him.

Marshall and Lily visit Dr. Stangel together and Marshall also thinks it is Barney, until they call Barney over to the office and he meets the Dr. Stangel face to face. Lily is still uncomfortable being examined by Dr. Stangel until they get Barney in the same room with blinders and noise-cancelling headphones on -- just to make sure it isn't him.

Meanwhile, Robin had started her new job as a research associate for World Wide News, and Sandy Rivers is the new host. Sandy was Robin’s co-host where she used to work, and Ted’s old archenemy. Her first day was made even worse when Sandy tells everyone in the newsroom that they have had sex.

Dr. Stangel tells Lily that she is “extremely fertile.” Marshall is about to call his dad, but quickly hangs up because now he has begun to convince himself that he may be the problem.

The second day at work for Robin was worse than the first day, after she convinced Sandy at last that they in fact did not have sex. This does not mean she is in the clear: he has remembered that she once fell in horse manure while interviewing a carriage driver. He showed everyone the video, and now everyone has taken to calling her "Scherpoopy."

Marshall’s dad calls but Marshall refuses to answer it because he only likes to tell his dad good news. Several examples are shown, each one more miniscule than the previous. He relates that he would not know how to tell his father any bad news. But the real bad news is only on the horizon.

Robin has her third day of work, which is even worse than the second day because after she concedes defeat to the fact that there are “bound to be a few embarrassing moments,” Sandy has one of the researchers do some digging and he finds what he calls “everything.” This includes every last flub that the camera ever caught. These range from the infamous “Robin Sparkles” videos to a variety of calamities caught on tape, everyone now knows “everything”.

Marshall pays a visit to Dr. Stangel and is sent into a panic when he is told to go to a private room to retrieve his sample. His thoughts go toward all of the men who have done the deed he was about to do in that very room. He pleads with the doctor to go home so he can provide the sample in a much more familiar and comfortable environment; the doctor obliges him, but warns him that he has one hour before the office closes, so he needs to make it a quick endeavor. Marshall races home only to find his parents waiting there with Lily.

Lily tries to divert Marshall’s parents as he goes into the bathroom to do what must be done, but his mother relentlessly distracts him by telling him about various things of a nature which does not benefit Marshall’s cause at this point, including her new two-piece bathing suit (meanwhile she bizarrely insists that he picture what it would look like on a woman of her epoch), and his dad erratically becomes keyed up over the fact that Fred Cox is the best kicker in Minnesota Vikings history (and is resolute in chanting the name "Cox, Cox, Cox" through the door, to Marshall’s severe chagrin).

Ted tells Robin that he looked up Sandy’s address in a crafty reconnaissance mission, and that he paid a visit to Sandy’s apartment prepared to have him listen to what he specifically cites, ‘common sense’ and ‘reasonable discourse’ (these, we find out, are the names of his feet, which is relevant because Ted is a kicker). Ted goes to Sandy’s apartment and Sandy--who turns out to be bald, the knowledge of which is uncovered when he is seen without his hair piece--answers the door with a wild party happening behind him. Just one element of this includes a strange kind of bondage scenario and a stuffed bear dressed in a pink bra. Ted holds up a camera and gleefully takes a picture. Sandy smiles for it, all too pleased to oblige in his own reputation’s demise. Meanwhile, Robin is all too pleased himself to share the new information that Sandy wears a toupee.

Back at Marshall’s place, his mother is still going on to him about her wonderful bathing suit. She then reminds him that they need him to make a decision whether or not he is coming to Florida for the summer. “Are you coming?” she asks him repeatedly, which has a double entendre sort of effect. Marshall blasts out of the bathroom and announces he is leaving. He cannot bring himself to tell of where he is going, but Lily blurts out that he is going to find a place where he can masturbate in peace, without saying all those words; just the word “masturbate”, the parents surely could figure out the rest of it. This is when Marshall tells his parents everything, and they assure him that everything is going to be fine.

Robin finally has a good day at work. She decided on taking his advice and playing along with the whole office and their easy amusement, going so far as to bring her Robin Sparkles jacket and sporting it.

Marshall visits Dr. Stangel, who informs him that, based on the results of his test it is highly unlikely that he will ever be capable of fathering a child. He prescribes a regimen of cardio-based activity and then, in a sort of mockery, begins explaining the benefits of laser tag. Marshall realizes it is Barney because of the conversation earlier in the episode. He pulls the fake beard off, and Barney leaves and the real Dr. Stangel (who still looks exactly like Barney) comes in to tell Marshall that his sperm is perfectly fine.

Back at the bar, Marshall pops champagne with the crew and runs outside to call his dad. When there is no answer, he decides he will leave a message. This is the point when things turn south; Lily comes to the bar in a cab and begins to cry as she lets Marshall in on the bad news: his dad has had a heart attack and he did not survive.

Marshall, dazed, confused, and lost, grasps Lily in his arms and starts to quietly sob. The episode ends with him saying to her, "I’m not ready for this."


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