The Slutty Pumpkin Returns - Recap
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Ted tells his kids that Barney has a lot of fun giving Robin grief about her being Canadian. She tells Barney that his father's mother was born Manitoba. He is 1/4th Canadian. It's the end of the world for Barney. He feels like it is impossible.
Ted talks about meeting a girl that was the slutty pumpkin. She gave him her number on a Kit Kat bar and that ended up being handed out as halloween candy. He never saw her again. Several years later, he's walking down the street and sees the Slutty Pumpkin costume. He decides to go in and ask the clerk whether or not he could tell him who rented the costume back then. He gives her the information and decides to play this right. He goes and just knocks on her door. She remembers him. Halloween, ten years ago. She tells him that that's a slow play.
Marshall and Lily are visiting her grandparents. They have a proposition for her. He seems to want to move to the suburbs and she doesn't want to. They are giving her the house and she takes it.
Ted took The Slutty Pumpkin to where they first met 10 years before. She asks if he remembers the song that was playing and then sings The Barenaked Ladies. She continues, seems a bit annoying to Ted but he tolerates it. He kisses her. She's an awful kisser.
Robin, Lily, and Marshall talk about possibly moving to the suburbs. She feels like it's perfect timing, because they are having a baby. Robin thinks that they aren't moving, because she's only doing this because she has pregnancy brain. Robin tries to point out how dumb Lily has been lately. Marshall acknowledges that she's been doing some stupid things lately, such as putting her keys and wallet in the freezer. She ends up putting the ice cube trays in her purse and then cries because they melted.
Robin tells Marshall if they move now, it will be like taking advantage of a helpless drunk chick. Barney comes up and goes “what, where?” and then remembers he has a girlfriend. Marshall tells Lily that they should put off moving, because he thinks that the pregnancy is messing up her judgment. Robin orders Canadian whiskey and he liked the way it tasted until he was told what it was. He asks her why she keeps doing this and she tells him that it feels good since he's been giving her guff about being Canadian since they have known one another.
Ted shows up and Lily asks what happened with The Slutty Pumpkin. He says it was good-ish. It feels very strange holding her hand and when she wraps him around her, he's even less comfortable. She says that this feels so right, that they fit like two puzzle pieces. Robin says that some things are not meant to be and Ted says that when he kissed her eyeball he may have actually felt some chemistry. When Barney goes to pay for a drink, he learns that Robin has exchanged the currency so he only has Canadian money.
Ted says the second date with Naomi was even more awkward. She kisses weird and sounds like a cow when she moans. She plays Barenaked Ladies and says it is their song. She believes they should make love to it. He gets weirded out and goes into the bathroom. His 15 year old self gives him grief about not wanting to have sex with Naomi. He even illustrates all of the weird things he did “feel intimate' with such as a top loading VCR, a catchers mit, an oven mit, and a glass of warm water. He also notes that they made a deal that he'd sleep with whoever wanted to sleep with him. He goes back to hang for a bit and she runs her fingers through his hair, telling him how much she really enjoys “caressing” his hair. She says it multiple times and it bothers him.
Ted decides that it is time to break up with Naomi and leaves the bar. Lily tells Marshall that maybe they sshould wait on moving to the suburbs. He asks her if it is because she tried to make waffles with the laptop. She tells him that they're just not ready and they are going to put the house up for sale or rent. She also tells him that he was right, the Minnesota sports gear is really going to make the apartment look very classy. Everyone looks at him strangely and he says “it's bad to bang the drunk chick, but you're an idiot if you don't get a little something”. Robin calls at him “Yo, Canada” and he responds. She tells him that if he dresses up for halloween in what she wants him to, then she'll let go of the fact that he's Canadian too. She will no longer make fun of him.
At the house, Marshall and Lily are preparing. Trick Or Treaters show up wanting candy and they have none. It turns out that Lily had some candy prepared. She tells him that only cuteness like that happens in the suburbs. He asks her if she's using the kids to manipulate him into moving there. He asks if she called the realtor and she says, “No. I've got pregnancy brain like a fiddle and I have been playing you like a fox”.
Barney prepares and it seems that his costume is a Canadian police officer get up. He cries while singing “O, Canada”. Ted goes to see Naomi to break up with her and she has the slutty pumpkin costume on. She also made him the costume from the first night. He has a hard time breaking up with her and ends up telling her that he loves her instead.
Robin calls Barney asking what is taking so long. She can't wait to see him in his costume. He comes in dressed as the most American man that ever existed. Marshall is worried that she's going to hate him once she has the baby. She tells him that he can get that pinball machine he always wanted. He tells her that he wants to be in that house so badly.
Robin is shocked that he'd rather be American for Halloween instead of Canadian, since she would have stopped making fun of him. He's not wearing a shirt, he's wearing shorts, and a hat. She tells him he must be freezing and he says he's fine. She says that it seems strange that he's not cold, almost like his body was accustomed to low temperatures after generations of adapting.
Naomi and Ted show up and they are shocked. Apparently, he had sex with Naomi. He said that no part of it felt right. He tells them that he said I love you instead. Lily has convinced him. The next batch of trick or treaters end up with a stapler, sharp scissors, and some wine. They go back to the city. Naomi breaks up with Ted. She thinks that they are terrible together. She said that she's been trying, but it didn't work. Also, she was being sarcastic and ridiculous when she said that she wanted to make love to Barenaked Ladies.
When Barney gets home, he splits between American and Canadian. They fight or he hits him. He wonders why he's so nice.